The Heat is On! Hydrate with an Ostomy

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By Ellyn Mantell

While walking this morning it occurred to me that for many Ostomates, the heat is very challenging. Ileostomates, in particular, are prone to dehydration because our stoma is always productive. In Mother Nature’s inimitable creation, the colon, or large bowel, is responsible for absorbing fluids and allowing them to be reabsorbed into the body. Since ileostomates either no longer have a colon or it is no longer being used, the precious fluids are flushed from the body through the stoma. Hence the rapid filling and refilling of the pouch, which can be worse in the heat.

Naturally, drinking water is advised. UOAA’s new ostomy nutrition guide recommends you “Make a habit of drinking water throughout the day. At the same time, limit or avoid beverages with added sugars and artificial colors and sweeteners.”  Many of us may have difficulty drinking enough to support our anatomy, so we need to be mindful of symptoms that we are lacking the hydration/dehydration balance.

Some symptoms of dehydration include headache, fatigue, dark or decreased urine, lack of concentration, dry mouth, feeling disoriented, shortness of breath, dry skin, stomach cramps. Additionally, leg cramps, loss of appetite, drowsiness, tingling in fingertips and muscle weakness are all concomitant to dehydration.

Learning to live with the chronic dehydration possibility presented to ostomates is certainly attainable. For me, since I do not have a high blood pressure issue which might preclude adding salt, it means adding it frequently at meals. It is strange to servers at restaurants when I ask for the salt shaker, and many have asked if I mean the pepper shaker? We have become a salt-resistant society. But there are those of us who need it for our fluid balance. Additionally, I have a handful of a salty snack before bed, such as pretzels, since nighttime muscle cramps can be very painful and cause sleep deprivation. I keep a bottle of tonic water in the refrigerator, as well as a jar of pickles for those times when nothing else works. For muscle cramps I recommend an over the counter foam moisture. The manufacturers recommend using it prophylactically at night, but I have found it usually very fast-acting when I have foot or leg cramps, so I apply as needed.

Many Ostomates swear by sports drinks like Gatorade, but truthfully, although I have a bottle in the refrigerator at all times in case of fever, I find it difficult to drink. However, if presented with the option of drinking it or winding up in the Emergency Room for fluids, I will imbibe gladly! It’s recommended you dilute sports drinks to reduce the sugar content as well. At some of our Support Group meetings I have heard of many different electrolyte balancing drinks and powders, so you may find one that works for you.

UOAA recommends you drink 8–10, eight-ounce glasses of water/fluid daily. If you have a urostomy this also helps prevent UTIs and keeps urine diluted. Concentrated urine also can cause odor.

View UOAA’s Eating with an Ostomy Guide for more hydration tips such as avoiding excess caffeine, eating foods with a higher water content and sipping your liquids slowly.

It has been recommended that Ostomates drink more than simply water, since it flushes through the system and little gets absorbed before it exits through our pouch. Drink with meals, since food slows down the transport of fluids. Bring fluids with you when you are out and about, since being busy may cause us to forget the responsibility we have to stay hydrated. Lastly, in addition to feeling awful when we are dehydrated, being in that state puts a great deal of pressure on our kidneys, and can lead to kidney failure and lightheadedness, which can lead to falling.

Although this sounds ominous for summer fun, being mindful and smart will help us to relax and enjoy ourselves…after all, with the Covid experience, we have learned to grab the good and be grateful we are as healthy as we are!

 

Ellyn Mantell is a UOAA advocate and Affiliated Support Group leader from New Jersey. You can follow her personal blog at morethanmyostomy

Ostomy Diet Guidelines After Surgery

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Chances are you will be able to return to your normal diet not too long after your operation. It is good to keep in mind that foods that were good and healthy for your body before your operation are still good for you. A well-balanced diet is recommended for most individuals.

Although your ostomy nurse more than likely will give you tips and advise you on your health and diet, here are some alternative helpful suggestions for maintaining a proper diet after your ileostomy or colostomy surgery.

Start Small

Ease your way back to proper nutrition with small quantities of food. It is recommended to eat 3 or more times per day in smaller quantities and portions. Try to eat these meals at the same time each day to help regulate bowel movements. Eating more frequently and in smaller quantities will help aid your body’s ability to process food and help with unnecessary gas.

For the first several weeks after your surgery, eating simple and bland soft foods will be easier to digest. Keep in mind that chewing your food well also adds to the ease of digestion – the more broken up it is, the easier it will be to process. Take your time with introducing high-fiber foods back into your diet as these will be harder to digest and can cause blockages.

If you are trying new foods it is advised to try them slowly and one at a time. This will help you to have a better understanding of how your body works with the new foods and if any will cause excess gas, constipation, strange odors, or diarrhea. Slowly incorporate them into your diet and make note of how your body responds to them. Remember that every body is different and what affects someone else may not affect you in the same way, this is why it can be helpful to keep a journal or diary of how your body responds to different foods.

Drink Lots of Liquids

It is important to drink lots of liquids with an ostomy. If you have an ileostomy, even more specific ileostomy dietary guidelines will be helpful. Dehydration can happen as you lose more fluids daily after an ileostomy, due to the fluid not being reabsorbed into the large intestine. Make sure to hydrate even more on hot and humid days or if you are participating in active sports. (Sports drinks and other high electrolyte drinks can help with this.)

Coffee and tea are fine to drink, but water and juices are still better sources of liquid, so be careful not to use coffee or tea as a substitute for water.

Can I Drink Alcohol With my Ostomy?

Alcohol is fine in moderation, you may want to try one drink (or even a half) and wait and see how it affects your body. Like other carbonated beverages, beer may cause extra gas and uncomfortable bloating but every body is different and what affects one person, may not affect you in the same way.

Ostomy Problem Foods

Even though you can still enjoy most of the foods you loved before surgery, there are some foods to be aware of after your ostomy, specifically foods that are hard on digestion and can cause blockages. The following is a list of common foods that can cause problems, as they don’t break down easily:

Nuts
Seeds
Popcorn
Dried fruit
Mushrooms
Raw-crunchy vegetables

Eat these foods in small quantities and be sure to chew them well. If you think you have a food blockage, you should call your doctor or ostomy nurse. Having an ostomy certainly doesn’t mean you have to completely change your diet. By steering clear of a short list of problem foods and making sure to stay hydrated, you can get back to enjoying the foods you love.

Editor’s note: This article is from one of our digital sponsors, Coloplast. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Scott Steehn’s Story

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Finding Hope in the Stories of Others

By Scott Steehn

All stories have a beginning, and mine is no different. It started on a cold, slate-colored February day in Erie, Pennsylvania in 1992. I was a successful standup comic who had headlined clubs and theaters in all 50 states and seven foreign countries. I was recently engaged to my soulmate, and we were making plans for a big October wedding. I was just finishing up a great week at a terrific comedy club in Erie and, as I prepared for my two shows on Saturday night, I felt like everything couldn’t have been going any better. But, in just 12 hours, none of those things would matter.

It started when I was onstage during the first show. I began having abdominal pain on my left, lower side. It wasn’t a huge pain and mainly felt like a had a fairly intense need to move my bowels. I finished up my show and made a beeline to the restroom. And…nothing happened. Nothing at all. The NEED was still there, and, in fact, it was getting worse. I, of course, had been constipated before, but this felt somehow…different.

I did my second show, but the pain was now almost unbearable. I headed back to my hotel, stopping only at a drugstore to pick up a laxative. I had convinced myself it was just constipation and had even assigned the blame to the shrimp dinner I’d had the night before. “Fresh Shrimp” in February…in Erie?! What did I expect to happen?

I took the laxative. And I waited. And tried. And waited some more. And then the pain got bad. Real bad. I could barely walk and couldn’t move without intense pain shooting out from my left side. Now I had a new theory. Burst appendix. This was before the days of Web MD, and I was limited to only what my imagination could conjure to freak myself out. So, not wanting to die a ridiculous death in the Erie Hilton, I called a taxi and headed to the hospital.

They got me into an exam room in short order. The doctor examined me and, taking advantage of his fancy medical degree, immediately eliminated appendicitis. So much for that. He then told me he had an idea what it was but wanted an MRI to confirm the results. A quick trip through the “donut of doom” confirmed his initial diagnosis. It was something called diverticulitis. He explained how we all have small abscesses in the colon and how they usually don’t cause any problems. Sometimes, however, those abscesses become infected. It causes horrible pain and constipation, and once it gets this bad, it has to be treated with antibiotics and mass quantities of fluids. I spent a painful week in the hospital and was discharged with very specific instructions on how to adjust my diet and lifestyle to prevent a recurrence. I thanked all the staff for the great job they did, signed some papers, checked out…and promptly ignored his instructions for the next 20 years.

Christmas Eve, 2012. My wife has had enough. The final straw came when I was unable to make it upstairs for the family gift exchange. As soon as it was over, she came down and told me we were going to head to the emergency room. I didn’t have the energy to argue. Plus, I knew she was right. I’d been feeling terrible for almost three years. Something was definitely not right. It seemed like it emanated from the “diverticulitis spot” that I had become intimately familiar with due to the flare-ups I suffered through two or three times a year. The only confusing part was I had undergone a colonoscopy six months prior and had received a clean bill of health. Only much later did I learn that I had received a negligent result. My doctors all agreed- there was no way my problem could have been missed.

I should have known I was in trouble when, after the emergency room doc saw me initially, he asked me if I’d like anything for pain. I jokingly said, “Sure, how about some morphine?” He immediately replied, “Okay, we’ll get that going for you.” Uh oh. A little later he told me I had a blockage that had been caused by a buildup of scar tissue from the repeated flare-ups of diverticulitis. They needed to get rid of the infection and then remove the two damaged sections of bowel. Surgery was scheduled for New Year’s Eve. Merry Christmas and Happy freaking New Year!

I spent the next week in a morphine haze. I met my surgeon, a brilliant young lady who looked impossibly young for someone with that much schooling. She explained that they were hoping to remove the damaged sections laparoscopically. It was a relatively simple procedure that would require a couple of days of recovery in the hospital, a week or two at home, and then back to my normal life. The alternative would be invasive surgery, much longer recovery time, and, while the healing took place, I would need to have a colostomy. Due in part to my opiate fog and also due to my refusal to accept reality, I was 100% convinced everything would be done laparoscopically. No worries.

The first thing I noticed when I came to was something in my throat. Something huge and foreign. As my world blinked into focus, the nurse was there to explain to me that the damage was much worse than they had anticipated. Full surgery had been performed and I was going to be in the hospital for a while. The drugs were very helpful in allowing me to deny exactly what exactly that meant. I was much more concerned with getting the tube out of my throat and the catheter out of the other end. That cavalier attitude about my situation would soon change.

The nurses and staff were great. They changed my colostomy bag for me and allowed me to STILL not grasp my situation. That all changed when I met the ostomy nurse. She was tasked with teaching me the intricacies of daily life with a colostomy. Reality came crashing through the door when I spent 30 minutes hiding in the restroom in tears unable to change my bag. I can’t do this! This isn’t fair! (Conveniently forgetting the 20 years I had spent ignoring my doctor’s orders) Gathering myself, I sucked it up, and FINALLY was able to do it on my own. I was discharged and sent home to recuperate and heal for 30 days before heading back to the hospital for takedown surgery.

I’d like to tell you a story about how well I adjusted. About how I was brave. About how I was thankful to be alive. About how I now appreciated my friends and family even more. About how I would now refused to take all the beauty of life for granted. That’s the story I’d like to tell. But I can’t. It would be a lie. Even though none of you know me, I promised myself I would be 100% honest about my journey. Warts and all. So here goes.

It was awful. I hated every minute of it. I thought having a colostomy was gross. And hard. Life wasn’t fair. NOTHING was fair. I can’t do this. There were the usual indignities. Accidents. Broken seals. Excess gas. I was in hell. Never for one moment did I think how my situation affected those around me. How my actions and attitude affected my family, and, my wife in particular, who only wanted me to get better and get back to being the man she married. As an added bonus, I was also taking 12 Oxycodone a day for pain, and, rightly suspected, now had a raging opioid addiction. My day consisted of sleeping, crying, bitching at my family, thinking about death, and dealing with my new, hated, appendage. Day after day. Rinse, lather, repeat.

Then, one day while noodling around on the internet, I found UOAA. I started reading about my condition. And I started reading other people’s stories. I found out just how many dealt with this particular challenge. I was stunned. And the more stories I read, the more my respect grew. People who had to deal with this for years. For decades. Tears streamed down my face as I read their stories. I’d love to tell you everything changed that day. How my attitude changed overnight and how I became Mr. Positivity. Alas, it wasn’t that simple.

What DID happen, is I became embarrassed about my actions. I had always prided myself on being a tough guy who dealt with problems head-on. The more I read on ostomy.org, the more I knew this was a lie.

Every day I read the stories of real heroes. Men and women who possessed the biggest superpower of all, the ability to live a normal life despite adversity that was currently bringing me to my knees. To say they inspired me, would be an understatement. Closer to the truth would be, they saved my life.

They gave me practical advice, “insider tips” on everything from bathing to sex, and something I hadn’t felt in a long time. They gave me hope. I never posted on the UOAA discussion board. Hell, I don’t think I even registered. Due to my “temporary” status, I really didn’t think anyone wanted to hear my whining. If everything went well, my life would go back to “normal,” while these people would continue to lead quietly heroic lives day after day, year after year. I didn’t feel worthy. And I still don’t.

That’s my story. Sure, there’s more, including an unsuccessful takedown, massive infection, emergency surgery, and an ileostomy for a few more months. There was a wound vac, and an in-home nurse to change my dressing daily. And, of course, after 6 ½ months of daily opioid use, I still had to deal with that King Kong-sized habit. Yet, in the end, I was okay. It probably took almost two years to feel like me again. And even that isn’t completely accurate.

I recovered, I felt better physically, but “myself” was different. I was more appreciative, more humble, and more thankful. I was well, but I’d never be the same.

So, thanks for reading. Thanks to Ed Pfueller for giving me an opportunity to share my story. Thanks to the whole team at UOAA and, for that matter, all of the sites designed to educate, inform, and help everyone on this particular journey. Lastly, more thanks than I could ever express to all the men and women who bravely shared their stories through blogs and forums. Thanks for your bravery. Thanks for your humor. And thanks for giving me the courage to understand and accept my condition with, what I hope, was grace and determination that would make you all proud. God bless each and every one of you and may your lives be full of the joy and love that you so richly deserve. I am forever in your debt.

 

Lacee Harper’s Story

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Imagine being your 15-year-old self again. What did that feel like? Young, carefree, happy…healthy?
For me, I felt all of those things every day. I played the clarinet, got good grades, was athletic from running track, active in school/church clubs and had amazing family/friends. What more could I want as a teenager?

I didn’t want for anything until one day I no longer felt like my healthy self anymore and all I wanted was to be healthy again. This is when my life changed forever…

It was November of 2012, at the time I had just moved to Los Angeles, California with my mother from Maryland. I was very excited to move and support my mom with her new job opportunity. She is like my best friend and nurturer at the same time. It was always just her and I growing up, no siblings. California’s scenery was colorful and vibrant. All I could picture were the great things my future would bring living there.

That picture flipped upside down within weeks. I could feel my stomach expressing to me that it didn’t like the chicken nuggets or the pepperoni pizza, I was feeding it. Sharp pains that felt like knives were sticking me each time I would eat, pushed me to never want to pick up another piece of food again. No over-the-counter medicine could relieve the amount of pain I would feel. Sick little me sat helplessly with my mother by my side in Ronald Regan UCLA Medical Center’s emergency room waiting to be admitted and seen by a doctor. I thought to myself, “What was happening to me? I don’t understand.”

I couldn’t understand. I was just fine a month ago. My mom was just as confused as I was. The doctors weren’t transparent enough with my diagnosis and had trouble figuring out what was the actual problem. After a few tests, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis/Crohn’s disease. This diagnosis soon changed once the gastrointestinal team at UCLA Medical Center (UCLAMC) realized it was strictly my colon that was being affected which changed my diagnosis to ulcerative colitis.

I had no idea what ulcerative colitis was nor had I ever heard of it before. My current gastroenterologist, Dr. Ziring, asked who in my family had the disease but I wasn’t familiar with anyone. My father, mother, and grandparents didn’t have any trace of ulcerative colitis. It was concluded that the change in climate and stress could have taken a toll on my body to make me flare-up. I couldn’t eat certain foods anymore. I was prescribed all types of medication that I had never seen and forced to take pills that were pretty huge to swallow.

Lacee Harper with her mother.

Nearly one month spent in the hospital, my routine had changed. I would wake up take my meds first, eat (liquid-solid foods), watch TV, read a book, walk around to gain my strength and repeat at least three times a day. Once I was released, I remember being so happy to be a normal person again. That feeling went away when my mom took me to buy nutritional drinks to restore my protein, vitamins, and minerals. I couldn’t fit into any of my clothes from the amount of weight I lost and my toned body went away. Dr. Ziring told me that I would live with this forever because there is no cure, which I didn’t want to believe. All I could do was try to understand and educate why my body reacted the way it did to certain foods, activities and mental stability.

Fast forward to 2013 where I moved back to Maryland with my mother, I was enrolled back in my previous high school and actively seeing, pediatric gastroenterologist, Dr. Oliva-Hemker at John Hopkin’s hospital. I couldn’t do any of the previous extracurricular activities I participated in and could only workout at a minimal intensity due to my low blood counts. Throughout the school year, I experienced many flare-ups and trial/error with different medications. Some hospitalizations were longer than others and overtime I became stricter with my diet to prevent excessive flare-ups. My high school graduation wasn’t the best time for me because I was experiencing a severe flare-up that interfered with my ability to keep food down. I missed my senior week summer trip to recover in the hospital and get back to feeling better again.

After graduating from high school, I switched gastroenterologists since I was considered an adult. Dr. Rosen had been my mom’s gastroenterologist for years so the transition was smooth. I was stabilized on Humira and Prednisone throughout my community college career. By then, my mother and I had moved to Atlanta where the weather was nicer. I think the weather, being around family/friends and less stress I experienced helped my flare-ups calm down living in Atlanta. I truly enjoyed my time there and experiencing college at Georgia State University, as well as working part-time.

Lacee recently graduated with a master’s degree from the S.I. Newhouse School of Communications at Syracuse University.

Once I completed my first two years of college and received my associate’s degree, I transferred to Syracuse University (SU) to achieve my bachelor’s degree. This was one of the hardest transitions of my life moving from the South to the cold North. My third year of college and first-year being away at a university led to my body experiencing an extreme transition which resulted in three severe flare-ups. My mother left Atlanta and moved back to Maryland to be closer to me because she was terrified of how sick I was getting. Each time I flared up, I flew home to get the treatment from Dr. Rosen. Suddenly, Humira no longer worked for my body anymore and Prednisone wasn’t healthy for me to keep using to reduce inflammation due to its side effects.

During senior year, my 3-week hospitalization interfered with my academics and involvement in extracurricular activities. At this time, I was advised to try Entyvio and I was tired of trying new medications. The only way I could have some quality of life was to remove my colon. My mom was concerned for me, but I couldn’t let her concerns steer my thinking I knew I had to do this for me if I wanted to make it to graduation.

In November of 2017, I set an appointment with Dr. Colvin in Northern Virginia to discuss my surgery. I had the surgery during my college winter break, spent Christmas in the hospital, recovered and returned back to school. At the time, I didn’t know how I was going to apply to graduate school at the S.I. Newhouse School of Communications at SU but I did that during my recovery period. It took a lot of exercise, mental motivation, empathy and support from family, my best friends, mentors and peers at school. With amazing grace and good spirits, I got accepted into the public relations program at the S.I. Newhouse School of Communications.

From this specific point on, learning how to function in everyday life with my ostomy took a lot of patience, time, emotional breakdowns, motivation and positive mental strength. I don’t regret any of it at all. I do not have to worry about missing out or not fully enjoying any more important events of my life. Now as of 2020, I have been medication-free for two full years, graduated school with all of my degrees, feel healthier than ever, working full-time in public relations and am actively pursuing my dreams in the entertainment (modeling/tv/film) industry.

It wasn’t until a couple of months ago, I discovered United Ostomy Association of America (UOAA) and chose to reach out to Advocacy Manager Jeanine Gleba about getting more involved. Since reaching out, I have gained the opportunity to advocate for patient’s access to treatment during the Digestive Disease National Coalition Day on the Hill and spoke on the behalf of UOAA. I am elated to have met UOAA’s team and to represent others like myself who have experienced challenging obstacles.

I couldn’t be more grateful for my ostomy and must say that it changed my life for the good. Life is full of obstacles but how you choose to overcome them will make your life. I chose to take full control of my life in order to have a better quality of life. It doesn’t matter who you are, you can truly do whatever you put your mind to. Believing in yourself and staying grounded in positivity, motivation and dedication is key. Follow your dreams, find what makes you happy and don’t let the negatives take control of your life.

Ostomy Myths vs Reality

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Let’s Debunk These Common Ostomy Myths

 

 

 

After ostomy surgery, you may find helpful tips from other people living with an ostomy in online communities, support groups, forums and more. Weeding through the fact and fiction can be difficult. We asked certified ostomy nurses to outline some of the most common myths they hear to provide you with the truth about living with an ostomy.

 

Myth: Only use the ostomy pouching system that you were fitted with in the hospital or doctor’s office.

Fact: In the weeks and months following ostomy surgery, you may find your stoma and body changing. In the first few weeks and months post-surgery, your ostomy pouching system may need to be changed also.

 

Myth: All ostomy products are the same. It doesn’t matter what type of pouching system you wear.

Fact: There are a large variety of ostomy products available to fit the needs of each person living with an ostomy.

 

Myth: Your stoma should not change size a few months after surgery.

Fact: In the weeks and months following ostomy surgery, your stoma may change in size and appearance.

 

Myth: Having skin irritation is a normal way of life with an ostomy.

Fact: If the skin around your stoma becomes damaged, it could be painful and lead to infection. Prevention is the key to maintaining both healthy peristomal skin and your comfort.

 

Myth: If you have an ostomy, your significant other will not love you the same way.

Fact: It is common to have anxiety about relationships following ostomy surgery. Be open and honest with your partner about any concerns you have. Remember, having an ostomy is nothing to be ashamed of.

 

Myth: Odor is a part of life when you have an ostomy.

Fact: You will become more comfortable with your ostomy pouch over time, and will gain confidence in its ability to retain odors.

 

Myth: Now that I have an ostomy, I am no longer able to enjoy the foods I love.

Fact: Right out of surgery, you may be more sensitive to foods than you will be in six months. Slowly add different foods to your diet, and pay attention to your body’s response.

 

Myth: I have a colostomy or ileostomy so I shouldn’t be passing anything from my rectum. 

Fact: The colon or rectum may produce mucus even after ostomy surgery. If you have questions about your output, contact your healthcare professional.

 

Myth: I can’t get my pouch or wafer wet, which means I can’t enjoy water activities or bathe with my pouching system in place.

Fact: You can shower, go swimming, or even get in the hot tub with your pouching system in place. If using a pouch with a filter, cover the filter with the covers provided.

 

Myth: Don’t shower without your ostomy system off.

Fact: You can shower with or without an ostomy system in place.

 

Myth: An ostomy prevents you from wearing stylish, form-fitting clothing. People will be able to see that I have an ostomy.

Fact: Before you had ostomy surgery, did you notice an ostomy pouch on other people in public? Probably not. Try a wrap or special undergarments to help conceal your pouch and increase your confidence.

 

Myth: Insurance doesn’t cover ostomy care, so I am paying out of pocket for my supplies.

Fact: Contact your insurance coverage provider to understand what your insurance plan covers and pays for ostomy supplies.

 

Myth: You should rinse and/or reuse your pouches.

Fact: It is not recommended to rinse or reuse ostomy systems, pouches or wafers. Water can make the barrier break down faster and damage the filter of the filtered pouches.

 

Myth: People living with an ostomy cannot fly, because the cabin pressure can cause the pouch to fail.

Fact: People living with an ostomy can fly, ride in a car, or use any other mode of travel.

 

More information from ConvaTec

Editor’s note: This educational article is from one of our digital sponsors, ConvaTec. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

When an Ostomy Reversal Plan Takes A U-Turn

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By Ellyn Mantell

Setting the scene for you, imagine the patient who has controlled ulcerative colitis or Crohn’s Disease, or diverticulitis and is suddenly terribly symptomatic with infection and unremitting agonizing pain. Or consider the patient who has an accident in the intestinal region of their body. Or the patient who hears the news following a colonoscopy that there is colorectal cancer. Or the patient, like me, whose motility issues have made it impossible for the bowel to function. All of these scenarios are happening every day, all day, in hospitals and households and they all may very well lead to either a colostomy or ileostomy. (I believe a urostomy is always a permanent surgery)

Frequently, depending upon the physicality of the ostomy, a reversal in a matter of six months to a year is either discussed or promised to the patient. It is usually explained that for the connection to heal, it requires that time, and once healed, the reversal is smooth sailing. Except, in many cases, it is not, and that is what I want to bring to your attention, based on the people with whom I have spoken. Please remember, I am not a medical professional, but I interface closely with many patients in many situations, so I speak from my observations.

Sometimes, during those 6-12 months, the sphincter muscles of the rectum stop fully functioning, and the patient may be tied to the bathroom as never before. Or the connection is narrow and there may begin a pattern of bowel obstructions due to the backup of stool. Other times, the surgeon had good intentions for a reversal, but the patient is simply not a good candidate due to illness or stepping out of remission of some disease process.

The reason I am writing this graphic and perhaps uncomfortable blog for many to read is that an ostomy can happen to anyone for a variety of reasons. UOAA estimates there are 725,000 to one million of us in the United States who have ostomy or continent diversion surgery. I want to educate all ostomates that making peace with their new anatomy may be safer and provide a more predictable future than hopes for a reversal. I believe and have heard from others who give ostomy support that those who know they will be an ostomate for the rest of their life tend to be more open to embracing their new body, physically and emotionally. Those who have been given (false, in some cases) hope for a reversal are frequently disappointed and angry, feel betrayed and lose faith they will ever be “normal” again.

Support Groups are a wonderful way to begin to think of the new normal. It is so beneficial to meet like people, learn about appliances, clothing, foods, sleep, intimacy, maintaining health and to simply share experiences. If you cannot find one in your area, contact the United Ostomy Association of America or your local hospital. Take a family member, caregiver or friend if it gives you comfort. I guarantee you will feel empowered by taking this step, whether you are having a reversal in your future, or are embracing your ostomy for life.

Ellyn Mantell is a UOAA advocate and Affiliated Support Group leader from New Jersey. You can follow her personal blog at morethanmyostomy

 

 

 

Dating With An Ostomy

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Don’t Let Your Ostomy Stop You From Dating!

Easing back into the dating scene may feel scary and impossible, it’s normal to want to take your time and get comfortable with your daily routine before tackling dating. It is possible, however, and going on dates might actually help to increase your comfort and confidence.

Finding the Perfect Date Location

When you are ready, choose a location that is familiar to you. If it’s not too far from home and you already know where the restrooms are, you will feel more in control of the situation and it will ease your mind. You can choose to keep the first couple of dates casual and relatively short to ensure your comfort.

You might even want to get together with a close friend who knows about your ostomy and go out shopping for a new outfit, something that will make you feel positive and bold. If the location of the date is unknown to you, use this time to also stop by and get a feel for the environment. It’s fine to want all the information ahead of time so all you need to worry about during your date is seeing if there’s a romantic spark.

Are Things Beginning to Heat Up?

Of course if things are beginning to heat up with someone, you will probably want to think about sharing about your ostomy. Remember that it’s completely up to you when and how to do this. It may be helpful to write down what you want to communicate beforehand to help with your confidence and directness. Feel free to keep it short and then offer to field some questions that your new partner might have. Remember, if a romantic interest can’t accept you as you are, they are not the one for you.

More Resources

If the idea of ostomy sex makes you nervous, it may be helpful to talk to someone who has been down that road before. Speak with someone who has experience living with an ostomy to find out how they navigated similar situations. Your nurse may have information of local networks or support groups. You can start your search to meet others in your situation on our website.

Find our additional information on intimacy and your stoma.

Editor’s note: This article is from one of our digital sponsors, Coloplast. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Reach Out for Ostomy Support

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You are not alone, A Community of Support is Here to Help

By Ellyn Mantell

Upon returning from a day of errands, my hands full of packages and bags of food, the phone rings, and it is a familiar call. It is from a woman who is fighting tears (this I recognize from the many calls I receive) and immediately, bags and packages left on the floor, I go into SUPPORT mode. I imagine this lady has used every bit of determination and perhaps energy she has to call a total stranger to discuss the most intimate details of her health and anatomy. She needs my full and undivided attention, because if I am remiss in that area, she may never reach out for help again. Before we even move past the pleasantries of conversation (hello, how are you?) I know she has been through so much. She will tell me the details, and each survivor is unique, but I already know she is scared, suffering and feeling terribly alone.

This lady tells me she is extremely disappointed because she just discovered that her colostomy, which resulted from the loss of some of her colon, will not be reversed, as she had hoped. It is too dangerous, and her ulcerative colitis is rearing its ugly head. Instead of the reversal, she needs her colon and rectum removed, and will, therefore, have an ileostomy. It has taken her a year, she tells me, to accept what she thought was a temporary colostomy, and now she will need a permanent ileostomy. Not only is her head spinning, but she is feeling like she has lost total control of her life.

These are feelings we all have, and my heart is right there with her as she laments the loss of yet another part of her body. Looking ahead to at least another major surgery, we discuss the fact that she is in mourning and grieving, and then her tears began to flow. I tell her to please cry, sob, let out her feelings, whatever they may be, I am up to the task of listening and comforting. After all, I have had 23 major abdominal surgeries…I have had my share of tears and need for comfort.

We end the phone call with each of us making a promise: she will attend our next Ostomy Support Group at Overlook Medical Center in Summit, New Jersey, and I will be there to listen to her fears and concerns as long as she is in need of sharing them. I told her I wear a flower at each of the Support Group meetings I lead, because I have had so many sent to me over the years and that it is a great way of identifying myself to new members. Flowers always bring a smile to others. She will find me the day of the meeting, because I will be waiting in the foyer to bring her in, make her feel comfortable, introduce her to many like herself, and show her how special she is for reaching out and asking for SUPPORT!

Reach Out to a UOAA Affiliated Support Group near you and learn more about the emotional impact of ostomy surgery.

Ellyn Mantell is a UOAA advocate and Affiliated Support Group leader from New Jersey. You can follow her personal blog at morethanmyostomy

 

Justin Mirigliani’s Story

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Ostomy Strong and Giving Back on the Ice

By Ed Pfueller, UOAA Communications and Outreach Manager

In 2015 things were looking up for Justin Mirigliani. An active father of two, his ulcerative colitis symptoms were in remission. In his free time, he was an avid weightlifter and loved skiing and playing ice hockey.

He probably could have been forgiven if he wanted to skip his yearly colonoscopy, it was his 10th test since his ulcerative colitis diagnosis in 2002. But his doctor made sure he was scheduled, and he went in. It was a decision that likely saved his life. He discovered he had to have his entire large intestine removed due to a severe precancerous condition called high grade dysplasia. A video before his ileostomy surgery shows the raw feelings of this life-changing event and the video below shows his journey to healing and thriving.

Since that surgery on September 24, 2015, he has vowed to do all he can to help others who suffer with IBD and to help remove the stigma attached to those who have a “bag.” Justin is determined to show, through his active lifestyle, that nothing is impossible with an ostomy. Justin has given himself an epic challenge to prove this point. He has continued weightlifting and is trying to become the first ostomate to bench press 405 lbs. You can see this journey documented on his YouTube channel The Strongest Ostomate in the World. (Parastomal hernias are a risk for all ostomates so check with your doctor before starting any exercise regimen.)

Though Justin had developed a small bulge around his stoma very early on, he is careful to complete lifts that do not add excessive internal pressure, like deadlifts or squats. He wears a binder to help support the area around his stoma anytime he lifts anything remotely heavy. In the past four years of heavy bench pressing, shoulder pressing, and bicep work, there has been no change in the bulge around his stoma. So as not to neglect his legs, Justin runs flights of stairs with a weighted vest. As he says, “It’s just a matter of improvising.”

Justin has also given back to the IBD community by creating Checkmates Charitable Association. Checkmates’ main event is a yearly hockey game with NHL alumni. Recently Justin decided to expand his charity’s mission to also benefit the ostomy community. “The UOAA Conference in Philadelphia has definitely opened my heart to wanting to include UOAA and do anything I can to help our community,” Justin says.

In 2020 Checkmates is expanding its mission into Canada by sponsoring a “Disease Without Borders” International NHL Celebrity Hockey tournament with its first game this February in Toronto, Ontario. The winner of that tournament will come down to the U.S. to play the Checkmates team at the Philadelphia Flyers Skate Zone in Voorhees, New Jersey in April. Justin’s ultimate goal is to use this year as the template for NHL Celebrity Hockey games and tournaments throughout cities in the US and Canada.

Justin says of the fundraiser, “We will never stop striving to make the lives of those with IBD and those living with an ostomy the best lives they can be!”

Like any other nonprofit organization, Checkmates is always happy for helping hands. If you are interested in volunteering with Checkmates please contact Justin. Checkmates is also looking for hockey players who want to play on the same ice with NHL stars. Players must be 18 or older, be able to ice skate forward and backward and be able to shoot a hockey puck.

Justin is grateful to his doctors, who saved his life, he and his family created this PSA to warn everyone to get their colonoscopies. Please share it. It just may save a life!

Until IBD has been eradicated and every ostomate is properly cared for, Justin promises that Checkmates will be on the front lines fighting for these communities to the best of its abilities. Justin believes “No matter what, your illness or ostomy will not hold you back!”