‘UOAA Has Been A Lifesaver for Me’ Says New Ostomate

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

When first presented with having a “bag” I was terrified. I had a lot of questions…. How will I wear my clothes? Will I still be able to run or lift weights? Will I ever date again? How can I go to the beach? And so many more. I really was not familiar with this at all.

How UOAA Helps: Connie contacted UOAA before surgery earlier this year and is now on the path to health and happiness in life with an ostomy. Donate to help the next ostomate in need.

I did my fair share of googling, but there are so many conflicting pieces of information out there. I also joined some Facebook groups to find some support.  That proved to be very confusing and often quite discouraging. In February of 2023, a week before my surgery, I met with an ostomy nurse for the first time.  That is when it hit me.  She showed me a practice stoma, put my markings on, and had me look in a mirror with a bag.  I realized I needed more information in order to navigate this the best I can.

Finding UOAA

I came home and searched for ostomy support groups in my area and found one. I immediately connected with them, and they shared UOAA’s information with me. I then went on to their website ostomy.org to gain as much knowledge as possible. I went into surgery with a positive attitude because I knew my life would be so much better afterward.

The people I talked to at UOAA’s office were so helpful! They answered all my questions, and I had a lot!  They directed me to many resources like a New Patient Guide and sent me links to videos and other information which I still use. It is reassuring to know that I can reach out with questions and that they will be there for support.

UOAA has been a lifesaver for me. I was overwhelmed following my ostomy surgery. I am so excited that I am feeling better. I am so appreciative of the connections I have been able to make and the educational materials I have received by contacting UOAA.

On February 23, 2023, I had surgery for an end ileostomy, total colectomy, rectopexy, and hernia and bladder repair. After a lifetime of being a prisoner to my colon and GI tract, a ton of medications, and a ridiculous daily twelve-hour ritual that dictated my days, I finally was given hope to improve my quality of life. The day after surgery I already knew this was the right thing for me, and I somehow felt “free” of all the meds and issues I had before.

Helpful Free Resources

UOAA sent me a welcome packet in the mail with a ton of info about nutrition, living with an ostomy, exercise materials, you name it. The coolest thing was the card to use with TSA when I fly… that is going to be a lifesaver, I think! I had many questions about getting back to my normal activities, and I was sent links to Youtube and even Instagram of people that have ostomies and have resumed, or even surpassed, their pre-ostomy fitness routines.

My experience has definitely been better with my local ostomy group and with UOAA by my side.

A link to an occupational therapist was also helpful. I started following and connecting with many of these people, as I have found inspiration in them. I have since called UOAA several more times seeking answers to my questions, concerns, or even worries. Each time they have promptly responded and provided me with continued optimism as I begin this ostomy journey.

UOAA Helped Me Feel ‘Normal’ Again

I think that the biggest thing is that UOAA helped me to feel “normal” and that I am not alone in this.  Starting out with an ostomy is pretty scary, and there are a lot of unknowns. So much of what you read is negative from people that have had problems or are just very discouraged with their situations. UOAA shares the successes, the positives, and the education so that you can learn and grow each day knowing that you don’t have to give up anything at all.

For me, I plan to get back to my full fitness routine once I am fully recovered. I already feel healthier than I have for so many years.  But I know I still have a lot of learning to do… from appliances (I still can’t figure out the best ones for me), to the different types of foods to eat, to stoma care (I still always want to make sure everything is okay), to traveling, exercise, clothing, wraps, connecting with other people with ostomies, and maybe even dating again in my future. My experience has definitely been better with my local ostomy group and with UOAA by my side.

Grateful to Learn More at the National Conference this Summer

I’m also very thankful to have been awarded a CARES scholarship (FYI, current scholarships have been filled) to attend UOAA’s National Conference in Houston. This assistance will allow me to continue on my journey in a healthy and positive way.

As a single 57-year-old mom, I have three grown children (one still in graduate school), a new granddaughter, and two younger children I adopted, one with unique medical needs – it has not been easy. Last year’s hurricane, coupled with the astronomical surgery costs, have me struggling greatly on a teacher’s salary. I have worked really hard to provide for other people, and I’ve never really done for me.

This conference is something I feel is important for me as I want to be able to live my life to the fullest. I strive to be the best Nana, mom, and person I can be. I want to embrace my body, my life with an ostomy, and continually improve my quality of life.. It will allow me to move forward, make connections, gain much-needed knowledge, be an advocate for myself and others, and to stay “OSTOMISTIC!” 

One day I can even envision myself advocating for others in the ostomy world, being active in the ostomy community, and I would love to get to the point where I can even be an inspiration to others.

Connie, you are already inspiring to those of us at UOAA.

Please Donate to UOAA to put other people like Connie on a successful path.  Support quality of life resources, education and advocacy for people living with an ostomy or continent diversion. United Ostomy Associations of America inc. (UOAA) is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and all donations are tax deductible. Thank you!

Shared by Connie Pollina of Naples, Florida

Telling People About Your Ostomy

, , , , , , ,

It’s been said before, but it is worth repeating: who you tell about your ostomy and when you tell them is completely up to you. This is the first and foremost rule you should keep in mind when it comes to sharing about your ostomy. Most likely others won’t know you have an ostomy unless you bring it up.  If you are reading this before your surgery, you will need to think about what kind of support you are looking for. As you decide to let people in on your new situation, consider who can offer you the support and friendship you need during this time.

Place of Work

There is no right or wrong way when it comes to sharing about your ostomy at work. It might be that no one needs to know about it, it doesn’t affect your work and you are receiving enough support from friends and family and other people outside of work. Or, your situation might be that you need to take frequent breaks to empty your pouch and so explaining a little bit about your surgery will help your employer to understand what’s going on. Again, feel free to be as specific or general as you want. It might even be helpful to write out a small script so you can go into this conversation with added confidence. Decide how much you want to share, and how willing you are to answer questions.

Family and Close Friends

Hopefully, you aren’t trying to go through this life-changing experience alone. Family and/or friends should be the foundation of your support network. Having someone you trust at medical appointments with you can be helpful for your morale, but also to have another set of ears to remember details and information that you may have missed. When you decide to let other people close to you in on the reality of your situation, ask the person who was with you at those appointments to be there to support you. It’s amazing how much more confident we can feel having the energy of a loving and loyal person at our side.

Romantic Partners

If you are in a committed relationship prior to your surgery, then it’s likely they will be informed of your ostomy and the changes to your body. While it can be scary to let people in and tell them about your ostomy, it can be even scarier to be alone in the process. Going through this with a partner by your side can be so beneficial to your recovery process, and can also help to strengthen your relationship.

Dating after your ostomy can seem daunting at first, but as you heal and become more and more comfortable with your new routine, your confidence will grow.  Keep in mind that it’s completely up to you when to tell a new romantic partner about your ostomy. As with your workmates, you may want to take the time to figure out what you want to say before you say it. It’s okay to keep it short and basic and then decide if you want to take some time to answer questions.

Confidence

The more confident and comfortable you are with your ostomy, the more this will show when you speak about it. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself time to heal and get used to the changes and new routine that an ostomy brings. Try to focus on the positive things that having an ostomy surgery has done for you and your body. It may be helpful to speak with others who are in a similar situation.  Talk to someone who has gone before you and find out how they told people about their ostomy.

It’s up to you who you tell, when you tell them and how you do it.

Visit the Coloplast Care site for more information on sharing about your ostomy at work.

 

Information from Coloplast® Care is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice and should not be interpreted to contain treatment recommendations. You should rely on the healthcare professional who knows your individual history for personal medical advice and diagnosis.

Editor’s note: This blog is from one of our digital sponsors, Coloplast. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Life as a Double Ostomate

, , , , , , , , ,

For people who have recently come to accept or are still struggling to manage one ostomy the news that they may need to have a second stoma and pouching system could be overwhelming. Please know you are not alone. Many people are able to thrive in life with two ostomies, or multiple diversions.

When UOAA hears from those with questions for a double ostomate we often refer them to ostomy community friend Jearlean Taylor.  Jearlean wanted to share some advice and invite all double ostomates to her talk and open discussion entitled “Life as a Double Ostomate” on August 12, 2023 as part of UOAA’s National Conference in Houston, Texas.

Sharing with the community of double ostomates is so refreshing and exciting. It is true “we are not alone”. We can live our life as a double ostomate with joy.

I am Jearlean from Baltimore, Maryland. I am a double ostomate, fashion model, author, motivational speaker, entrepreneur, and ostomy advocate.

My life has had some unexpected outcomes. I guess you can say “life” happened. At the tender age of 3 years old I developed a rare form of cancer (Rhabdomyosarcoma). Because of the tumors I had to undergo ostomy surgery, which left me with two permanent ostomies (colostomy & urostomy).

If you or a child come to find you need a second ostomy my advice is to ADAPT. I had to learn to adapt. As I got older it was two major things for me to adapt; body and mind. When we hear two ostomies we get scared, but when we accept what we can’t change it says we are survivors. I adapted to new ways of taking care of my body (ostomies) and keeping my mind positive. Those still adapting to having two ostomies reflect how far you have come and where you are now. Celebrate each moment.

A Common question or statement I get is “you had your ostomies that long. How did you adapt?” The moment I learned to deal with my medical circumstance when my mom explained that I was not different from anyone else. I am beautiful with my bags. I can be, do, and follow my passions and dreams. I can live a full and vibrant life. It happened just as she said. Because of what she instilled in me, I BELIEVED IT.

When we hear two ostomies we get scared, but when we accept what we can’t change it says we are survivors.

Sharing with the community of double ostomates is so refreshing and exciting. It is true “we are not alone”. We can live our life as a double ostomate with joy. We are more than our ostomies.

I also try to give encouraging tips for dressing with an ostomy for comfort and peace of mind. Remember.

  • We are beautiful from the inside out
  • Work with your body type and comfort
  • Look for clothing that YOU like ,and what is comfortable for your ostomies
  • Shopping for clothing; take a family or friend along for support
  • Try on multiple items of clothing, even the clothing in your closet
  • Consider ostomy accessories (ostomy wraps, stealth belt, hernia belt, fitted tops, high waist undergarments, etc..)

We have the ability to make a difference and change lives even through our struggles. You may have an ostomy, dealing with chronic illness, feeling down and inadequate at times, but remember you are more than you have become.  Our situations, challenges, and unforeseen circumstances does not have to dictate who we are or who we can become. My purpose is to inform everyone that “life” happens to us all; good, bad, and indifferent. I want to show people even through our struggles, pain, disease, and even having ostomy we have a purpose in life.

“DIFFERENT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE“

 

You can find Jearlean online at jearleantaylor.com and across social media. Meet her and a whole community of double ostomates at UOAA’s 8th National Conference August 10-12, 2023, In Houston Texas. 

Double Baggin’ It: A Tale of Two Best Friends Without Buttholes

, , , , , , , ,

Written by Danielle Gulden and Joe Teeters

We all know that “laughter is the best medicine”!  This year’s Ostomy Awareness Day Champions, Danielle Gulden and Joe Teeters, not only love that phrase, they live it! These two best friends, and co-founders of Double Baggin’ It are IBD warriors and permanent ileostomates. They’re also comedians, speakers and Two Best Friends without Buttholes!  They truly believe in the power of laughter, humor, advocacy and awareness! Which is why they LOVE Ostomy Awareness Day!  For them, every day is a chance to raise awareness.  But Ostomy Awareness Day is a special day to reflect and celebrate their life-saving surgeries and the lives they were given back! They share their stories so that future, new and veteran ostomates know that they are not alone!

Danielle and Joe have each been living with Inflammatory Bowel Disease for over 29 years.  Although their IBD and ostomy journeys have been quite different, their positive outlook on life and ridiculous sense of humor are the same!

Prior to 2014, Joe and Danielle had no idea the other existed…so, let’s rewind a few decades and learn about the journey of each of these Two Best Friends Without Buttholes!

Growing up, Danielle was a very healthy child, an extremely outgoing teen, and an adventurous free spirit! Spontaneity was her specialty, and travel was always her first love!  Joe, on the other hand, always had “poop problems.” He was always pooping and known as “Joe the Pooper” by his siblings. Like Danielle, he was an outgoing, active, and social teenager.

Fast forward to Danielle’s late teens and early 20s. By the time she was a sophomore at The Ohio State University, Danielle’s health drastically changed! She saw her busy social life dissolve; she’d make plans and have to cancel. Spontaneity was no longer an option, and the idea of traveling was now a nightmare!

Danielle had to drop out of classes because of her poor health.  Her symptoms and pain were becoming harder to ignore. She was in the bathroom around 25 times a day and became extremely malnourished and anemic.

You can hide your bag, but don’t ever let your bag hide you!

After being misdiagnosed for 6 years with a gluten intolerance, a colonoscopy in April of 1999 showed severe ulcerative colitis.  From 1999 until 2007, Danielle’s life was a constant barrage of colonoscopies, radiological tests, bloodwork and pharmaceutical cocktails.   She did the research and finally decided to have ostomy surgery.

After high school, Joe enlisted in the Naval Reserves. He passed the military physical and was cleared for training.  While away, Joe’s poop problems became more pronounced, and the pain was gradually becoming more than just an annoyance.

When he returned home after 5 months, he was in the best physical shape of his life. On the outside he looked healthy, but inside something was wrong. Joe was initially diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome, then a colonoscopy in 1993 lead to his diagnosis of severe Crohn’s Disease. Two years later he had his first intestinal resection. Joe’s Crohn’s continued to advance, and he had a second intestinal resection in October of 2004.

Back in Cleveland, Danielle was super excited for her ostomy surgery! She was ready to stop being a prisoner to her bathroom and get back to living her life to the fullest! On April 30th, 2007, Danielle had her total proctocolectomy with end ileostomy at the Cleveland Clinic. It was truly one of the greatest days of her life! She high fived every single person on the way to the OR.

From day one, she embraced her ostomy, and her new life as an ostomate. Within a month or two of her surgery, Danielle was back to exploring and enjoying her pre-sickness hobbies and joys. She traveled, hiked, camped, swam, went to concerts, and amusement parks. Life was good again! She also joined the Cleveland chapter of the UOAA and eventually became active on their executive board.

Fast forward a few years, and 120 miles away in Columbus, Ohio. Within a year of his second resection, Joe’s rectal Crohn’s disease became severe, and his rectum very strictured.  After consulting with his GI and surgeon, Joe had a full proctocolectomy with end ileostomy on December 27th, 2012.

Joe’s recovery process and post-surgical experience was very different from Danielle’s. In addition to becoming an ostomate, the amount of bowel he had lost from three surgeries left him with Short Bowel Syndrome. It took the better part of a year to fully recover and return to pre-surgery activities.

During Joe’s recovery, a Facebook support group for ostomates became a lifeline. It was a great source of inspiration and hope, and a wonderful place that showed him he was not alone. Later, he sought out Central Ohio United Ostomy Association support group and became a member of the organization.

By now, you must be wondering how the heck these Two Best Friends Without Buttholes finally met.  As you can see, they have traveled separate but similar paths in their battles with Crohn’s and ulcerative colitis.  Their paths crossed in that Facebook support group mentioned earlier, when Danielle posted that she and her family were relocating to Columbus, Ohio. Joe, being a Columbus resident, and fellow ostomate, reached out and introduced himself. After meeting in person, in late 2014, at their local UOAA Affiliated Support Group, they started hanging out after the meetings. They soon discovered that they had a very similar outlook on life and shared a ridiculous sense of humor, and they wanted to use that to help others. A best friendship began…and slowly but surely, their vision for Double Baggin’ It was coming together. They decided to go to the United Ostomy Associations of America’s National Conference in September of 2015. There, after meeting over 400 ostomy patients like themselves, they decided to stop dreaming and start making their vision for Double Baggin’ It a reality. Double Baggin’ It was born, that week, when they filmed their first DBI video on a rooftop in downtown St Louis, Missouri.

Through Double Baggin’ It, Danielle and Joe use their humor, wisdom, and stories to connect with and support other people living with ostomies and Inflammatory Bowel Disease. They advocate and raise awareness at the local and national level for both United Ostomy Associations of America and the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation.  Danielle and Joe also visit with their legislators yearly in Washington, DC to share their voices and stories.

You can find them on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube (@DoubleBagginIt) where you can watch them raise awareness through shenanigans and ostomy-bombing (placing an ostomy bag on a statue, landmark, anywhere they see fit!) They also can be found speaking at IBD and ostomy conferences, support groups, camps, hospitals and classrooms – sharing their stories and spreading laughter through improv. Danielle and Joe know that not everyone is comfortable rocking out with their bags out – and that’s totally ok! What these Two Best Friends Without Buttholes want to make perfectly clear, is that “You can hide your bag, but don’t ever let your bag hide you!”

Join with this year’s Ostomy Awareness Day Champions in spreading awareness by following Double Baggin’ It and UOAA on social media and visiting the Ostomy Awareness Day page to keep up to date on all the latest events.

 

Jessica’s Ostomy Story: Making an Invisible Illness Visible

, , , ,

Words and Photos by Jessica Miles

Living with a permanent ostomy can bring on significant changes in one’s personal, social and professional life. My biggest fear around having my ostomy surgery was leakage, particularly in public, skin breakdown and altered body image. There was a lot of trial and error in the beginning, but I have found what works for me as well as the confidence to share about it. I have always been an empath and very compassionate, however, I have now found a new passion for helping others (through my surgeon and on social media) learn how to manage their ostomy as well as how to cope with their new life. If you are willing and able to adapt, you can do anything!

In 2016, after years of unexplained symptoms, countless procedures, hospitalizations, tests, and a couple of misdiagnoses, it was confirmed that I had a genetic connective tissue disorder caused by a defect in the protein collagen. I was diagnosed with Classical type Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. More than 90% of people with Classical EDS have mutations in the COL5A1 or COL5A2 gene. I have a mutation of the COL5A2 gene. The condition is inherited in an autosomal dominant manner. Treatment and management is focused on preventing serious complications and relieving symptoms.

Classical EDS is associated with skin hyperextensibility, joint laxity, fragile blood vessels, joint hypermobility, migraines, joint and muscle pain. Some individuals with this subtype have a deformity of heart valves and may experience a dilatation of the aorta. In cEDS there is also an increased risk for aortic dissection. cEDS patients are prone to hernias and organ prolapse, as well as comorbidities such as autonomic dysfunction…which regulates heart rate, blood pressure, temperature, pupillary response and digestion.

I ended up having multiple surgeries over the past four and a half years due to intestinal dysmotility, prolapses and hernias, resulting in a port and a permanent ostomy. I now, have an ascending end colostomy. While I prepared for years for the possibility of having one, I realized nothing truly prepares you for the actuality of living with a bag on your belly for the rest of your life. Though little by little, the stigma took a back seat to the reality that life with an ostomy can be just as good, if not better for some, than life without one. I suffered constantly from abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, bloating, constipation, bowel obstructions and malabsorption. While I still struggle with many debilitating symptoms of my disorder, I am now able to eat, gain weight and go to the bathroom regularly. Something I always took for granted until I was no longer able to do so.

My symptoms aren’t usually visible to the untrained eye, but they are life-altering for me.

Though I have a constant physical reminder of my condition in the ostomy, to the rest of the world, mine is a largely invisible illness.

It’s hard to describe how I feel to someone who has no idea what daily life with a chronic illness is like. I feel awful on the inside but look perfectly fine on the outside. Putting on a brave face for all to see has become a habit. My symptoms aren’t usually visible to the untrained eye, but they are life-altering for me.

I’ve learned to take everything step by step and day by day. My goal is to break down the stigma of ostomies, and while it’s not always easy, to show that one can still thrive and live a happy life with chronic illness. Due to pain and fatigue, I’ve learned to budget my energy, and while I may function normally one day, I usually need to rest the next. It’s all about finding balance. I am blessed to have an amazing support system in my husband and two boys, the rest of my family and friends.

For me, photography has been a powerful way to document my health journey and what I experience every day. It helps me see my progress, as well as setbacks in a cathartic way.

I am a registered nurse nationally certified in inpatient obstetrics. Unfortunately due to my illness, continuous surgeries and hospitalizations, I made the most difficult decision of my life and gave up the profession I worked so hard for and one that was a huge part of my identity. I am also an award-winning, internationally published photographer, focusing primarily on birth photography and self-portraiture. I found a new purpose, capturing laboring women and their deliveries combined both of my passions: childbirth and photography.

As a photographer, I believe that art enhances the well-being of individuals, society, and our environment and that artists have the power to heal, inspire, provoke, challenge, and offer hope. For me, photography has been a powerful way to document my health journey and what I experience every day. It helps me see my progress, as well as setbacks in a cathartic way. Photography allows people to see different perspectives and can be used as a tool for personal healing and positive change for many while nurturing creativity and self-expression.

My favorite quote is by the artist, Frida Kahlo. “At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.” I have definitely found this to be true and learned I am much more resilient than I ever thought I was. My illness has caused me to know myself better, which keeps my work honest and true. In the process, you truly meet yourself, which makes for better, more authentic work.

Caring for the Caregiver

,

By Ellyn Mantell

We are at that stage of life where so many in our world are dealing with issues that require care. All are in shellshock! Those who require help were frequently the backbone of their family, their community, their businesses, and suddenly, they need care.  Family members are called upon to play a different role, that of becoming the caregiver with little to no preparation. It rattles everyone, can separate and cause feuds in families, and can go in a very negative direction. But if everyone has their eye on the prize, that of supporting the one in need, there will be an amazing sense of camaraderie, and I believe, much more success. Now, more than ever, people need each other.

I want to share some thoughts with you in the event you or someone you know finds themselves in this situation:

  • Help to create a plan of action, logically and without emotion. Remember to focus on what is best for the patient (or one in need, but we will refer to them as patient) Ask professionals for guidance, but let them know your resources, financially, personally and physically. Bravado doesn’t have a place here…be open and honest. Nobody can do it all, and nobody expects that.
  • Bring family and close friends together and have open conversations about the direction being planned. It is dangerous to assume you know what others are thinking, and it is subterfuge for others to talk without involving you directly. Make it easy for family and friends to come to you, and do not put up a wall. Nobody benefits when that happens and too much time is wasted! Listen, gather information, keep an open mind, and then feel empowered to make decisions.
  • Keep a journal of what is happening to your loved one and yourself. Being mindful of the experience and noticing how you are growing and changing is valuable. It will help with each step you take. These things are most often a process, and not “fixed” on the schedule we desire. Additionally, for the patient, knowing what tests have been performed, the results, in one place, can be invaluable.
  • There are many resources available, but it is a minefield for those who are dealing with the patient. Ask a valued friend or family member to make calls on your behalf or help them navigate the internet. As an Advocate, I receive countless phone calls from family members and friends asking for my guidance. I praise those who reach out on someone’s behalf, and know the patient is so fortunate to have that type of loving concern.
  • Finally, although I could continue for pages, take the Caregiver to lunch, do something special for them, acknowledge all they are doing and the amount on their plate. Call, reach out and do what you can. This is such a trying time, and certainly, we are all aware of our vulnerability. Pay it forward and watch how it helps.

 

Ellyn Mantell is a UOAA advocate and Affiliated Support Group leader from New Jersey. This post first appeared on her blog More Than My Ostomy.

Your Ostomy is Just the Beginning- Part 2

, , ,

By Makeda Armorer-Wade

Who knew that having an ostomy would be such an enlightening journey?

I was terrified. But my ostomy was just the beginning of this new experience for me and my entire family. When I received my first ostomy, it was an emergency surgery. There was no time to prepare, learn or even have a voice. It was life or death, and since I spent the previous three decades fighting for my life, I chose the ileostomy. Up until that point, I knew nothing much about an ostomy, other than I didn’t want one. When I considered that point, I realized it was because of the cavalier attitude of a medical professional, who told me,“what’s the big deal, a lot of people live with ostomies.”

I quickly learned that I had to live that Possibility Lifestyle. I learned that I was in charge of my mindset and could change it at any time with a little motivation. I don’t want to give the impression that it was easy, because it wasn’t. But I would need to learn because I was being discharged. When I got home, I decided to take myself to ostomy school. I did as much research as I could, in order to be able to function and live some quality of a life.

It was very difficult and took about 90 days to get accustomed to my new best friend. By the time I was beginning to accept my ostomy, I was given the date for my takedown. I still had a month to go and I had already lost 100 lbs. I was already counting down. I believe that my biggest challenge with my first ostomy, was the fact that Crohn’s Disease had ravaged my body. So, it wasn’t just the ostomy, but I was so weak and depleted, and unable to absorb any nutrients. At one point, I had a TPN line to feed me.

When the day came for me to go to the hospital, I celebrated and gave away all of my ostomy products to patients that I thought could use them. Simply said, I was done and over it. My recovery didn’t happen as quickly as I wanted, which required me to be patient and work my P.L.A.N.© I needed to Prepare and figure out what my diet would be to help me put some weight on. I was down to 98 pounds. I had to Let go of the shame that I was feeling, realizing that all of this was out of my control. I had to ask for help, because I just didn’t have the strength to do it myself. And I vowed to Never give up, because I desperately needed to live The Possibilities Lifestyle.

I knew that the possibilities for my life were endless, if I could just hold on. I just had to believe.

It took me about 12 weeks to be strong enough to go back to work. I had to believe, that just maybe my doctors and nurses were right. Everyone couldn’t be wrong. The messaging was consistent. “God must have something special for you to do”. Every time I met a new medical provider who reviewed my record, they would say, “Wow you have some story. You must have something important to do, with all that you have been through.” The Residents would ask permission to interview me.

I truly believe that when you receive an assignment from God, you will have the necessary experiences and pressure to become masterful. Just like the pressure needed to produce a diamond. I have learned so much with each surgery and recovery.

Fast forward six years. And here we go again. Crohn’s disease was causing significant problems with my health. After a conversation and encouragement from my gynecologist, I called my surgeon and made an appointment. After numerous tests, we made the decision to move forward with another Ostomy. This time a colostomy. (A colostomy is a surgical opening in the large intestine that is brought through the abdominal wall). This surgery was different, in that I initiated the conversation. I was armed with information and I had some semblance of control. This all matters in your perception of your ostomy.

Climbing the valley after this surgery started like the others, on a walker and a liquid diet. And the determination needed to propel myself forward was there as well. I was looking up knowing I had made the right decision. I began sharing and supporting other ostomates in monthly meetings at the hospital.

The more I encouraged others the better I felt about my own situation.

I began working with a life coach who encouraged me to be kind to myself and set goals that continued to positively impact my recovery and healing. This was the best thing that I could do. I knew from my conversations with ostomates that they needed an adjustment period and continuous support. With everything I shared, she continued to reinforce that my story was no longer mine. She said “do you think you went through all that you did, just to suffer?” My answer was no. I already knew what I had to do. It was all in the Value of the Valley. If you want to know how that turned out, stay tuned.

Your Ostomy is Just the Beginning Part 1

Editor’s note: This educational article is from one of our digital sponsors, ConvaTec. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Navigating Through the Covid-19 Pandemic with Medical PTSD and My Ostomy

, , , , ,

me+ Community member, Sarah Biggart, shares how she experienced feelings of Medical PTSD throughout the COVID-19 Pandemic with her ostomy. Sarah’s blog was written in November of 2020, but remains relevant as we continue to navigate through the Pandemic.

Last Thanksgiving, following a beautiful dinner and a house filled with family and friends, I had to take my Dad straight to the emergency room. After a decline in health, my dad passed in January. The last months of his life had been a slog through the fog; however, saying goodbye was peaceful and everything about his passing brought me peace. It was time. Just as I was emerging from this fog, a new storm was approaching. A virus, spreading globally and forcing bustling cities into lock down: COVID-19.

As a person with a complicated medical history, I was definitely paying attention, and started taking precautions very early to mitigate risk. As anyone who lives with a compromised immune system and chronic illness knows, when we get sick, it can have a way of snowballing.

I was always aware of Medical PTSD, and recognized it in myself. The trauma of long health battles, surgeries and hospitalizations made my fears of the virus very real. I felt more affected by that fear than ever. It can be triggering for me to even smell rubbing alcohol; so smelling the strong hand sanitizers creates a visceral reaction.

When I saw people receiving nasal swabs, it took me instantaneously to having NG Tubes inserted. I could feel it, and I averted my eyes. When I saw images of people laying intubated, I automatically could feel the sensation in my throat. I remember all of those sensations so vividly. They are a part of my trauma.

It’s honestly hard to lay down exactly what this past year has been like emotionally for me. On one hand I am filled with gratitude that I am able to stay safe at home. I work from home, my child participates in remote learning, and although my husband does still go outside the home to work, we have stayed safe and happy in our cozy home. We’ve tried to keep our family traditions and make new memories.

Unfortunately, this year has also been a very bleak reminder of how my health and quality of life hang in a very delicate balance. If I were to get the virus, I have major concerns about my ability to survive. Seeing my community’s complete disregard for the health and safety of those around them has also been disheartening.

I often think about my ostomy supplies. When it became hard to get essentials this Spring, the thought of not having access to the pouches and wafers that I need was especially daunting. What would my life be like if I was unable to pouch my stoma?

Doctors figured out how to create ostomies long before companies like ConvaTec were around to innovate. Hearing stories of ostomates before me who had life-saving ostomy surgery, but could not manage them in a sanitary way, weighs heavy. What would my life be like without my supplies? I think of the pioneering ostomates, using rags and mason jars, and other archaic methods. They were true survivors!

So here we are in November. Instead of a full Thanksgiving table, it will be just the three of us this year. While our country is facing an unprecedented public health crisis, my family will continue to stay safe, stay home and mask up. I wish nothing but peace, health and happiness for all of us.

The Pandemic Tree

Early on, to make things fun we pulled out our Christmas Tree, topped it with a roll of toilet paper and strung up some lights. We crafted ornaments and added them to commemorate milestones and events. It was silly and fun, and for us, all bets were off during quarantine. Our family mantra became healthy, happy and sane, we did what we could to get ourselves there. The Quarantree became a Halloween Tree, and now has transformed into a Fall tree. It continues to make our home feel cozy and festive and truly brings us joy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Editor’s note: This article is from one of our digital sponsors, ConvaTec. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

We All Need Ostomy Friends

, , , , , , ,

Why You Should Join UOAA as an Official Member

By Alyssa Zeldenrust

(National Conference attendee since 2011, DuPage County Support Group (suburban Chicago), Co-Chair of Events for Young Adults)

UOAA friends, educational tools, and vendor fairs have been lifesavers for me, so I’d like to share a bit about why I’m a member and what UOAA has to offer.

United Ostomy Associations of America, Inc. (UOAA) is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that supports, empowers, and advocates for the 725,000 to 1 million of us Americans who are living with an ostomy or continent diversion (like a J-Pouch.) There is no need to feel alone, approximately 100,000 new life-saving ostomy surgeries are performed annually in the United States.

Without UOAA and medically diverse friends, I don’t know where I’d be today.

You can join one of the 300+ Affiliated Support Groups in the U.S. for local peer support and information. Whether you’re new or an ostomy veteran, you can get a lot out of UOAA resources.

I make sure every younger person I see at UOAA’s National Conference is welcomed into our group.

In my personal experience with my local support group, it’s a great way you can make friends who truly understand your situation. If you’re an ostomy veteran, you’re incredibly important to the new members of the group because you can guide them through difficult situations. Local ostomy friends are great because you can do social events in addition to support group meetings. I’ve gone to concerts, dinners, and parties with local buddies and it makes me feel so welcomed because nobody judges my body and we all tend to have a little bit of a dark sense of humor after a few years of illness or surgery.

Everyone should also become an official National Member, there is a membership for medical professionals as well. UOAA offers the National Membership for Individuals for an annual fee of $20.00. As an Individual Member you will receive UOAA’s:

  • National Membership pin and a stoma rose pin
  • Monthly e-Newsletter
  • New Ostomy Patient Guide
  • Plus, you’ll be notified when new or updated educational materials are available.
  • Have voting rights for our national elections
  • Can be nominated to be elected to serve on our Board of Directors
  • Will get a membership packet that includes a special promotion code to subscribe to The Phoenix magazine at a discounted rate.

Joining is also about standing up and being counted for advocacy purposes.

When I was too sick to attend the Run for Resilience Ostomy 5k my parents and fellow support group members made sure I was there in spirit with my face on masks.

Some local support groups host regional conferences that can be great. I had so much fun at the Midwest Regional Conference when I was lucky enough to go, and I left with a bunch of notes and new products to try.

National conferences are usually held every two years (Houston, Texas Aug 11-13, 2022 is next!) and are major events that turn me into a tornado of attempted hospitality. I make it my personal mission to find all the younger crowd and make sure nobody is left out and everyone has a chance to bond outside of the educational sessions. We have fun going all out with the parties and dancing up a storm. One of my favorite things has always been the vendor fair because you always find new things to try, and you can talk to people directly about their product. The educational sessions are so good that sometimes I truly have trouble choosing, so then we split up and take notes for each other.

A few people admitted to me later that they didn’t expect to leave with new, actual friends. That sort of thing just makes my heart happy. Without UOAA and medically diverse friends, I don’t know where I’d be today.

 

A version of this article first appeared on Allysa’s blog Partially Unstuffed

 

 

Support is Crucial

, , , , , , ,

Written by: Brenda Elsagher, Director of Affiliated Support Group (ASG) Affairs, United Ostomy Association of America

Support. I’m not talking about my bra, although it could win an Oscar for a supporting role! I’m talking about the kind of encouragement you get from knowing another person with an ostomy.

I freaked out when I was 39 and had to have a colostomy. I wanted a point of reference and needed to talk to someone who had a stoma. I wanted to know what to expect; I wanted to prepare my body and mind for the changes coming my way. There was no internet and no social media. I didn’t even know there was any other kind of ostomy besides a colostomy.

My Wound, Ostomy, and Continence Nurse (WOCN) was a great source of comfort. She calmly explained, without horror, that excrement (OK, I think she actually said “stool” – and I wouldn’t have used either of those words) would be coming out of my abdomen and into a bag that would somehow adhere to my body.

She made it sound like it would become so natural, as if I was adding a quart of milk to my shopping list. No big deal. You’ll get this in no time at all. And she said all of this with a confident smile – a genuine one, not a fake one like when people are trying to help you through something awful. I felt she meant it! So, I let myself believe her.

During one of my subsequent visits to her office, I saw a newsletter that listed a meeting time for people living with ostomies. I went to the meeting, and realized that this was my tribe. For many attendees, these gatherings were the only ostomy support they had, other than their loved ones who tried to understand but could never quite get it. Besides, here were people I could eat a meal with while talking about changing ostomy pouches. You can’t do that with every crowd! I met life-long friends at those meetings, and that was an unexpected perk.

Then I heard of a conference, the United Ostomy Associations of America (UOAA) national conference, where people came from all over the USA, and some from Canada and other countries too. It featured classes, social events, great speakers, and time to get to know more people with ostomies. A young man I talked to recently told me that he met someone at the 2009 conference who changed his life and made all the difference. If we only knew the power of a quiet conversation and how its impact can be phenomenal. We can be a resource for one another. That’s why I suggest regular telephone check-ins or video calls with UOAA Affiliated Support Groups (ASGs), because both can play a crucial role in helping someone feel connected.

I also found information galore and updates on the latest innovative technology for people with ostomies in The Phoenix magazine (the official publication of the UOAA), which still exists today. Not long after, I got America Online (AOL) and felt like I was on the forefront of technology. I had a computer, and now the internet. Imagine horns blasting – my world opened up and the exchange of information worldwide was awesome. Even more ways to communicate! A woman in Colorado who read my book, “If the Battle is Over, Why am I Still In Uniform,” emailed me, decided to get a colonoscopy, and was spared from cancer. That is a satisfying feeling, to know you gave up a year of your life to write a book and it saved another.

I began to speak across the USA. Who would have thought that 25 years later I am still talking about bowels and butts, or dare I say the lack of them in some cases? The people I have met, the conversations I have had, the opportunities that have come my way – all because I chose to meet with a small group of people. That experience led to an abundance of support, not only for me but for others I know with ostomies or continent diversions, because of all that we shared. Some shared their misery, some shared their success, and some listened, learned, and began to feel that they could deal with their situations. Finding the group was life enhancing, and even life-saving in many cases. I kept coming to help others, but have been helped in return many times over. A phrase that I often heard at the meetings was, “Someone reached out to me in the hospital, and I want to do the same.”

In my new role as the UOAA Director of ASG Affairs, I have come full circle as a volunteer. I meet so many people across the USA that are actively reaching out to others, and helping them on their paths to recovery of mind, body, and spirit. I am their cheerleader. Sometimes I can offer a suggestion or teach them how to use Zoom to stay connected. I have always known that the UOAA had our backs but I have now found so many more resources on their website that I never knew existed. There are over 300 ostomy support groups in the USA for people with ostomies and continent diversions. And for people who don’t like to go to group meetings, there is an individual membership too that gives them full access to an abundance of resources.

There is no right way or wrong way to have an ostomy. You don’t have to shout it out to the world, but there also is no reason to be ashamed about it. I honor your privacy, and thank you for honoring my desire to be public. Both are good. We are alive and grateful!

 

This article originated in the Hollister Secure Start services eNewsletter. For more ostomy resources at your fingertips, subscribe here.

Brenda Elsagher is an author, international speaker, and comedian, and also volunteers with the UOAA. She has been living well with an ostomy for 25 years. Find out more about Brenda at www.livingandlaughing.com, and follow her on Facebook @BrendaElsagher. 

Financial Disclosure: Brenda Elsagher received compensation from Hollister Incorporated for her contribution to this article.

 

Editor’s note: This article is from one of our digital sponsors, Hollister Incorporated. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.