Going Out with IBD and an Ostomy: Finding Confidence Through Solo Activities

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Before my Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) diagnosis at age 17, I always wanted to go to live events: concerts, listening parties, book signings, etc. But as a teen, I knew I held myself back. I didn’t want to look silly by showing up alone, and I’m extremely socially awkward. What if I say the wrong things? Even putting myself back in the thought process makes my skin crawl.

Post-diagnosis and at the beginning of my ostomy surgery process, some of my medical trauma began to manifest as not wanting to be alone. Combined with the social discomfort that fluctuates with an ostomy, like apprehension around leaks, clogged filters, and farts, I created the perfect recipe for opting out of things if I didn’t have a companion.

The summer of 2022 changed things.

I remember being extremely low mentally, in pain, and constantly in and out of the hospital due to a fistula that my doctors hadn’t been able to detect on scans. In that period of isolation, rumination, and reflection, I made a promise to myself that if I ever felt better, I’d take advantage of it and figure out ways to do the things I’ve always wanted to do.

When I was finally healed and ready, I was excited to enjoy some live events, but that didn’t stop the fear and anxiety.

What if I had an emergency? What if I didn’t bring enough ostomy supplies? What if I couldn’t contact my family if I needed them?

I wanted to be safe and really listen to my body. I knew the only way I’d enjoy the experience was if I felt safe and prepared.

Here are some things I find myself consistently doing before, during, and after events that increase my comfort.

My Top Tips for Going Out with IBD or an Ostomy

1. Plan Ahead & Ask Questions

Before making any plans, I have conversations with my medical team and family. Often, they give me insight, reassure me I am physically ok to do certain things, and help me find out more information.

  • ADA Accommodations: I reach out to venues & organizers for ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) accommodations to have plans & contacts in place if I’m not feeling the best.
    • ADA accommodations can look like:
      • Medical/bigger bag allowance
      • Safe snacks & water from home
      • Priority access to seated spaces
      • Chairs while waiting in line
      • & more! I’m still discovering them myself!
  • Safe Foods: I look into food venues and menus to make sure there are safe options for my IBD and ostomy-friendly eats.
    • To avoid gas/cramping/bloating, I generally don’t eat lots of candy, fried/breaded foods, and carbonated beverages.
    • Raw fruits, veggies, popcorn & nuts, if it’s during the morning & I’m not returning home/to my hotel for an extended period.
    • I don’t consume alcohol at all.
  • Bathroom Access: You can map out restrooms when you get to the venue, but if you can find a venue map online, bathrooms should be listed! Having an official bathroom access card from an IBD or ostomy organization like UOAA is helpful, too!

It’s also always nice to have names to reference staff members you’ve been in communication with, especially to build relationships if this is a place you’ll be frequenting. Repeating this process helped build the foundation of my concert review series on social media!

2. Bring What You Need 

I’ve made several videos documenting what I keep in my concert bag, but I’m never leaving without:

  • Supplies to do at least one ostomy bag change, including a fresh pouch, a barrier, adhesive remover spray, and deodorant
  • Hydration drops
  • Pill container
  • Portable charger
  • Wireless earbuds

The earbuds may seem a little odd because they’re not medically related, but in a crowded, noisy area, or if your hands are full, it’s always nice to just pop an earbud in to make a call. Depending on the temperature and venue rules, I also alternate between a handheld fan and hand warmers.

3. Listen To Your Body

For me, having an ostomy didn’t completely resolve my symptoms or “cure” my IBD. While I completely support research that recommends surgeries that may leave patients with a temporary ostomy and increase remission outcomes, I don’t support surgery being described as “the cure.”

Extraintestinal manifestations or “non-gut related symptoms” can still occur, most of which I’m still managing with a combination of medications and mental and physical therapies.

Fatigue, joint aches, dehydration, etc., are all common with IBD, and I’ve learned that a lot of the “prep” happens long before you decide to go somewhere.

  • Dehydration: Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. I know it’s annoying to hear it, but I always feel better if I’m properly hydrated.
  • Joint Aches: If there’s prolonged standing, walking, or sitting, I’m usually opting for some type of compression support on my hands, legs, and arches of my feet to combat any swelling or irritation.
  • Fatigue: Getting enough rest before and after solo activities helps with recovery! Generally, I’m taking things slow 1-2 days before and after each event to support my body as much as possible.

These tips are general, but they aren’t one-size-fits-all. Tweak things to your personal needs and don’t feel bad if you make a few mistakes along the way; you’re human! You should always consult your doctors if you have any questions about anything that could affect your treatment or health.

Embracing solo activities isn’t about being alone constantly. Years into this process, I’ve met some of the coolest people during my solo adventures, and I’m so thankful that I’m working towards being comfortable with just myself.

Having self-confidence that helps strengthen this type of exploration still doesn’t always come naturally to me as someone with IBD and a permanent ostomy, but I feel a lot better knowing I’m prepared!

Kaylaa’ is a Coloplast product user who received compensation from Coloplast to provide this information. Each person’s situation is unique, so your experience may not be the same. Talk to your healthcare professional about which product might be right for you.

Coloplast develops products and services that make life easier for people with intimate healthcare needs. Working closely with the people who use our products, we create solutions that are sensitive to their special needs. Our business includes ostomy care, continence care, advanced wound care, interventional urology, and voice & respiratory care.

Follow Coloplast on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, or visit us online at https://www.coloplast.us/

 

Editor’s note: This blog is from a UOAA digital sponsor, Coloplast. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

UOAA Supports Colorectal Cancer Survivors

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By Cheryl Ory, UOAA President

While advances in cancer treatments rise the news on colorectal cancer has been alarming. Colorectal Cancer is the 2nd leading cause of cancer death in the U.S. and the number one cancer killer of people under the age of 50 according to the American Cancer Society.

The deaths this year of the beloved actors James Van Der Beek and Catherine O’Hara have brought more awareness to colorectal cancer. Hopefully the spotlight during this National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month continues to encourage more people to be screened. UOAA stands alongside partner organizations like Fight Colorectal Cancer to push lawmakers into giving more funding and attention to what is a colorectal cancer crisis.

United Ostomy Associations of America (UOAA) has been supporting cancer survivors and others living with an ostomy for over twenty years so that they can have the best quality of life possible. If your cancer requires life savings ostomy surgery, remember – you are not alone. UOAA estimates that between 725,000 to 1 million people in the U.S. of all ages and backgrounds are living with an ostomy, and over 100,000 ostomy surgeries are performed each year.

UOAA President Cheryl Ory at the Fight Colorectal Cancer United in Blue Rally in Washington, D.C. in 2024.

In 2008 I was diagnosed with Stage 3b colorectal cancer. I was told the cancer had been developing for at least 10 years or more, most likely when I was in my early 30’s. There was a polyp, if it had been removed at an earlier date the cancer would not have developed. After radiation, chemo, surgery, and more chemo I am now a colorectal cancer survivor with a permanent colostomy, an ostomy that has saved mine and others lives from not only cancer, but other debilitating diseases.

If you are a person still at risk, like those with IBD, let me urge you to get screened. Screening can result in any colorectal cancers being found earlier when they are easier to treat.

Every individual person’s disease treatment is unique but ostomy surgery for colorectal cancer may mean a temporary ostomy, ileostomy (from the small intestine) or colostomy (large intestine). This may be required to give a portion of the bowel a chance to rest and heal. When healing has occurred, the colostomy can often be reversed and normal bowel function restored.  It’s important to know that not everyone with an ostomy will be a candidate for a reversal operation. A permanent colostomy may be required when a disease affects the end part of the colon or rectum.

We have two guides written from a patient’s perspective, Living with a Colostomy and Living with an Ileostomy, to help you learn as much as possible before and after you have this life changing surgery.

It’s especially important to connect with one of hundreds of  UOAA Affiliated Ostomy Support Groups in the U.S. before, or shortly after, your surgery. Even online peer support and preparation can put you on the path to success in what may be a challenging time both emotionally and physically.  Ask if the hospital has a certified ostomy nurse and insist on having your stoma placement marked before surgery. These and other self-advocacy tools are paramount and outlined in our Ostomy Patient Bill of Rights.

You may feel too overwhelmed as you are discharged at the hospital to fully understand ostomy pouching systems and accessories and lifestyle considerations.

As you recover, if you have a descending or sigmoid colostomy you may want to ask your doctor or ostomy nurse if you are a candidate for colostomy irrigation. I utilize colostomy irrigation, which is similar to an enema, as a way to have control over my output schedule that fits my lifestyle. UOAA seeks to raise more awareness for the practice and encourages medical professionals to discuss this treatment option with patients who may benefit.

If you have a  medical question contact your doctor or ostomy nurse. If you need help finding an ostomy nurse use or our outpatient ostomy clinic finder or make plans online with a virtual ostomy clinic. If you have a quality of life question-UOAA resources here at ostomy.org and peers at UOAA Affiliated Support Groups likely have the answers.

It’s important to learn the facts about living with an ostomy. After the healing period outlined by your surgeon you can swim, bathe, be intimate, travel, and embrace a new normal life. After some trial and error, you may also eat most of the foods you have been able to eat in the past. Education is key to battling misinformation.

Unfortunately misinformation and stigmas surrounding both ostomy surgery and colorectal cancer affect the number of people getting screened or getting the medical treatment they need.  Let’s work together to educate, advocate and support survivors.

 

Cheryl Ory is a colorectal cancer survivor who received a permanent colostomy in 2008. Cheryl is a Registered Nurse who has had a passion for volunteering with the ostomy community ever since and first joined UOAA’s Board of Directors in 2015. She now holds the position of President.

 

 

 

Tips for Choosing the Right Ostomy Supplies

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Navigating the world of ostomy products and supplies can feel overwhelming, but finding the right system and products are crucial for comfort and security.

The appropriate pouch is determined by a number of factors says certified ostomy nurse Linda Coulter. “First the pouch must be appropriate for the type of stoma and

A nurse selects ostomy product samples donated by a wide variety of manufacturers for the stoma clinic at UOAA’s 9th National Conference.

output (e.g. don’t use a urostomy pouch for a colostomy/ileostomy and vice-versa). Stoma characteristics such as size, protrusion, and surrounding contour (e.g. scars, creases, bulges, etc.) also affect pouch choice.”

Other factors, such as an individual’s lifestyle and dexterity play a role.

Here’s some helpful tips whether you are just out of the hospital or you’re having new issues and wondering if you should try something new.

Get Professional Help and Sample Supplies

  • Always consult with an ostomy nurse first for information and recommendations tailored to your body and stoma type. If you’re having trouble with your current system, such as skin irritation or recurrent leaks, ask them to help you find a solution and assist in getting it prescribed. Find an ostomy nurse available in-person or virtually or an Outpatient Ostomy Clinic near you.
  • Remember that every person is different, and you need to find what works best for you. People in online discussions don’t always say their ostomy type ileostomy, colostomy, urostomy and that is key to know what type of supplies to use.
  • Expect some trial and error. It’s common to try several types of products until you find what works best. You can request product samples from manufacturers or a supplier that works with your insurance company. Talk with members of a UOAA Affiliated Support Group, many have a supply closet where members share excess supplies.

Picking an Ostomy Pouching System

You’ll hear the terms appliance, ostomy pouch system, ostomy pouch, or ostomy bag. They are all just referring to a device consisting of pouch and a skin barrier (wafer, baseplate or faceplate) that sticks to and protects the skin around the stoma.

Understanding the terminology will help you communicate your needs effectively. “When possible, patient preference is taken into account for things like 1-piece vs 2-piece systems, clear vs opaque pouches, and pouch brand,” says Linda Coulter, BSN, RN, CWOCN.

Types of ostomy bags or pouches ileostomy

  •  One-piece system: The skin barrier/wafer and pouch are pre-attached. When you change the pouch, you change the whole thing (including the barrier).
    Why people choose it: Simple application and use, low profile under clothing, hernia or bulge near stoma, affordability.
  • Two-piece pouching system: A two-piece system lets you change the pouch while keeping the skin barrier/wafer in place. The pouch attaches to the barrier through a flange/coupling (often a snap-style ring or possibly an adhesive connection).Why people choose it: Versatility. Can easily switch between higher capacity or shorter pouch. Allows pouch to be changed more frequently than the skin barrier. Skin barrier stays in place while pouch is changed, best for higher stoma output, skin sensitivities, fast pouch changing.

Types of Urostomy Pouches

Pouch Closures

  • Drainable (open-ended): You can empty these while they are still attached. Colostomy or ileostomy pouches: use tail closures or separate plastic
    Colostomy Bag One-Piece

    Colostomy Pouch One-Piece Closed End

    clamps/clips. Urostomy pouches (urine): use a valve or “tap closure”. As the name implies, high-output pouches are designed to hold larger volume ileostomy output (rarely colostomy) and have tap closures.
    Why people may choose it: Have output throughout the day requiring pouch to be emptied 3 or more times per day, quick and easy to empty.

  • Closed-end: These are sealed at the bottom and typically discarded after one use. They are most commonly used by colostomates who have regular elimination patterns or can irrigate. Insurance usually covers up to 2-closed pouches per day.
    Why people may choose it: Can remove and throw it away, no draining or clamps.

Other Pouch Choices

Pouch options can include filtered (for automatic gas release and odor) or unfiltered (best with thick stool). Clear pouches are available to monitor output or color and opaque pouches for those who prefer not to see it. A variety of sizes are available depending on output and lifestyle. Urostomates often attach their pouch to an additional drainage bag or container at nighttime.

Skin Barriers

Picking the best skin barrier is critical since it protects the skin around the stoma and enables a secure seal and fit. Your choice depends on your stoma, output, and other factors, such as sensitivity. Frequent changers may ask about gentle adhesion options while those with liquid output may require a stronger adhesion. If your stoma size is changing or oval you may want to get cut-to-fit or moldable skin barriers while, if it is stable and round, pre-sized are a convenient option.

  • Flat: Flat barriers sit level on the skin. Why people may choose it: When the stoma sticks out, pouching with hernia or creases.
  • Convex: Refers to a curved skin barrier (or a system/insert that creates this curve) which helps press inward on the skin next to the stoma. This can help the stoma protrude outward, which helps output go into the pouch instead of leaking under the barrier. There are a variety of depths and flexibilities available.
    Why people may choose it: When the stoma does not stick out enough, or soft tissue, skin folds/creases.

Ostomy Accessories

Depending on the person and stoma type, accessories include products such as cleaning wipes, adhesive removers, stoma powder (pectin-based, non-medicated), stoma paste or barrier ring (provides a seal around the stoma), stoma belt, scissors, wafer extenders, skin protectant wipes, and lubricating deodorant. These products can improve wear time, skin condition, and overall pouching experience.

Ask an ostomy nurse what may be helpful for you.

Keeping Track of it All

Know Your Ostomy Supplies Checklist

Know your ostomy pouching system and supplies. Once you’ve found the supplies working best for you be sure to keep track of the names, sizes and order numbers. Download the UOAA Know Your Ostomy Supplies Checklist tool to have handy as you work with your ostomy nurse, doctor, supplier or insurance to get the ostomy pouching system and accessories you need.

 

 Blog by Ed Pfueller, UOAA Director of Strategic Communications with medical review by Linda Coulter, BSN, RN, CWOCN

Learning from Leaks: Tips for Staying Prepared and Positive on Your Ostomy Journey

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It happens…Speaking with Ostomates in many stages of their Ostomy journey is the best part of my role at Ostomysecrets®. A frequent topic, and cause for concern, is the dreaded LEAK. My answer is always the same, they happen to all of us; however, they should be few and far between.

Well, it happened to me. I have had my Ostomy for over twenty years, I measure time in between leaks in years at this point, not months, days or weeks. My record is five years, and I had been on a streak of almost two years.

I live in Southern California, and my husband’s side of the family lives in Las Vegas, NV. When I was first recovering from surgery, I worked very hard with my home health nurse to independently manage my ostomy so that we could make the drive to Vegas for my first Thanksgiving as an Ostomate. I reached that goal, and we had a successful trip.

We make this journey 2-3 times a year, up the Cajon Pass, across the Mojave and into the shining city of neon in the middle of the desert. I have never had any issues with my ostomy during these travels, and we’ve had so many fun adventures through the years: swimming in fancy hotel pools, attending shows and concerts, hiking, dining, stargazing and maybe a bit of gambling too.

Last week, we made the drive to Las Vegas again. I typically get 5 days wear time, so I changed my pouch the day before we left. My plan was to change my pouch again before heading back to California. In Barstow, CA – the halfway point of the journey – we stopped for a quick dinner planning to quickly get back on the road to Las Vegas. Then our plans changed.

Something did not feel right, and I discovered that my pouch had leaked. All my ostomy confidence drained from me. I tried not to panic and to focus on finding a solution. This was not an optimal situation, but Barstow is a crossroads town featuring a number of Truck Stops. I love a road trip, and something I know to be true about Truck Stops is they have showers! We happened to be right in front of one of these truck stops, so I walked in, paid my $18 and waited my turn.

My husband helped me get my suitcase, and my trusty me+ Starter Kit that I always carry my supplies in when I travel anywhere overnight. I will always be a better safe than sorry girl, and I would never leave home overnight without my supplies.

In that moment, standing in the Truck Stop shower waiting area, I was feeling very vulnerable and had tears in my eyes. I let the attendant know I was having a medical issue, and that my husband would be coming in with me to help. She immediately opened a shower for me, and got us extra towels. I was so comforted by the kindness of strangers and their willingness to make it a little easier for me.

I showered, completed my pouch change, got myself together and we got back on the road. I was rattled and feeling all of the emotions of what had just happened. The story I share, and what I know to be true, is that my Ostomy saved my life. Even in this low moment, that truth remains. When I was battling my Ulcerative Colitis diagnosis, at my worst moment, I was going to bathroom 45 times a day. Travel, road trips and adventure were just not possible; I was just too sick.

As we finished the drive through the desert, I felt doubt and anxiety creeping in. We had a big family pool party the next day, and I was worried that the remaining supplies that I had would not be enough. Would I ruin my family’s trip?

I had to quiet those thoughts. Why would this trip be any different that the countless other trips? Why would I have pouching issues? My Convatec pouching system has served me well all these years. It helps me to feel freedom and confidence to complete the adventures I so enjoy.

We ended up having a wonderful weekend! I slept soundly in our hotel bed, I swam with all of the cousins at our family BBQ, we dined out and explored The Vegas Strip. My pouch held up, working as expected and intended, and I achieved my typical five-day wear time – even with the 110 degree desert heat and pool time.

Our ostomies don’t just save our lives; they enable us to live full and happy lives. We thrive because of our ostomies and the pouching systems we rely on, not in spite of them.

My comment still stands: leaks happen to all of us, sometimes. If you are experiencing frequent leaks, please call our Convatec me + team and certified ostomy nurses. They are available to you by phone at 1-800-422-8811.

Editor’s note: This blog is from a UOAA digital sponsor, Convatec. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Finding Your Way: The Journey Forward with an Ostomy

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By Ted Leamy

This piece is adapted from my closing talk at the 2025 UOAA Conference held in Orlando Florida. Think of it as a last walk around the conference neighborhood before we all went home — with a few of my own observations.

I’m Ted. I’ve been living with an ostomy 43 years. I work in live production events — sound engineering & sound design for concerts and large sporting venues. My career has taken me all over the country and around the world.

At the start of the conference, I talked about how much it means to keep moving forward — even when the rules of the game seem to have changed. How our stomas are not just physical. They change how we see ourselves. Our sense of Self.

Having an ostomy doesn’t disqualify you from much. It demands a different kind of presence to lead the life you want. And that’s what I think we’ve all seen this week in the sessions and in conversations.

For me, the heartbeat of this conference is in the quiet moments — in the hallways, at breakfast, sitting in the lounge between presentations. That’s where appreciation happens — not just of new facts, but of each other.

Body Literacy

Many people get to move through their day without thinking much about their body — grab coffee, rush to work, sit in meetings. That seems normal if your body is working fine. We ostomates don’t get that option.

With an ostomy, you’re pulled into your body constantly. You are checking, you are aware. You know exactly what you ate recently.

This is sometimes referred to as ‘body literacy’ – the ability to read your own body’s signals and patterns. It’s a skill that gets better with practice. You learn to recognize subtle signs before they turn into problems. You understand your personal normal.

Medical stability is the foundation everything else builds on. Without it, you’re just trying to survive. With it, you can start thinking about what comes next.

I used to think this constant awareness was just another burden. Needless to say, I wrong. Now I think body literacy is one of my most valuable life skills. I notice things now I would have missed before… the taste of good coffee, a great conversation, the feeling of a successful day where everything just worked.

Presence and Appreciation

When you have experienced uncertainty through the lens that we have, you gain appreciation for ordinary moments. Not because you’re trying to be grateful – because you actually are.

People talk about mindfulness like it’s something you have to work toward. For us, it’s just another day. We live it by necessity, not by choice. No expensive spiritual retreat with gurus required.

This kind of presence can get exhausting at times, even border on hyper-vigilance. But kept under control, that presence is valuable body literacy — lessons we can transfer to all aspects of our lives.

For me: it has made me feel more alive. When asked what it’s like living with an ostomy for forty years, part of what I say is it taught me how to be present in my life instead of just racing quickly through it.

Three Stages of the Ostomy Journey

Over time I’ve noticed the journey with an ostomy isn’t one continuous road. It shifts, and it has stages. Understanding where you are in these stages can help make sense of current challenges and hint at what might be next in life.

I think of it as three stages:

1. Getting medically stable
2. Becoming functionally independent
3. Learning to flourish and thrive

First things first. You can’t do much until you’re medically stable. This is about listening carefully to your doctors, managing complications, or recovering from a procedure.

When leaving the hospital after one of my surgeries, when asked how I was feeling, I would joke: “I’m upright, I’ve got pants on, and I’m taking nourishment by mouth.”

That was my humorous way of saying I was medically stable. On my way home.

Medical stability is the foundation everything else builds on. Without it, you’re just trying to survive. With it, you can start thinking about what comes next.

Wanting to flourish is being human. It’s honoring the life you were given by actually living it fully.

Becoming functional is about being proficient in looking after your stoma and appliance. It’s creating a new daily routine that includes all your other hygiene and ‘get ready’ rituals. Getting comfortable in this whole new world.

When you are functional, you become grateful. Functional is a big deal! You can leave the house without mapping every bathroom. You can eat dinner with friends. You can sleep through the night with minimal interruptions.

But here’s what happens sometimes. You get functional, and it feels so secure that you lock yourself in. You find your safe foods, your reliable routines, your predictable schedule. Too predictable?

The problem is when functional becomes your ceiling instead of your floor. Does this make sense? Have you been there? I have. Most of us have, I think.

Flourish and Thrive

Let’s talk about moving from functional (stage 2) to flourishing (stage 3).

Flourishing is what you want out of your life — not in spite of your ostomy but in fact because of your ostomy and the life-saving consequences that got you this far.

Flourishing is when you stop asking “Can I do this with my ostomy?” and start asking “Do I want to do this?”

It’s when your ostomy becomes just one part of your life, not the organizing principle of your existence. It’s when you stop apologizing for your limitations and start celebrating your capabilities. It’s when you stop planning around your ostomy – and start planning around what you want out of life.

Sounds easier than it is to do! When we get functional, there are loud applause from friends, family, and doctors. We too are excited. Except we are people. And just being stable, then functional, is not enough. We want to thrive and flourish and become the person we imagine ourselves being.  That’s where the gap shows up — the space between functional and flourishing.

Mind the Gap

There is a gap between being functional and flourishing. We can be so pleased with being functional that we decide to stay in that mode — never pushing forward, never trying new things, never creating new adventures that self-doubt warns against.

Sometimes we get lost in that gap. You’re no longer a patient, but you’re not quite thriving either. It’s easy to feel disoriented, questioning if wanting more is worth the risk.

If we want more, are we ungrateful for what we have? Deep question. I say no.

Thriving is the aspiration. However it looks for each of us, that’s the direction forward.

Being grateful for your medical stability and functional independence doesn’t mean you have to stop there. You can be thankful for what you’ve achieved AND still want to grow, explore, and push your boundaries.

Wanting to flourish is being human. It’s honoring the life you were given by actually living it fully.

The ostomy journey is not a straight line. Circumstances will sometimes force you backward. What matters is finding your way back — regaining functionality, and taking that leap of faith toward flourishing again.

Inspiration Without Comparison

It’s things like this conference that show us what life could look like. Encourages us to keep moving forward. Whatever stage of the journey you find yourself.

When you see someone else thriving — really thriving — it expands your sense of what’s possible for yourself. But careful about comparing. We are all on a unique journey, each of us at different stages — not just in our ostomy journey but in our life journey.

The 19th century playwright Oscar Wilde said: “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”

Closing Reflections

Each of us knows our own life better than anyone else.  We’ve already been carrying our courage forward every day — showing up here only made it more visible. That same courage is what lets us reach for more. Thriving is the aspiration. However it looks for each of us, that’s the direction forward. And whatever tomorrow brings, we already carry what it takes to keep moving toward it.  Thanks for spending time with me.

Ostomy Anxiety: Horror in the Grocery Store?

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By Robin Glover

Wallet, cell phone, keys…I’ve always had my essentials when I leave the house. But for the past several years, I’ve added something else to my checklist: ostomy supplies.

When you have an ostomy, you have to be ready for anything. The instant fill, the gas attack, and of course, the leak. Oh, the dreaded leak. It can happen anytime. Or, so it seems. But does it really?

I have this image in my head of catastrophe. There I am, in the middle of the grocery store aisle, my bag has completely fallen off as I stand in a puddle of stool that’s splashed across the floor while output shoots out of me like an over-the-top 80’s horror movie as I stand petrified, children crying out and everyone staring and pointing in disgust.

It always seems to be fear that holds me back more than my ostomy.

I mean, pretty worst-case-scenario stuff. But, it’s hard not to go there. Imagine, worrying about poop (or pee for urostomates) coming out of a hole in your stomach. Like, your front. Where everybody sees. This isn’t some “oopsie” you can pretend never happened. This is a big ol’ brown or yellow stain on the front of your shirt. And nobody’s been drinking coffee.

But is this image even real? I do have a tendency to imagine the worst. Some may even say it’s a talent. My therapist calls it a “cognitive distortion.”

In reality, I’ve had leaks in public. And that’s all they’ve ever been – leaks. Small little leaks that can be covered with tape until I’m able to get to a good spot. In the rare case (two times), it’s been a bigger leak, I was still able to get home and take care of it.

So, it’s fear more than reality. I’m scared of being embarrassed in public due to my ostomy bag. It’s a common fear. Everyone is afraid of being embarrassed. It’s a deep-rooted fear. But my ostomy seems to add a lack of control. I can control things like what I wear and how I act, but I have this stoma with a mind of its own.

It’s like having that “one friend.” Sure, they’re great at home when no one else is around, but take them out in public and you have to constantly worry about what they say. Or, perhaps what they ”blurt out” without warning. (However, unlike a loud friend, you are allowed to use tape to control ostomy pouch leaks).

My ostomy (ileostomy) is permanent. I will have it for life. I need to improve my relationship with it. One way I’m doing that is by being prepared. That’s really all I can do. Before I go somewhere, I check to make sure it’s good. Check the seal. Check the stoma. I now use ostomy pouches with a see-through window just for peace of mind.

I try to carry tape with me everywhere I go. It’s simple athletic tape, but it seals leaks and I can add a lot if need be. That I put in my pocket.

In a smaller bag/sweet fanny pack, I have extra precut ostomy bags, disposable bed pads (brand new, out-of-the-box, they’re very thin and easy to fit into a small bag), ostomy paste, paper towels (I use blue Scott Shop Towels because they’re soft and extra absorbent), and extra trash bags (the ones that come with the pouches). I have everything I need for a quick change. If I’m going somewhere where I’m a little worried I might not be able to find a place to change fast, I carry a backpack with more supplies and a complete change of clothes.

I try to carry tape with me everywhere I go.

More than that, I’ve been working on “decatastrophizing” before I even leave the house. Instead of simply imagining the worst, I think about the realistic possibility of it actually happening. I’ve worn an ostomy pouch for over four years and have never come close to the disaster I envision. It’s basically physically impossible for the bag to simply fall off. Every part of the wafer would have to come loose at once. Plus, I typically wear an ostomy wrap (and just got an ostomy belt). So…not going to happen.

There might be a leak. But I’ve got that handled. I’ve handled it before. It’s not a big deal.

It always seems to be fear that holds me back more than my ostomy. That’s good news, though. Because while I can’t control what comes out of me and when, I can control how I deal with my anxiety about it.

Robin Glover is a writer based in the Houston area. He has a permanent ostomy after being diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease in 2017.

4 things everyone should know about ostomy bags

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You’ve heard the myths about ostomy bags. They’re smelly. Leaky. A dreaded last resort no one would ever choose.

These myths—old, untrue, and stubborn—keep stigma alive. They tell a story that says ostomy bags are something to hide. Something to be ashamed of. Something to avoid or pity. Fueling careless jokes and bleak portrayals, the myths strip away the complexity of ostomy life and reduce it to a sad, lonely struggle.

But ostomy bags are not tragedies. They are not cheap punchlines or secrets to carry in shame. For 725,000 to 1 million people in the United States alone, ostomies are lifelines—tools of survival and symbols of strength. Ostomies make it possible for people to keep living when illness, injury, or pain have tried to take that away.

It’s time to change the conversation. Here are four things everyone should know about ostomy bags and the people wearing them.

1) Myth: An ostomy is a worst-case scenario.
Truth: An ostomy may save and improve lives in ways people don’t often expect.

Ostomy surgery is often framed as a tragedy. Some say they’d rather die than have one. Others insist they could never live like that. Others still tilt their heads with misplaced sympathy: I’m so sorry you have to wear that. Is it temporary?

Underneath these comments is the unspoken belief that an ostomy is a fate so grim, it should be avoided at all costs.

But here’s what people don’t see: An ostomy can give life back. For so many, it means meals without pain or fear. Days without the clench of needing a bathroom now. The relief of a body no longer ruled by urgency, accidents, and the constant worry that public outings will end in embarrassment.

For those with Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis, an ostomy may be what breaks the relentless cycle of flares, medications, and hospital stays. For those with colorectal or bladder cancer, it can be a turning point in removing disease and reclaiming the body. For these and so many other people—those with diverticulitis, traumatic injuries, congenital conditions—an ostomy can be a doorway to fully living.

This isn’t about pretending that life with an ostomy is perfect. It’s about telling the whole truth. Yes, an ostomy can change things. Yes, there may be moments of frustration, doubt, or grief. But for so many ostomates, there is also freedom, relief, and possibility.

And that is anything but the worst.

2) Myth: Ostomies are only for older people.
Truth: Ostomies are for anyone who needs them, from babies to the elderly.

When people hear the word ostomy, they may picture this: an older person in a hospital gown, frail and confined to a bed. But ostomies aren’t just for old age, and they certainly aren’t just for hospitals.

They are for living—for anyone whose body needs a different way forward.

Ostomies are for:

  • The baby born with a condition requiring immediate intervention
  • The toddler whose parents mastered ostomy bag changes before potty training
  • The child with a backpack of homework, snacks, and ostomy supplies
  • The teenager balancing WOC appointments with school, friendships, and first dates
  • The new parent learning to care for a baby while relearning to care for themselves
  • The professional navigating a medical curveball at the height of their career
  • The grandparent chasing after grandkids, refusing to slow down
  • And yes, older individuals who have lived through it all

Ostomies belong to every age and every stage of life. When we widen the lens, we find them at playgrounds and in boardrooms, at first dates and family vacations, in classrooms and grocery store aisles.

We create space for anyone with an ostomy who wonders if there’s someone out there like them. We show them the truth: no matter their age, no matter where they are in life, they are not alone.

3) Myth: No one will love you with an ostomy.
Truth: Love is so much bigger than a bag.

Many ostomates fear they’ll never find someone who sees beyond their ostomy bag. The questions linger between swipes, dates, and hesitant disclosures. When do I bring it up? How will they react? They wonder if the moment they say ostomy bag, there will be an awkward pause and silent calculation that it’s just too much.

Some wish they had fallen in love before surgery—so they wouldn’t have to explain. So the love would already be there, solid and secure. So they wouldn’t have to brace for the moment someone sees the bag and decides whether they can “handle it.”

Even those in relationships may wrestle with doubt. Will my partner still want me? Still find me attractive? Can I trust when they say that this doesn’t change anything?

An ostomy adds another layer to intimacy and relationships. Some potential partners do flinch. Some hesitate. Some don’t know what to say, or they say the wrong thing, or they give a look that stings. (This is stigma in action.)

But love—the kind worth having—is not that fragile. It is not scared of an ostomy bag. And there’s more of that love out there than people think.

People find love at every stage of their ostomy journey. Some before surgery, with partners who sit beside them in hospital rooms, proving that for better or worse isn’t just a phrase. Others after, when they are finally well enough to show up fully in their lives—embracing a love that doesn’t come despite the ostomy, but because of the space it created for healing and wholeness.

Bag or no bag, love is about connection—truly seeing and being seen. And the partners of ostomates prove every day that it’s actually not about looking past the bag at all. They see the bag. They honor it. Not as an obstacle, but as a mark of their partner’s resilience, vulnerability, courage, and strength.

And those are qualities worth loving.

4) Myth: You can tell if someone has an ostomy bag.
Truth: With the right products and care, ostomies often go unnoticed.

People with ostomies are everywhere: at work, at the gym, on dates, in line at the coffee shop. Chances are, most people have met someone with an ostomy without ever realizing it. They’ve stood next to them, shook their hands, shared a laugh—and never knew.

That’s because ostomy bags are not what people think. They’re not open or exposed. They’re not constantly leaking odor or waste in public. In fact, many ostomy bags don’t even resemble the crinkly, medical-looking pouches of the past. Today, there are options designed for discretion and comfort. Sight, sound, scent? All covered. Most of the time, an ostomy is invisible unless the person wearing it chooses to share.

For those who do experience leakage or complications with their ostomy, or just prefer an extra layer of discretion, there are options. A change in products or routine, a wardrobe shift—adjustments that restore comfort and control because people with ostomies aren’t meant to live in constant worry. If someone wants discretion, it can be theirs.

The truth about ostomy myths

Ostomy myths don’t just mislead; they shape lives. They seep into conversations, assumptions, and even the way people see themselves. They chip away at confidence, making it harder for those with ostomies to fully show up in their lives. They feed fear in those facing surgery, delaying care and prolonging suffering. And for everyone else, they can reinforce the dangerous idea that some bodies are more worthy than others.

An ostomy bag doesn’t shrink a person’s worth. It doesn’t make them any less strong, less capable, or less deserving of love and respect.

Because a person with an ostomy is not their bag. No matter who they are—no matter when, how, or why they got their ostomy—they are so much more.

 

Coloplast develops products and services that make life easier for people with intimate healthcare needs. Working closely with the people who use our products, we create solutions that are sensitive to their special needs. Our business includes ostomy care, continence care, advanced wound care, interventional urology, and voice & respiratory care.

Follow Coloplast on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, or visit us online at https://www.coloplast.us/

Author’s note: This blog primarily uses the term “ostomy bag” to reflect how the author describes her own pouching system—a functional, everyday part of her life. While the intent is to reclaim the word “bag” from its negative associations, we recognize that others advocate for alternative terms like “ostomy pouch.” Whenever possible, please ask those with ostomies about the language they prefer. 

Editor’s note: This blog is from a UOAA digital sponsor, Coloplast. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

 

Christmas with an ostomy, all wrapped up

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By Convatec

We want to help everyone in our ostomy community have a wonderful holiday.

So, we’ve put together this guide to share our top tips. In our 12 ways of Christmas, you’ll find advice about everything from stocking up on supplies to eating and drinking in moderation. If you have a child with an ostomy, you’ll find tips on how to prepare for Christmas day. You’ll also find our Accessories Wish List, featuring our most popular accessories.

12 Ways of Christmas

The countdown to the big day has begun. To help you prepare, we’ve put together our 12 ways of Christmas. Share your tips on our social media channels using the hashtag #OstomyHoliday

1. Stocking up

Now’s the time to order more ostomy products if you haven’t already done so.

2. Get wrapping and packing

If you plan to travel, make a checklist of everything you need to pack or better still, pack an overnight bag now.

3. Eat, drink and be moderate

Avoid the risk of bloating or even a blockage by enjoying your favorite foods in moderation.

4. It’s all about the bubbles

Remember champagne, sodas and other carbonated beverages can cause ballooning and indigestion.

Check out our top ostomy nutrition tips here

5. Add Accessories to your wish list

The holiday break is a great time to give ostomy accessories a try. If you’ve got an ileostomy, give Diamonds™ Gelling Sachets a try – just pop one in your pouch to thicken your output and reduce gas.

6. Beware of what’s hidden in the dessert

If you’re one of the few who enjoy fruitcake, be aware of the ingredients and which might cause irritation.

7. Marshmallows aren’t just for S’mores

Many people with an ileostomy find that marshmallows are a great way to quickly thicken output.

8. Enjoy it

Sometimes the holidays can be stressful, even without an ostomy! Being knowledgeable and prepared can ensure you have a great time.

9. Dreaming of holiday food?

From a vegetable overload to rich, spicy foods, the holiday menu is packed full of potentially gas-inducing foods. Many people find they can enjoy these foods in moderation. And remember, if you’re at someone else’s house, it’s not rude to refuse.

10. Don’t expect the Santa Express…

If you’re traveling by land, air or sea, there’s likely to be a limited service. So, it’s a good idea to keep a supply of pouches and supplies within easy reach, just in case.

Check out our top travel tips for ostomates here

11. Stay hydrated

It’s tempting to hope that all that soda and eggnog is keeping you hydrated, but in reality, the opposite is more likely to be true. Alcohol is a diuretic, so if you decide to indulge a little, make sure to also drink plenty of water.

12. Take it easy the day after

Whatever day you celebrate on, it can be hugely fun, but also tiring. So be sure to plan to rest the day after.

Let’s make it all about stockings, not pouches: holiday tips for children with an ostomy

We all want our kids to wake up on Christmas morning (not too early!) thinking about their stockings, not their ostomy pouches. Best of all, there are things we can do as parents to help.

Plan ahead

You’ve already got so many things to think about, so it’s a good idea to make a checklist. Have you got enough supplies? If you’re going away, have you packed a bag?

Eat ahead

It can be a good idea to give your child bland food a day or so before a big holiday feast, to compensate for any overload the day of.

Sleep easy on Christmas Eve

You’re likely to already have an established bedtime routine. If so, try making it a bit earlier so you and your child are not rushed. Remember, to minimize the risk of leakages, avoid eating too close to bedtime and make sure the pouch is completely empty.

Wrap the mattress in a plastic sheet

If you’re not already doing so, get wrapping! A plastic sheet is easy to clean, avoiding any unnecessary upset.

Editor’s note: This blog is from one of our digital sponsors, Convatec. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Discarding Pouches Discreetly But With Dignity

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Lynn Wolfson, UOAA Director

As ostomates, we often feel self-conscious in public but deserve the same respect as anyone else. We don’t want to be singled out or face discrimination because of our ostomies. However, we also have a responsibility to leave a positive impression on others and the places we visit.

Recently, while flying, I had an unusual interaction with an airline attendant. Before I entered the restroom, she approached me to ask if I needed anything. Though her inquiry seemed strange, I assured her I was fine. After I left the restroom, she asked if I had disposed of any bodily waste in the trash. I was surprised by the question and said I hadn’t.

As a teacher, I saw this as an opportunity for education. I asked the flight attendant why she had asked such a personal question. She explained that she had noticed my ostomy through my clothing and that her grandmother had also had an ostomy, often discarding used bags in the trash without proper disposal. Her concern clarified her question. While the inquiry was inappropriate, it underscored how improper ostomy hygiene can reinforce negative stereotypes.

I explained that her grandmother likely had a colostomy, while I have an ileostomy with a drainable pouch. I suggested that her grandmother should have used a disposable bag, like a grocery or Ziplock bag, to seal or knot before disposal. This practice helps reduce mess and odor and allows ostomates to discreetly dispose of their pouches. It’s important for all ostomates to follow this practice at home, in others’ homes, and in public spaces. Many manufacturers provide plastic bags with the pouches for this purpose.

It’s crucial for us to carry or request a bag for disposing of our ostomy pouches and to knot these bags before discarding them.

For new ostomates, if you find yourself in a public restroom without disposal bags, wrap your used pouching system in toilet paper and place it in the wastebasket. To minimize odors, consider using one of the many deodorizers available from ostomy supply providers. Some deodorizers are drops that can be added to the bottom of the pouch, while others are air freshener sprays.

To minimize splashing when draining a pouch, try sitting backward on the toilet seat and placing toilet paper in the bowl before draining. It’s worth noting that at past UOAA conferences, hotels have commented on how clean and hygienic UOAA groups are for their cleaning staff compared to the general public.

Following my experience, I’ve advocated with the airline to consider adding a universal sign in the lavatories to provide guidance on the proper disposal of medical supplies. It would be beneficial if airplane restrooms included bags for this purpose, which could also be used for baby diapers, sanitary napkins, and tampons.

In summary, it’s crucial for us to carry or request a bag for disposing of our ostomy pouches and to knot these bags before discarding them.

Managing the Challenges of Pancaking

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By Janet Stoia Davis RN CWOCN FCN and Janice C. Colwell APRN, CWOCN, FAAN

 

What is pancaking?

For a person with a fecal stoma, emptying an ostomy pouch can at times be slow, messy and frustrating—especially if they find that stool is stuck at the top of the pouch around the stoma. When stool is thick and dry, a phenomenon called pancaking may occur. Thick stool exiting the stoma that does not fall to the bottom of the pouch can form into the shape of a pancake at the top of the pouch, hence the term “pancaking”.

Why can pancaking be a problem?

Thick pasty stool can remain over the stoma, making its way under the pouch adhesive and potentially lifting the adhesive/pouch. When this occurs, the stool contacts the skin around the stoma causing leakage. This leakage can damage the peristomal skin, lift the pouch from the skin, and result in odor and seepage of stool onto clothing.

Who is at risk for pancaking?

Anyone with a fecal stoma can experience pancaking, but it is more common among people with a colostomy. Colostomies are created in the colon or large intestine (they are given two, names which confuses people, but they are one and the same). The colon’s job is to absorb or “suck” water out of the intestinal contents, and as stool travels through the colon it becomes thicker. By the time it reaches the final section of colon on the left side of the body, it can be pasty and dry. Many colostomies are created on the left side of colon, making the stool pasty, dry, and thick. When stool is expelled from the stoma, it may not move away from the stoma, getting stuck at the top of the pouch leading to pancaking.

Individuals with ileostomies can also experience the challenges of pancaking, but it is less common and will depend on the consistency of their stool. In some cases, form-fitting clothes may constrict the pouch and flatten the stool, preventing it from falling to the bottom of the pouch.

What can be done to decrease instances of pancaking?

For some people, increasing fluid intake can make the stool less thick and pasty, which may allow it to travel away from the stoma and drop to the bottom of the pouch. Stool softeners can be taken orally to increase the moisture content of the stool which may also facilitate the movement of the stool into the bottom of the pouch. If an individual’s clothing fits snugly over the pouch, wearing a looser fit may also help decrease the incidence of pancaking.

Some pouching systems have a built-in filter that helps air escape the pouch and deodorizes the gas. However, if the filter removes all air from the pouch, it may create a suctioned environment that makes it difficult for stool to slide to the bottom. A sticker for the gas filter (provided with some pouches for underwater use) or a piece of tape over the filter may help avoid the vacuum effect in the pouch. This will vary by individual.

The use of an in-pouch lubricant can facilitate the movement of stool away from the stoma and into the bottom of the pouch. These lubricants can be applied to the inside of the pouch one or more times per day. This creates a slick surface on the inner lining of the pouch to help thick stool slide to the bottom of the pouch and prevent it from pancaking over the stoma. Lubricants can be used in both drainable and closed end pouches.

In addition to pancaking reduction, a lubricant may also make pouch empties faster and cleaner. Several companies make lubricant that can be used in the pouch. A new company, Revel, has placed special emphasis on pancaking and drain time reduction. Revel created a new type of lubricant using a technology called LiquiGlide that creates a long-lasting slippery surface on the inside of the pouch. Their product, It’s in the Bag, can last up to 24 hours, alleviate pancaking, and decrease pouch drain time. This product has been used by people with a fecal stoma who reported a decrease pancaking and emptying time as well as leaving behind an overall cleaner pouch.

Revel is a proud sponsor of United Ostomy Associations of America and dedicated to creating products that make significant improvements in the lives of ostomates. To learn more, visit https://revelostomy.com/

 

Editor’s note: This blog is from one of our digital sponsors, Revel. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.