Gloria the Phoenix

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Remembering Gloria by Bob Kwiatkowski

Gloria and I met by chance in November of 1969. I was driving with a friend down 8 mile road in Detroit. Gloria was with two of her friends in a car that passed us by. We caught up and started flirting with them.

I asked if they would want to meet us at a popular pizza place in Detroit.

We were surprised that they did meet us there. While my friend talked to Gloria’s two friends I talked to her. Within minutes I thought “I want to Marry this girl” She bowled me over.

We went out every day afterward and three days later, I asked her to marry me. She said “Yes but I have to tell you something, I have an ostomy.” Gloria went on to explain that she was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis at six years old. She said that she spent a lot of time worrying about where the bathrooms were, what she ate, etc. her sisters said that she was always in and out of a Children’s Hospital.

She was later properly diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. She said the surgery totally changed her life for the better, she put on weight was able to eat things she never could before. I didn’t fully understand it but I told her that if it saved her life, it was sure worth it.

Embracing Life

She was her senior class President, the first female class president. She graduated with Honors from Wayne State University and she worked for the Michigan Cancer Society for over forty years (later renamed the Karmanos Cancer Institute)

We married in 1971 and had 54 totally awesome years together.

I loved and was blessed with a wonderful women– who just happened to have a stoma.

She was so much fun. We both loved live music and attended over 100 concerts in life. She was my concert buddy.

We’re big Detroit football fans and have had Lions season tickets for 45+ years. Gloria was my Lions Football buddy.

I learned about Rolf Benirschke’s organization in the Phoenix Magazine. We were huge fans. We watched many of his games as an NFL placekicker. I was able to contact and talk to him and it is great to see all he has accomplished since.

Medical Challenges

Gloria had 28 major surgeries in life, breast cancer, a total hysterectomy, and many stoma revisions including one in 2000 at the Cleveland Clinic. Peritonitis twice, nothing ever got her down, she was always positive. Always joking with the doctors and nurses prior to and after surgery.

Gloria always worried about everyone but herself. She had four sisters and they’ve all been healthy, Gloria told me she was glad that she got everything rather than her sisters.

She loved UOAA and the Crohn’s and Colitis foundation. She volunteered with the local chapter in her younger days.

Caregiving

Luckily, I learned how to change her ostomy pouch. Gloria was in and out of hospitals in her last year, she died from a fungal infection that did not respond to anti-fungal’s. Gloria was on Imuran for 30 years, it really helped with Crohn’s flair ups but infectious disease Docs felt it allowed the fungus to roost in her body. The fungus was first spotted in one of Gloria’s lungs in 2022, Dyflucam took care of it but was not effective when it returned in 2023/24.

What really surprised me was the lack of knowledge concerning ostomies by nurses and aides. I would often return to the hospital and rehab center at all hours to help her change, to empty her pouch etc. I considered it an honor to be able to help her. Not everyone was like that. Nurses told me there is not much time spent in Nursing Schools regarding ostomies and their care.

I joined a private Ostomy Facebook group and it deeply saddens me that folks have such a negative attitude there toward life with an ostomy. Our life together was awesome, and she was an amazing wife, and I think people should know their lives are not over.

A Phoenix

Gloria was a huge Harry Potter fan and she loved “The Order of the Phoenix” a secret organization that fights evil. I ordered a shirt with their crest and asked them to change the date from 1971 to 1967, the year Gloria had her surgery she always said it saved her life. She considered “67” to be her lucky number.

It’s great to be able to recognize Gloria in UOAA’s Phoenix Society  and with a donation in her honor, advance a mission of ostomy education, support and advocacy.

We also LOVED the Phoenix magazine and will miss it, but think she would be pleased that this article could be something positive for other ostomates to enjoy.

May wife had many medical issues during her life but she faced each challenge with a smile, joking and always positive.

She was always there for me and loved by many. There were over 200 people at her funeral. We’re Catholic and I consider Gloria my greatest blessing in life by far.

I loved and was blessed with a wonderful women– who just happened to have a stoma.

Finding Community, Purpose, and Voice After Colorectal Cancer and Permanent Colostomy

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By: Sandra James, ACSW

Instagram.com/@colostomyforever

www.youtube.com/@SandraJames-LivingIt

When I was diagnosed, the first emotions that hit me were disappointment, confusion, and shame. I had spent months believing hemorrhoids were the only source of my problem. There were no other symptoms at first that would alert me outside of hemorrhoids, and when I saw the blood, I attributed it to hemorrhoids and something common and manageable. Cancer never crossed my mind. I never imagined that something as serious as colorectal cancer was there quietly invading my body without my knowing. When the diagnosis came, it felt disorienting. I kept replaying the past in my head, wondering how I missed it, how something so big could have been there while I carried on with my life.

When people asked what kind of cancer I had, I struggled to say the words out loud. Saying it was in my rectum felt heavy, embarrassing, and deeply shameful. I found myself wanting to deflect, minimize, or avoid the conversation altogether. That shame added another layer to the confusion and disappointment I was already carrying—an emotional weight I never expected to come with a diagnosis.

I had no one I could sit across from, look in the eyes, and say, “Do you understand this?”

After my diagnosis, my medical team gave me pamphlets and printed materials explaining my condition and treatment such as colostomy surgery. The information was thorough and medically sound, but it wasn’t what I needed at that moment. I wasn’t looking for a curriculum or clinical language—I needed to understand what was happening to me right then, in real life. What helped me most was hearing from real people.

Sandra at UOAA’s 2025 National Conference in Orlando.

I spent long stretches of time watching videos on YouTube where people openly shared their cancer journeys, their fears, their side effects, their recoveries, and their lives beyond diagnosis. Some had their own YouTube channels. Others were featured on platforms like The Patient Story. Watching them helped me process what I was facing in a way pamphlets couldn’t.

While YouTube helped me feel less alone in the early days of my diagnosis and treatment, it didn’t fully replace the need for real, human connection. I didn’t know anyone in my immediate community who had an ostomy. I had no one I could sit across from, look in the eyes, and say, “Do you understand this?”

At some point, I came across another ostomate on social media who mentioned the United Ostomy Associations of America (UOAA) National Conference. I remember feeling something shift in me when I heard about it. It felt like an invitation — not just to an event, but to belonging. I registered, booked a flight, and went — not fully knowing what to expect, but knowing I needed to be there. Those three days became one of the most meaningful experiences of my entire cancer journey. From the moment I arrived, I felt an overwhelming sense of familiarity and ease. I was surrounded by people who felt like they had known me my whole life, even though we had just met. There was no shame, no need to explain myself, no awkwardness. Just understanding. UOAA’s conference wasn’t simply educational — it was grounding. It wasn’t just supportive — it was life-sustaining. For the first time since my diagnosis, I felt whole again. Not fixed. Not “back to normal.” But grounded in who I was becoming.

From Watching to Sharing: Why I Started My Own Channel

The realization to start my own channel came while I was writing my book, My Colorectal Cancer Journey. By the time I reached chapter two, I understood that telling my story solely through a book would take time — time that many people facing a new diagnosis surgery simply don’t have. I remembered how desperately I needed immediate connection and reassurance, and I knew I wanted to offer that same immediacy to others.

Starting a YouTube channel felt less structured, more human, and more accessible. It allowed me to speak honestly, show the realities of ostomy life, and create space for conversations that often don’t happen elsewhere — conversations about fear, shame, stigma, resilience, and growth.

My channel wasn’t created to educate in the traditional sense, even though many people now describe it that way. It was created to connect. To say, “You’re not alone,” without conditions or explanations. To show what life can look like after diagnosis, after surgery, after everything changes.

The same connection I once searched for, I now try to offer — one video, one conversation, one shared moment at a time.

View a selection of Sandra’s videos at the links below and look for her unique perspective on UOAA’s YouTube Channel soon!

Caring for My Stoma: What Works for Me

My New Travel Bag: What I Take with Me

My New Reality Bag Change: Living with a Permanent Colostomy Bag

The Truth About Living with an Ostomy Bag (Myths vs. Facts)

How to Measure Your Stoma

UOAA Supports Colorectal Cancer Survivors

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By Cheryl Ory, UOAA President

While advances in cancer treatments rise the news on colorectal cancer has been alarming. Colorectal Cancer is the 2nd leading cause of cancer death in the U.S. and the number one cancer killer of people under the age of 50 according to the American Cancer Society.

The deaths this year of the beloved actors James Van Der Beek and Catherine O’Hara have brought more awareness to colorectal cancer. Hopefully the spotlight during this National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month continues to encourage more people to be screened. UOAA stands alongside partner organizations like Fight Colorectal Cancer to push lawmakers into giving more funding and attention to the what we see as a colorectal cancer crisis.

United Ostomy Associations of America (UOAA) has been supporting cancer survivors and others living with an ostomy for over twenty years so that they can have the best quality of life possible. If your cancer requires life savings ostomy surgery, remember – you are not alone. UOAA estimates that between 725,000 to 1 million people in the U.S. of all ages and backgrounds are living with an ostomy, and over 100,000 ostomy surgeries are performed each year.

UOAA President Cheryl Ory at the Fight Colorectal Cancer United in Blue Rally in Washington, D.C. in 2024.

In 2008 I was diagnosed with Stage 3b colorectal cancer. I was told the cancer had been developing for at least 10 years or more, most likely when I was in my early 30’s. There was a polyp, if it had been removed at an earlier date the cancer would not have developed. After radiation, chemo, surgery, and more chemo I am now a colorectal cancer survivor with a permanent colostomy, an ostomy that has saved mine and others lives from not only cancer, but other debilitating diseases.

If you are a person still at risk, like those with IBD, let me urge you to get screened. Screening can result in any colorectal cancers being found earlier when they are easier to treat.

Every individual person’s disease treatment is unique but ostomy surgery for colorectal cancer may mean a temporary ostomy, ileostomy (from the small intestine) or colostomy (large intestine). This may be required to give a portion of the bowel a chance to rest and heal. When healing has occurred, the colostomy can often be reversed and normal bowel function restored.  It’s important to know that not everyone with an ostomy will be a candidate for a reversal operation. A permanent colostomy may be required when a disease affects the end part of the colon or rectum.

We have two guides written from a patient’s perspective, Living with a Colostomy and Living with an Ileostomy, to help you learn as much as possible before and after you have this life changing surgery.

It’s especially important to connect with one of hundreds of  UOAA Affiliated Ostomy Support Groups in the U.S. before, or shortly after, your surgery. Even online peer support and preparation can put you on the path to success in what may be a challenging time both emotionally and physically.  Ask if the hospital has a certified ostomy nurse and insist on having your stoma placement marked before surgery. These and other self-advocacy tools are paramount and outlined in our Ostomy Patient Bill of Rights.

You may feel too overwhelmed as you are discharged at the hospital to fully understand ostomy pouching systems and accessories and lifestyle considerations.

As you recover, if you have a descending or sigmoid colostomy you may want to ask your doctor or ostomy nurse if you are a candidate for colostomy irrigation. I utilize colostomy irrigation, which is similar to an enema, as a way to have control over my output schedule that fits my lifestyle. UOAA seeks to raise more awareness for the practice and encourages medical professionals to discuss this treatment option with patients who may benefit.

If you have a  medical question contact your doctor or ostomy nurse. If you need help finding an ostomy nurse use or our outpatient ostomy clinic finder or make plans online with a virtual ostomy clinic. If you have a quality of life question-UOAA resources here at ostomy.org and peers at UOAA Affiliated Support Groups likely have the answers.

It’s important to learn the facts about living with an ostomy. After the healing period outlined by your surgeon you can swim, bathe, be intimate, travel, and embrace a new normal life. After some trial and error, you may also eat most of the foods you have been able to eat in the past. Education is key to battling misinformation.

Unfortunately misinformation and stigmas surrounding both ostomy surgery and colorectal cancer affect the number of people getting screened or getting the medical treatment they need.  Let’s work together to educate, advocate and support survivors.

 

Cheryl Ory is a colorectal cancer survivor who received a permanent colostomy in 2008. Cheryl is a Registered Nurse who has had a passion for volunteering with the ostomy community ever since and first joined UOAA’s Board of Directors in 2015. She now holds the position of President.

 

 

 

10 Tips for Intimacy with an Ostomy

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Life with an ostomy can stir up deeply vulnerable questions: Will anyone love me like this? Does my ostomy bag make me unattractive? How can I be intimate while managing it? These anxieties often settle in the quieter corners of ostomy life, where many ostomates fear their bodies may never be chosen or desired.

Chloe Olsen has spent her whole life learning what it means to live with an ostomy. In this blog, she draws on more than 20 years of lived experience to share an honest perspective on connection, communication, and confidence. Her insights offer reassurance, perspective, and a reminder to fellow ostomates that they are worthy of love without conditions.

10 tips for intimacy with an ostomy (from a 20+ year ostomate)

Unlike most other ostomates, I never had a “before my ostomy.” I didn’t have to relearn intimacy because I’ve had an ostomy my whole life. This means I learned intimacy with an ostomy bag—first crushes, first touch, first relationships. For me, there was no “before my ostomy” to mourn—just figuring things out in real time like everyone else.

This is the only body I’ve ever been intimate in. Every version of intimacy I’ve ever known has included my ostomy bag. And that’s why I know you don’t owe anyone everything.

This topic in particular is especially important to me because I didn’t grow up seeing bodies like mine being desired or sexualized. I had no idea what intimacy would look like for me because there wasn’t anyone like me out there talking about it. After a lifetime of trial and error, of tender moments and of ones I’d rather forget, I’m sharing my tried and tested intimacy tips for any ostomate who needs straightforward honesty—not sugarcoating.

  1. You don’t owe anyone your medical history.

When meeting someone new, we can sometimes feel obligated to share our medical past. Don’t forget—you get to decide when and how much you share. There were times I would over-explain out of fear, thinking clarity would protect me. It didn’t—boundaries did.

You are not obligated to provide any details you don’t want to share, and this includes any questions you don’t feel comfortable with. A simple explanation is enough.

  1. You get to decide when to tell someone about your ostomy.

The pressure of this used to weigh on me a lot. If I didn’t tell someone soon enough, I would feel as if I were lying to them somehow, like keeping this secret from them was a form of deception. But if I told them right away, it would sometimes change their view of me—or even the way they treated me.

My advice: if you really like someone, tell them about your ostomy bag as soon as possible, as soon as you feel comfortable. Personally, I would always tell them right away, because I find it to be an excellent detector of who isn’t meant to be.

  1. Phrasing is important. Confidence is everything.

If you do decide to tell your intimate partner about your ostomy, your own attitude can make the biggest difference. If you frame it as something positive, like that it gave you your life back, they probably will too! But if you say, “Now I’m forced to live with this for the rest of my life!” it gives your ostomy a negative connotation, and they may be more likely to react negatively as well.

I know it’s easier said than done, but confidence really is everything! If you go in with no fear, as if your ostomy is no big deal, it likely won’t be a big deal to them either.

  1. If someone is uncomfortable, it’s not a reflection of your self-worth.

Not everyone handles it well, and learning not to internalize those reactions took time. But over time, you learn the difference between curiosity and discomfort—and you stop internalizing reactions that don’t belong to you.

Discomfort doesn’t mean you’re undesirable. It means they’re not equipped for your body or your honesty—and that’s not yours to fix.

  1. One-night stands are NOT off the table.

This is one of the biggest things I wish someone had told me! Having only known ostomy life, I let the stigma surrounding it convince me that one-night stands weren’t possible for me—but that’s actually the furthest thing from the truth. Hearing from my close ostomate friends a little bit older than myself, I learned that it’s actually not a big deal. Although it can be scary at first (how would this random stranger react?), one-night stands with an ostomy are not harder, just more intentional. Only share what’s necessary, and prep more so you can think less.

Most importantly, make sure you feel safe. Believe it or not, your ostomy will likely not be their primary focus—in fact, they may not even notice it at all.

  1. Communication is key.

Intimacy isn’t mind-reading, it’s communication—and that goes both ways. At first, I didn’t know how to communicate effectively during intimacy. Partners would assume they could accidentally “break” my bag or hurt me somehow. I learned to speak up for myself through trial, error, and a lot of unlearning silence. Don’t be afraid to just tell them, “I’m not fragile,” or educate them in the moment so they feel comfortable. Communication doesn’t ruin the moment—it makes it possible, and more enjoyable when they better understand your body.

And if they don’t want to take that extra moment of care, then maybe they aren’t worth your time and energy, and that’s your choice to make. Remember—you can always back out or say no.

  1. Prep is not unsexy.

Emptying your ostomy bag beforehand, wearing something that makes you feel secure, maybe even putting on a fresh bag—all these extra steps we take are just taking care of your body, an important part of intimacy. I know it can detract from the spontaneity, but take it from me, you don’t want to risk having a leak during an intimate moment—major mood killer.

Trust me, it’s worth taking the extra time—having peace of mind changes everything.

  1. The right intimacy doesn’t make you feel like your body is a problem.

I’ve felt the difference between being accommodated and being wanted. And once you feel the latter, you stop settling for the former. For too long, I stayed in unhealthy relationships because I didn’t think I deserved better. I believed I was “defective” or “damaged,” and therefore not in a position to be picky or stand up for myself. It took a while, but once I let myself believe that I was worthy to be loved the way I wanted, I never looked back.

You’re not something to tolerate, work around, or “get past.” You’re not less deserving because of your ostomy. You’re the body someone gets to be close to.

  1. Desire without shame.

I grew up feeling a lot of shame around my body, not because of my ostomy, but because of what I was taught to believe about it. In navigating intimacy, I’ve learned that it’s okay to crave it, and it’s okay to communicate your needs.

Desire doesn’t disappear because you have an ostomy or disability—it adapts, like everything else.

  1. There’s no “right” way to do this.

Reminder: You don’t owe intimacy to prove confidence, healing, or normalcy. There’s no timeline for feeling ready. Confidence with intimacy isn’t a finish line. It shifts with age, partners, energy, and life. And that’s normal—ostomy or not. It comes with time and learning to be comfortable in your own body before you can be comfortable with someone else.

If you’re just learning intimacy in your body—you’re not behind, you’re doing it.

Find more support for intimacy with an ostomy on Instagram and in Coloplast’s free e‑book, The Ostomate’s Guide to Intimacy.

Coloplast develops products and services that make life easier for people with intimate healthcare needs. Working closely with the people who use our products, we create solutions that are sensitive to their special needs. Our business includes ostomy care, continence care, advanced wound care, interventional urology, and voice & respiratory care.

Chloe is a Coloplast product user who received compensation from Coloplast to provide this information. Each person’s situation is unique, so your experience may not be the same. Talk to your healthcare professional about which product might be right for you.

Follow Coloplast on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, or visit us online at https://www.coloplast.us/

 

Editor’s note: This blog is from a UOAA digital sponsor, Coloplast. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Tips for Choosing the Right Ostomy Supplies

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Navigating the world of ostomy products and supplies can feel overwhelming, but finding the right system and products are crucial for comfort and security.

The appropriate pouch is determined by a number of factors says certified ostomy nurse Linda Coulter. “First the pouch must be appropriate for the type of stoma and

A nurse selects ostomy product samples donated by a wide variety of manufacturers for the stoma clinic at UOAA’s 9th National Conference.

output (e.g. don’t use a urostomy pouch for a colostomy/ileostomy and vice-versa). Stoma characteristics such as size, protrusion, and surrounding contour (e.g. scars, creases, bulges, etc.) also affect pouch choice.”

Other factors, such as an individual’s lifestyle and dexterity play a role.

Here’s some helpful tips whether you are just out of the hospital or you’re having new issues and wondering if you should try something new.

Get Professional Help and Sample Supplies

  • Always consult with an ostomy nurse first for information and recommendations tailored to your body and stoma type. If you’re having trouble with your current system, such as skin irritation or recurrent leaks, ask them to help you find a solution and assist in getting it prescribed. Find an ostomy nurse available in-person or virtually or an Outpatient Ostomy Clinic near you.
  • Remember that every person is different, and you need to find what works best for you. People in online discussions don’t always say their ostomy type ileostomy, colostomy, urostomy and that is key to know what type of supplies to use.
  • Expect some trial and error. It’s common to try several types of products until you find what works best. You can request product samples from manufacturers or a supplier that works with your insurance company. Talk with members of a UOAA Affiliated Support Group, many have a supply closet where members share excess supplies.

Picking an Ostomy Pouching System

You’ll hear the terms appliance, ostomy pouch system, ostomy pouch, or ostomy bag. They are all just referring to a device consisting of pouch and a skin barrier (wafer, baseplate or faceplate) that sticks to and protects the skin around the stoma.

Understanding the terminology will help you communicate your needs effectively. “When possible, patient preference is taken into account for things like 1-piece vs 2-piece systems, clear vs opaque pouches, and pouch brand,” says Linda Coulter, BSN, RN, CWOCN.

Types of ostomy bags or pouches ileostomy

  •  One-piece system: The skin barrier/wafer and pouch are pre-attached. When you change the pouch, you change the whole thing (including the barrier).
    Why people choose it: Simple application and use, low profile under clothing, hernia or bulge near stoma, affordability.
  • Two-piece pouching system: A two-piece system lets you change the pouch while keeping the skin barrier/wafer in place. The pouch attaches to the barrier through a flange/coupling (often a snap-style ring or possibly an adhesive connection).Why people choose it: Versatility. Can easily switch between higher capacity or shorter pouch. Allows pouch to be changed more frequently than the skin barrier. Skin barrier stays in place while pouch is changed, best for higher stoma output, skin sensitivities, fast pouch changing.

Types of Urostomy Pouches

Pouch Closures

  • Drainable (open-ended): You can empty these while they are still attached. Colostomy or ileostomy pouches: use tail closures or separate plastic
    Colostomy Bag One-Piece

    Colostomy Pouch One-Piece Closed End

    clamps/clips. Urostomy pouches (urine): use a valve or “tap closure”. As the name implies, high-output pouches are designed to hold larger volume ileostomy output (rarely colostomy) and have tap closures.
    Why people may choose it: Have output throughout the day requiring pouch to be emptied 3 or more times per day, quick and easy to empty.

  • Closed-end: These are sealed at the bottom and typically discarded after one use. They are most commonly used by colostomates who have regular elimination patterns or can irrigate. Insurance usually covers up to 2-closed pouches per day.
    Why people may choose it: Can remove and throw it away, no draining or clamps.

Other Pouch Choices

Pouch options can include filtered (for automatic gas release and odor) or unfiltered (best with thick stool). Clear pouches are available to monitor output or color and opaque pouches for those who prefer not to see it. A variety of sizes are available depending on output and lifestyle. Urostomates often attach their pouch to an additional drainage bag or container at nighttime.

Skin Barriers

Picking the best skin barrier is critical since it protects the skin around the stoma and enables a secure seal and fit. Your choice depends on your stoma, output, and other factors, such as sensitivity. Frequent changers may ask about gentle adhesion options while those with liquid output may require a stronger adhesion. If your stoma size is changing or oval you may want to get cut-to-fit or moldable skin barriers while, if it is stable and round, pre-sized are a convenient option.

  • Flat: Flat barriers sit level on the skin. Why people may choose it: When the stoma sticks out, pouching with hernia or creases.
  • Convex: Refers to a curved skin barrier (or a system/insert that creates this curve) which helps press inward on the skin next to the stoma. This can help the stoma protrude outward, which helps output go into the pouch instead of leaking under the barrier. There are a variety of depths and flexibilities available.
    Why people may choose it: When the stoma does not stick out enough, or soft tissue, skin folds/creases.

Ostomy Accessories

Depending on the person and stoma type, accessories include products such as cleaning wipes, adhesive removers, stoma powder (pectin-based, non-medicated), stoma paste or barrier ring (provides a seal around the stoma), stoma belt, scissors, wafer extenders, skin protectant wipes, and lubricating deodorant. These products can improve wear time, skin condition, and overall pouching experience.

Ask an ostomy nurse what may be helpful for you.

Keeping Track of it All

Know Your Ostomy Supplies Checklist

Know your ostomy pouching system and supplies. Once you’ve found the supplies working best for you be sure to keep track of the names, sizes and order numbers. Download the UOAA Know Your Ostomy Supplies Checklist tool to have handy as you work with your ostomy nurse, doctor, supplier or insurance to get the ostomy pouching system and accessories you need.

 

 Blog by Ed Pfueller, UOAA Director of Strategic Communications with medical review by Linda Coulter, BSN, RN, CWOCN

The Missing Step in Abdominal Surgery Recovery (And Why It Matters)

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By Kaylene Hernandez, PT, DPT

Recently, I had the privilege of conducting a workshop with our local UOAA affiliated ostomy support group. As I looked around the room at these resilient individuals, each with their own journey of recovery and adaptation, I was struck by a common thread in their stories. Many had received excellent surgical care and post-operative medical support, yet few had been offered physical therapy as part of their recovery process.

If you’ve undergone abdominal surgery, you might be dealing with unexpected challenges like persistent pain, difficulty returning to activities you love, or new symptoms you weren’t prepared for. Perhaps you’re frustrated that your recovery feels incomplete, or you’re worried about complications like hernias that seem to be developing despite following all your surgeon’s instructions.

These concerns are valid, and more importantly, they’re often addressable.

This gap in care matters because physical therapy after abdominal surgery can truly set you up for long-term success in ways that extend far beyond initial healing. While physical therapy is standard practice after orthopedic surgeries like knee or shoulder replacements, it’s rarely considered routine care following abdominal procedures.

In this article, I’ll guide you through understanding why physical therapy is crucial for your recovery and how it can address the three most common challenges you may be facing, namely:

  • Preventing hernias
  • Managing scar tissue
  • Returning to the activities that bring meaning to your life

What is Abdominal Rehabilitation?

Abdominal rehabilitation is a musculoskeletal and movement specialty within physical therapy that focuses on abdominal and pelvic muscle function in relationship to bowel, bladder, and sexual functioning as well as lumbopelvic and hip mobility. This specialized approach recognizes that abdominal surgery affects far more than just the surgical site, it impacts your entire core system, your posture, your breathing patterns, and your movement strategies.

Unlike general physical therapy, abdominal rehabilitation specifically addresses the unique challenges that arise after procedures involving the abdominal cavity, including ostomy surgeries, hernia repairs, bowel resections, gynecological surgeries, and other abdominal procedures.

Understanding How Abdominal Surgery Impacts Your Body

The effects of abdominal surgery extend far beyond the incision site. Understanding these impacts helps explain why comprehensive rehabilitation is so important for your recovery.

Adhesion Formation: The Hidden Challenge

One of the most significant and often overlooked consequences of abdominal surgery is adhesion formation.

Adhesions are internal scars that form naturally as the body heals from tissue damage caused by surgery, infection, injury, or radiation. While they’re a normal part of healing, they can become a source of pain and dysfunction.

The statistics are sobering: 90% of abdominal surgeries and nearly 100% of open pelvic surgeries cause adhesions. What makes adhesions particularly challenging is that they cannot be diagnosed through standard imaging or diagnostic testing.

Diagnosis is only possible through direct observation during surgery, but this is typically avoided to prevent further adhesive processes.

Adhesions can lead to:

  • Chronic abdominal or pelvic pain
  • Bowel obstruction requiring emergency surgery
  • Reduced organ mobility affecting digestive function
  • Fertility issues in reproductive-aged individuals
  • Need for additional surgical procedures

Changes in Posture, Breathing, and Movement Patterns

After abdominal surgery, your body naturally adopts protective postures and movement strategies. While these serve an important purpose during early healing, they often persist longer than necessary, leading to:

  • Postural changes: Forward trunk lean, rounded shoulders, and protective guarding
  • Breathing alterations: Shallow breathing patterns that reduce diaphragm excursion
  • Movement compensations: Altered lifting mechanics and transfer strategies
  • Core system dysfunction: Disruption of the coordinated system involving your diaphragm, pelvic floor, abdominal muscles, and spine stabilizers

The Comprehensive Benefits of Physical Therapy after Abdominal Surgery

Evidence-based abdominal rehabilitation offers numerous benefits that can significantly improve your recovery and long-term outcomes:

Physical Benefits

  • Decreased pain through targeted interventions and movement optimization
  • Improved muscle recruitment in abdominal, spine, and pelvic muscles
  • Enhanced range of motion in affected areas
  • Reduced excessive scarring through manual techniques and scar management
  • Prevention of ileus (intestinal blockage) through early mobility strategies
  • Less noticeable scars through specialized scar treatment techniques

Functional Benefits

  • Restored visceral mobility improving organ function and digestive health
  • Improved peristalsis supporting healthy bowel function
  • Faster return to prior activity levels with reduced risk of re-injury
  • Enhanced quality of life through comprehensive symptom management

Understanding Hernia Prevention: It’s All About Pressure Management

Hernias, including stomal hernias that can occur after ostomy placement, are often symptoms of poor intra-abdominal pressure management rather than simply surgical complications.

When you hold your breath during daily activities, something that happens unconsciously throughout the day, intra-abdominal pressure increases dramatically and seeks the path of least resistance.

Unfortunately, your recent surgical site often becomes that path.

Through physical therapy, you can learn new breathing strategies and movement patterns that help manage intra-abdominal pressure more effectively. These aren’t just theoretical techniques, they’re practical skills you can apply when lifting groceries, playing with grandchildren, or returning to your favorite exercises.

Key Strategies for Hernia Prevention

  • Coordinated breathing patterns during lifting and exertion
  • Progressive loading techniques to strengthen your abdominal wall safely
  • Activity modification strategies that protect your surgical site while maintaining independence
  • Recognition of warning signs that indicate you need to adjust your approach

Addressing Scar Tissue and Adhesions: A Proactive Approach

Surgical scar tissue affects how your core muscles function and increases the risk of adhesive disease, a condition that can lead to chronic pain, bowel obstruction, and additional surgeries. The challenge with adhesions is that while surgery can sometimes address severe cases, additional surgery often introduces more scar tissue, creating a frustrating cycle.

Physical therapy offers a non-invasive alternative through evidence-based techniques that can significantly improve how scar tissue behaves, reducing its impact on your daily function and potentially preventing the need for revision surgeries.

Evidence-Based Scar Management Techniques

  • Manual scar massage to improve tissue mobility and reduce restrictions
  • Myofascial mobilization targeting the abdominal wall and surrounding tissues
  • Visceral mobilization to optimize organ mobility and reduce internal adhesions
  • Dry needling to address trigger points and scar tissue limitations when appropriate
  • Instrument Assisted Soft Tissue Mobilization (IASTM) techniques for soft tissue mobilization and scar remodeling

Restoring Functional Mobility: Beyond Basic Movement

After abdominal surgery, your body naturally adopts protective postures to guard the surgical site. While this guarding serves an important purpose in early healing, it often persists longer than necessary, contributing to abdominal wall stiffness, loss of spinal mobility, decreased ribcage expansion, and compensatory movement patterns that can lead to pain.

Physical therapists are uniquely qualified to assess these movement compensations and prescribe specific exercises to address them. The goal isn’t just to restore basic function, but to help you return to activities you love, whether that’s caring for family members, returning to running, or getting back to gardening.

Personalized Activity Return

The key is individualization. A physical therapist can get creative with exercise progressions that are specific to your goals and interests, making rehabilitation both meaningful and sustainable. This might include:

  • Sport-specific training for athletes returning to competition
  • Workplace ergonomics for those with physical job demands
  • Grandparent preparation for those wanting to lift and play with grandchildren
  • Hobby-related movements like gardening, crafting, or musical instruments

The Core System Connection: Addressing Unexpected Symptoms

One aspect of abdominal surgery recovery that often surprises patients is the potential impact on bowel and bladder function. This occurs because abdominal surgery disrupts the “deep core” system, a coordinated network including the diaphragm, pelvic floor, abdominal wall muscles, and spine stabilizers.

These muscles must work as an integrated system for optimal function. The pelvic floor, in particular, plays crucial roles in continence control, pelvic organ support, and efficient bowel and bladder emptying.

When the Core System Is Disrupted

When surgery disrupts one component of this system, you may experience new onset symptoms such as:

  • Urinary or fecal incontinence
  • Constipation or changes in bowel patterns
  • Pelvic organ prolapse symptoms (feelings of pelvic heaviness)
  • Pelvic pain or discomfort

Physical therapists trained in pelvic health can help restore core system coordination and address these symptoms through targeted interventions, often eliminating the need for additional medical treatments or procedures.

The Three Phases of Rehabilitation after Abdominal Surgery

Effective abdominal surgery rehabilitation typically progresses through three distinct phases, each with specific goals and interventions tailored to your healing timeline and individual needs.

Phase 1: Incision Healing, Protection, Bowel and Bladder Health

Typical Time in Phase: Days to Weeks

Scar Healing Focus

  • Following your medical team’s instructions for incision care
  • Monitoring for signs of infection including redness, drainage, warmth, improper closure, fever, or excessive swelling
  • Learning proper wound care techniques and when to contact your healthcare provider

Healthy Bowel and Bladder Habits

  • Maintaining adequate hydration to support healing and digestive function
  • Learning to listen to natural urges rather than delaying or forcing
  • Identifying potential bowel and bladder irritants that may affect your recovery
  • Establishing healthy bathroom postures and techniques

Safe Body Mechanics

  • Pain management techniques that reduce reliance on medications
  • Early mobility strategies to prevent complications like blood clots
  • Education on safe posture and movement for daily activities
  • Guidance on self-care activities and adaptive techniques

Phase 2: Scar Tissue and Visceral Mobility, Restoring Range of Motion

Typical Time in Phase: Weeks to Months

  • Progressive strength restoration that respects healing tissues
  • Comprehensive scar tissue management through manual techniques
  • Spine, hip, and ribcage range of motion improvement
  • Myofascial mobilization of the abdominal wall and surrounding structures
  • Visceral mobilization to restore organ mobility and function
  • Breathing pattern optimization for pressure management
  • Introduction of functional movement patterns

Phase 3: Strengthening and Returning to Functional Mobility

Typical Time in Phase: Months and beyond

Advanced Core Strengthening and Stability Training

  • Balance training to reduce fall risk and improve confidence
  • Return to full functional mobility and previous activity levels
  • Activity-specific training for work, sport, and recreational pursuits
  • Long-term maintenance strategies for ongoing health
  • Independence in home exercise programs and self-management techniques

Your Path Forward

Abdominal surgery represents a significant event in your body’s history, but it doesn’t have to define the limits of your recovery.

With proper rehabilitation, you can not only return to your previous level of function but often exceed it by learning better movement strategies, developing stronger core stability, and gaining a deeper understanding of your body’s needs.

The key is recognizing that recovery is an active process that extends well beyond surgical healing, and seeking out qualified professionals who understand the unique challenges you’re facing.

Whether you’re dealing with persistent pain, concerned about hernia prevention, struggling with scar tissue restrictions, or experiencing unexpected symptoms, specialized abdominal rehabilitation can provide the roadmap to help you reclaim your life and activities with confidence.

About the Author: Kaylene Hernandez, PT, DPT is a doctor of physical therapy with MovementX, proudly serving Northwest Indianapolis specialized in pelvic health across the lifespan. Her advanced training covers male and female pelvic floor dysfunction, pediatric pelvic health, oncology rehabilitation, lymphedema, and dry needling. With an approach to care that is to listen deeply, treat holistically, and empower constantly, Dr. Hernandez is committed to helping you thrive in every season of life.

Citations

  1. Svensson-Raskh A, Schandl A, Holdar U, Fagevik Olsén M, Nygren-Bonnier M. “I Have Everything to Win and Nothing to Lose”: Patient Experiences of Mobilization Out of Bed Immediately After Abdominal Surgery. Phys Ther. 2020 Dec 7;100(12):2079-2089. doi: 10.1093/ptj/pzaa168. PMID: 32941610; PMCID: PMC7720638.​
  2. Okabayashi K, Ashrafian H, Zacharakis E, Hasegawa H, Kitagawa Y, Athanasiou T, Darzi A. Adhesions after abdominal surgery: a systematic review of the incidence, distribution and severity. Surg Today. 2014 Mar;44(3):405-20. doi: 10.1007/s00595-013-0591-8. Epub 2013 May 9. PMID: 23657643.​
  3. Broek RP, Issa Y, van Santbrink EJ, Bouvy ND, Kruitwagen RF, Jeekel J, Bakkum EA, Rovers MM, van Goor H. Burden of adhesions in abdominal and pelvic surgery: systematic review and met-analysis. BMJ. 2013 Oct 3;347:f5588. doi: 10.1136/bmj.f5588. PMID: 24092941; PMCID: PMC3789584.​
  4. Lubczyńska A, Garncarczyk A, Wcisło-Dziadecka D. Effectiveness of various methods of manual scar therapy. Skin Res Technol. 2023 Mar;29(3):e13272. doi: 10.1111/srt.13272. PMID: 36973982; PMCID: PMC10155853.​
  5. Chmielewska D, Malá J, Opala-Berdzik A, Nocuń M, Dolibog P, Dolibog PT, Stania M, Kuszewski M, Kobesova A. Acupuncture and dry needling for physical therapy of scar: a systematic review. BMC Complement Med Ther. 2024 Jan 2;24(1):14. doi: 10.1186/s12906-023-04301-4. PMID: 38167051; PMCID: PMC10759514.​
  6. Sinclair M. The use of abdominal massage to treat chronic constipation. J Bodyw Mov Ther. 2011 Oct;15(4):436-45. doi: 10.1016/j.jbmt.2010.07.007. Epub 2010 Aug 25. PMID: 21943617.​
  7. Zia Z, Riaz H, Imtiaz I. Effect of early physical therapy interventions on post-operative ileus following abdominal hysterectomy. J Pak Med Assoc. 2023 Mar;73(3):650-652. doi: 10.47391/JPMA.5447. PMID: 36932773.​
  8. Barral, Jean-Pierre. Visceral Manipulation. Vista CA: Eastland Press, 1993. ​
  9. Arung W, Meurisse M, Detry O. Pathophysiology and prevention of postoperative peritoneal adhesions. World J Gastroenterol. 2011 Nov 7;17(41):4545-53. doi: 10.3748/wjg.v17.i41.4545. PMID: 22147959; PMCID: PMC3225091.

 

Learning from Leaks: Tips for Staying Prepared and Positive on Your Ostomy Journey

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It happens…Speaking with Ostomates in many stages of their Ostomy journey is the best part of my role at Ostomysecrets®. A frequent topic, and cause for concern, is the dreaded LEAK. My answer is always the same, they happen to all of us; however, they should be few and far between.

Well, it happened to me. I have had my Ostomy for over twenty years, I measure time in between leaks in years at this point, not months, days or weeks. My record is five years, and I had been on a streak of almost two years.

I live in Southern California, and my husband’s side of the family lives in Las Vegas, NV. When I was first recovering from surgery, I worked very hard with my home health nurse to independently manage my ostomy so that we could make the drive to Vegas for my first Thanksgiving as an Ostomate. I reached that goal, and we had a successful trip.

We make this journey 2-3 times a year, up the Cajon Pass, across the Mojave and into the shining city of neon in the middle of the desert. I have never had any issues with my ostomy during these travels, and we’ve had so many fun adventures through the years: swimming in fancy hotel pools, attending shows and concerts, hiking, dining, stargazing and maybe a bit of gambling too.

Last week, we made the drive to Las Vegas again. I typically get 5 days wear time, so I changed my pouch the day before we left. My plan was to change my pouch again before heading back to California. In Barstow, CA – the halfway point of the journey – we stopped for a quick dinner planning to quickly get back on the road to Las Vegas. Then our plans changed.

Something did not feel right, and I discovered that my pouch had leaked. All my ostomy confidence drained from me. I tried not to panic and to focus on finding a solution. This was not an optimal situation, but Barstow is a crossroads town featuring a number of Truck Stops. I love a road trip, and something I know to be true about Truck Stops is they have showers! We happened to be right in front of one of these truck stops, so I walked in, paid my $18 and waited my turn.

My husband helped me get my suitcase, and my trusty me+ Starter Kit that I always carry my supplies in when I travel anywhere overnight. I will always be a better safe than sorry girl, and I would never leave home overnight without my supplies.

In that moment, standing in the Truck Stop shower waiting area, I was feeling very vulnerable and had tears in my eyes. I let the attendant know I was having a medical issue, and that my husband would be coming in with me to help. She immediately opened a shower for me, and got us extra towels. I was so comforted by the kindness of strangers and their willingness to make it a little easier for me.

I showered, completed my pouch change, got myself together and we got back on the road. I was rattled and feeling all of the emotions of what had just happened. The story I share, and what I know to be true, is that my Ostomy saved my life. Even in this low moment, that truth remains. When I was battling my Ulcerative Colitis diagnosis, at my worst moment, I was going to bathroom 45 times a day. Travel, road trips and adventure were just not possible; I was just too sick.

As we finished the drive through the desert, I felt doubt and anxiety creeping in. We had a big family pool party the next day, and I was worried that the remaining supplies that I had would not be enough. Would I ruin my family’s trip?

I had to quiet those thoughts. Why would this trip be any different that the countless other trips? Why would I have pouching issues? My Convatec pouching system has served me well all these years. It helps me to feel freedom and confidence to complete the adventures I so enjoy.

We ended up having a wonderful weekend! I slept soundly in our hotel bed, I swam with all of the cousins at our family BBQ, we dined out and explored The Vegas Strip. My pouch held up, working as expected and intended, and I achieved my typical five-day wear time – even with the 110 degree desert heat and pool time.

Our ostomies don’t just save our lives; they enable us to live full and happy lives. We thrive because of our ostomies and the pouching systems we rely on, not in spite of them.

My comment still stands: leaks happen to all of us, sometimes. If you are experiencing frequent leaks, please call our Convatec me + team and certified ostomy nurses. They are available to you by phone at 1-800-422-8811.

Editor’s note: This blog is from a UOAA digital sponsor, Convatec. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Celebrate World Ostomy Day with UOAA!

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By Jeanine Gleba, UOAA Advocacy Manager and Ed Pfueller, UOAA Communications and Outreach Manager

Each year United Ostomy Associations of America (UOAA) celebrates Ostomy Awareness Day in the United States on the first Saturday of October. Coincidentally, every three years on the first Saturday it is World Ostomy Day. This year we are celebrating World Ostomy Day around the globe on Saturday, October 4, 2025.  The International Ostomy Association determined this year’s theme as “Invisible Disabilities. Visible Support. The Global Unity of Ostomates. The goal of this theme is “Bringing light to uncover the invisible ostomy and create visible support. Fostering conversation, global awareness, and ensuring equity for our communities both locally and globally.” 

UOAA hopes everyone will be part of the “Visible Support” so many people are seeking after surgery. We also recognize that not all people living with an ostomy feel a connection to the  “Invisible Disabilities” theme but we seek to educate all ostomates on their workplace rights and federal ADA protections. Together we can raise positive awareness and smash stigmas to ensure all ostomates are universally accepted and treated equally with dignity and respect.

This year UOAA has named Keely Cat-Wells as this year’s World Ostomy Day Champion. “Being a World Ostomy Day Champion is a huge honour. It’s about using my platform to bring visibility to a community that is too often overlooked, even within the wider disability movement. Having an ostomy has shaped so much of my lived experience, and I know how isolating it can feel when society erases or stigmatizes something so fundamental to your health and survival,” she says.

We’re also excited to announce that UOAA has become members of the Hidden Disabilities: Sunflower Program. Have you seen the Sunflower? This is a global program whose tagline is “Making the invisible visible.” which makes them the perfect partner for this year’s World Ostomy Day! The Sunflower empowers individuals to voluntarily share that they have a non-visible condition and may need additional help, understanding, or simply more time.  Sunflower members iinclude companies such as United Airlines and LEGO and airports around the world. UOAA is working with them to create dedicated ostomy-content on their website. Check out the upcoming Hidden Disabilities Sunflower Conversations Podcast on October 4 where our champion Keely Cat-Wells appears alongside Nate Hadlock, Chair of UOAA’s Patient Advisory Board.

A Special Edition of Ostomy Academy

To kick-off the weekend events and celebrate World Ostomy Day UOAA is partnering with the nonprofit organizations South Asian IBD Alliance (SAIA), Color of Gastrointestinal Illnesses and Cheeky Charity for a special edition Ostomy Academy on Cultural Influences on Ostomy Life on Friday, October 3, 2025 at noon EST. In this conversation, we’ll address the unique challenges people may face within their communities—based on their ethnicity, culture, sexual orientation, or gender—and explore the support systems that can help. Register here.

Find or be the “Visible Support”

Visible ostomy support can come in many forms such as becoming a member of one of UOAA’s 285 Affiliated Support Groups.  Despite assurances from medical professionals, people facing ostomy surgery may feel scared or isolated. There is no substitute for peer support, the visual proof provided by someone who has had similar surgery and learned to live well with an ostomy.

What better “visible support” is there then being an “ostomy friend”? UOAA is proud to partner with Embracing Ostomy Life in the Team HOPE program. Team HOPE matches volunteer veteran/established people living with an ostomy, who have completed UOAA’s online “Ostomy Friends” training course, with new ostomates. Connections are made based on factors like gender, type of ostomy, lifestyle, and age. Get involved in this person-to-person support to help new ostomates achieve an optimal physical, mental and social recovery.

Another great form of visible ostomy support is attending the festive atmosphere of one of our eight Run for Resilience Ostomy 5k events around the country or join the Virtual Ostomy 5k in your corner of the world! This year’s World Ostomy Day T-Shirt is still available to virtual participants who sign-up by September 23rd! These events are also a critical fundraiser for the services and programs provided by UOAA so even if you don’t want to walk, roll, or run, consider cheering others on and a donation to celebrate the resilience of all people living with an ostomy.

Ostomy companies are another visible form of support for the community and their Ostomy 5k event sponsorships help off-set costs and make these gatherings possible. Many will have reps on hand to share products and talk with attendees. See the World Ostomy Day page for all the ways sponsors are celebrating online and at events.

Share your “Visible Support” on Social Media

Give thanks for your Support! Use social media to highlight the people, groups, orgs or resources that have supported you in life with an ostomy. Use Hashtags like #WorldOstomyDay #VisibleSupport #InvisibleDisabilities and be sure to tag UOAA.

We make it easy to share even if you are not on social media you can click on a storyprompt here here to record a video automatically or leave a text response or photos for our collection of “Visible Support” stories!

However you choose to celebrate, let us know! Share your photos and ideas for raising ostomy awareness this year with UOAA. 

To learn more and get involved in World Ostomy Day 2025 please visit https://www.ostomy.org/world-ostomy-day/

Finding Your Way: The Journey Forward with an Ostomy

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By Ted Leamy

This piece is adapted from my closing talk at the 2025 UOAA Conference held in Orlando Florida. Think of it as a last walk around the conference neighborhood before we all went home — with a few of my own observations.

I’m Ted. I’ve been living with an ostomy 43 years. I work in live production events — sound engineering & sound design for concerts and large sporting venues. My career has taken me all over the country and around the world.

At the start of the conference, I talked about how much it means to keep moving forward — even when the rules of the game seem to have changed. How our stomas are not just physical. They change how we see ourselves. Our sense of Self.

Having an ostomy doesn’t disqualify you from much. It demands a different kind of presence to lead the life you want. And that’s what I think we’ve all seen this week in the sessions and in conversations.

For me, the heartbeat of this conference is in the quiet moments — in the hallways, at breakfast, sitting in the lounge between presentations. That’s where appreciation happens — not just of new facts, but of each other.

Body Literacy

Many people get to move through their day without thinking much about their body — grab coffee, rush to work, sit in meetings. That seems normal if your body is working fine. We ostomates don’t get that option.

With an ostomy, you’re pulled into your body constantly. You are checking, you are aware. You know exactly what you ate recently.

This is sometimes referred to as ‘body literacy’ – the ability to read your own body’s signals and patterns. It’s a skill that gets better with practice. You learn to recognize subtle signs before they turn into problems. You understand your personal normal.

Medical stability is the foundation everything else builds on. Without it, you’re just trying to survive. With it, you can start thinking about what comes next.

I used to think this constant awareness was just another burden. Needless to say, I wrong. Now I think body literacy is one of my most valuable life skills. I notice things now I would have missed before… the taste of good coffee, a great conversation, the feeling of a successful day where everything just worked.

Presence and Appreciation

When you have experienced uncertainty through the lens that we have, you gain appreciation for ordinary moments. Not because you’re trying to be grateful – because you actually are.

People talk about mindfulness like it’s something you have to work toward. For us, it’s just another day. We live it by necessity, not by choice. No expensive spiritual retreat with gurus required.

This kind of presence can get exhausting at times, even border on hyper-vigilance. But kept under control, that presence is valuable body literacy — lessons we can transfer to all aspects of our lives.

For me: it has made me feel more alive. When asked what it’s like living with an ostomy for forty years, part of what I say is it taught me how to be present in my life instead of just racing quickly through it.

Three Stages of the Ostomy Journey

Over time I’ve noticed the journey with an ostomy isn’t one continuous road. It shifts, and it has stages. Understanding where you are in these stages can help make sense of current challenges and hint at what might be next in life.

I think of it as three stages:

1. Getting medically stable
2. Becoming functionally independent
3. Learning to flourish and thrive

First things first. You can’t do much until you’re medically stable. This is about listening carefully to your doctors, managing complications, or recovering from a procedure.

When leaving the hospital after one of my surgeries, when asked how I was feeling, I would joke: “I’m upright, I’ve got pants on, and I’m taking nourishment by mouth.”

That was my humorous way of saying I was medically stable. On my way home.

Medical stability is the foundation everything else builds on. Without it, you’re just trying to survive. With it, you can start thinking about what comes next.

Wanting to flourish is being human. It’s honoring the life you were given by actually living it fully.

Becoming functional is about being proficient in looking after your stoma and appliance. It’s creating a new daily routine that includes all your other hygiene and ‘get ready’ rituals. Getting comfortable in this whole new world.

When you are functional, you become grateful. Functional is a big deal! You can leave the house without mapping every bathroom. You can eat dinner with friends. You can sleep through the night with minimal interruptions.

But here’s what happens sometimes. You get functional, and it feels so secure that you lock yourself in. You find your safe foods, your reliable routines, your predictable schedule. Too predictable?

The problem is when functional becomes your ceiling instead of your floor. Does this make sense? Have you been there? I have. Most of us have, I think.

Flourish and Thrive

Let’s talk about moving from functional (stage 2) to flourishing (stage 3).

Flourishing is what you want out of your life — not in spite of your ostomy but in fact because of your ostomy and the life-saving consequences that got you this far.

Flourishing is when you stop asking “Can I do this with my ostomy?” and start asking “Do I want to do this?”

It’s when your ostomy becomes just one part of your life, not the organizing principle of your existence. It’s when you stop apologizing for your limitations and start celebrating your capabilities. It’s when you stop planning around your ostomy – and start planning around what you want out of life.

Sounds easier than it is to do! When we get functional, there are loud applause from friends, family, and doctors. We too are excited. Except we are people. And just being stable, then functional, is not enough. We want to thrive and flourish and become the person we imagine ourselves being.  That’s where the gap shows up — the space between functional and flourishing.

Mind the Gap

There is a gap between being functional and flourishing. We can be so pleased with being functional that we decide to stay in that mode — never pushing forward, never trying new things, never creating new adventures that self-doubt warns against.

Sometimes we get lost in that gap. You’re no longer a patient, but you’re not quite thriving either. It’s easy to feel disoriented, questioning if wanting more is worth the risk.

If we want more, are we ungrateful for what we have? Deep question. I say no.

Thriving is the aspiration. However it looks for each of us, that’s the direction forward.

Being grateful for your medical stability and functional independence doesn’t mean you have to stop there. You can be thankful for what you’ve achieved AND still want to grow, explore, and push your boundaries.

Wanting to flourish is being human. It’s honoring the life you were given by actually living it fully.

The ostomy journey is not a straight line. Circumstances will sometimes force you backward. What matters is finding your way back — regaining functionality, and taking that leap of faith toward flourishing again.

Inspiration Without Comparison

It’s things like this conference that show us what life could look like. Encourages us to keep moving forward. Whatever stage of the journey you find yourself.

When you see someone else thriving — really thriving — it expands your sense of what’s possible for yourself. But careful about comparing. We are all on a unique journey, each of us at different stages — not just in our ostomy journey but in our life journey.

The 19th century playwright Oscar Wilde said: “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”

Closing Reflections

Each of us knows our own life better than anyone else.  We’ve already been carrying our courage forward every day — showing up here only made it more visible. That same courage is what lets us reach for more. Thriving is the aspiration. However it looks for each of us, that’s the direction forward. And whatever tomorrow brings, we already carry what it takes to keep moving toward it.  Thanks for spending time with me.

Navigating Body Image After Ostomy Surgery

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When you get an ostomy, most of the advice you’ll hear is practical. It comes in boxes and routines: bags and baseplates, barrier strips and rings. There’s talk of wear time and skin prep, of what to eat and when to empty. These logistics matter, of course; they’re a necessary first step after a major surgery. But beneath this adjustment is often another layer of healing, one that goes beyond the physical.

An ostomy doesn’t just change how your body works. It can also change how you feel inside. It can shift how you see your body, yourself, and your worth, affecting everything from what you wear, to where you go, to how close you let others get. Amid all this change, you might even start to wonder: How could I ever accept myself like this?

For many, life with an ostomy involves the ongoing work of making peace with your body—to meet it not with shame, but with patience, gentleness, and ultimately acceptance. It’s about rebuilding trust with a body that may suddenly feel unfamiliar and allowing that body to once again feel like home.

Body image after ostomy surgery

More than just how you look, body image is about comfort, confidence, and feeling like yourself. Ostomy surgery can profoundly disrupt that sense of self-connection.

A 2018 research review found that poor body image is one of the most common emotional challenges after ostomy surgery. Even when recovery is technically going well—when a WOCN nurse smiles and says, “You’re doing great”—you might hear a voice inside that replies, “Yeah, right,” as waves of self-consciousness or grief roll in.

For many, social stigma only adds weight. Harmful myths that say ostomies are dirty or shameful can take root internally. One study found that nearly half of people with permanent colostomies experience this kind of stigma, which can erode emotional well-being and self-worth.

Even when surrounded by love, you might find yourself hiding. The shirt once worn with pride might get folded away, replaced by oversized clothes chosen more for camouflage than comfort. You might avoid mirrors, not out of vanity, but out of grief for a body that once felt like yours. Intimacy may feel distant, shadowed by the fear of being seen, touched, or rejected.

In all of this, you’re not alone.

What factors shape body image after ostomy surgery?

Body image isn’t fixed; it’s shaped by your history, current circumstances, and how you emotionally process change. Several key factors can influence how someone adjusts:

1. Age and stage of life: Research shows that younger adults often experience greater body image distress after ostomy surgery. This is a time when identity, sexuality, and self-expression are still being shaped—when you’re still learning who you are and how you want to be seen.

In this context, everyday moments can take on new complexity. You may find yourself doing quiet check-ins throughout the day: Is the bag visible? Is it full? Is it leaking? These small, repeated considerations can influence how you move through the world, especially in a culture where bodies with ostomies are rarely represented.

2. Reason for surgery. The reason behind an ostomy may also impact how you adjust to life with it. Even with the same procedure, the emotional meaning is shaped by the life story it enters—and that story can be the lens through which the body is seen.

Research suggests that people who undergo ostomy surgery due to cancer, for instance, may report lower levels of body image distress. While an ostomy can be life-saving in many contexts, cancer survivors may be more likely to see it that way: as a visible mark of survival and strength.

For others, the emotional meaning may feel more complex. When surgery follows years of chronic illness, misdiagnosis, or medical trauma, for example, the experience can carry different associations. Perhaps it’s not triumph, but relief, fatigue, or even resignation. One study found that some participants with inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) viewed their stoma as an embarrassing complication of their condition—something tied more to shame than strength.

But meaning isn’t fixed. With time, support, and self-compassion, your relationship with your ostomy can evolve, no matter the reason behind it.

3. Temporary vs. permanent ostomy. Research also shows that temporary stomas can lead to greater body image distress. When your ostomy isn’t permanent, it can feel like you’re living in a body that doesn’t quite belong to you—just a version you’re passing through. This in-between state can create a kind of psychological limbo: it’s hard to fully grieve what’s been lost and hard to fully accept what is.

While permanent ostomies can bring their own grief, they may also bring a sense of clarity that limbo does not. When you know this is your body now, you may be better equipped to make peace with it.

What can help: Tips for navigating body image after ostomy surgery

1. Find the right ostomy products for you. It’s hard to feel at ease in your body when the products meant to support it don’t feel reliable. Worrying about leaks, irritation, or a poor fit can quietly wear on your confidence. But when your pouching system truly works for you, it can create space for deeper healing and acceptance.

If the medical look or rustling sound of your ostomy pouch makes you feel more self-conscious, know this: not all pouches are the same. Some are designed to move with your body, to bend and stretch as you do. Some fold into a smaller shape that tucks easily under clothes. Some come in colors like black or gray, offering an alternative to a medical beige. Pair these ostomy bags with supporting products like barrier strips and moldable rings, as needed, and you can find a system that fits both your ostomy and your life.

2. Remember what your body is for. After ostomy surgery—after the shock, the healing, and the slow return to everyday life—it’s easy to forget what your body is still doing for you.

It breathes without asking. It heals, even when you’re not watching. It adapts in ways you never expected, creating space for you to live the life you want. Your body allows you to laugh, cry, rest, move, connect, and wake up to a new day. Again and again, that is something worth honoring.

3. Focus on what lights you up. On tough body image days, it can help to shift your focus away from your body. Try asking:

  • What reminds me that I’m still me, despite all I’ve been through?
  • Who or what helps me feel seen beyond how I look?
  • What brings me joy, even for a moment?

Maybe it’s the warmth of your morning tea. A dog’s thumping tail when you pass through the door. A text that says, I get it.

These small lights matter. They can remind you that your life is bigger than managing a stoma, and that you’re here to live in ways that have nothing to do with appearance.

4. Let go of the timeline. Healing isn’t linear. There is no “right” time to feel okay in your body again. No checklist or countdown—just you, moving through it all in your own way, in your own time.

Some days might feel lighter, like body acceptance is just within reach. Other days may stir up discomfort or grief in places you thought had healed. That doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re human. Release the pressure to arrive somewhere quickly and trust that just showing up for yourself is its own kind of progress.

Your body is still worthy after ostomy surgery

After ostomy surgery, your body is not broken. It is changed. It is not less worthy, just newly shaped.

You don’t have to love every part of it. You don’t have to feel grateful all the time. But your body, with its stoma and its pouch, is still here.

It’s still breathing. Still yours. And still deserving of care and peace.

References

Ayaz-Alkaya S. (2019). Overview of psychosocial problems in individuals with stoma: A review of literature. International wound journal, 16(1), 243–249. https://doi.org/10.1111/iwj.13018

Guo, L., Rohde, J., & Farraye, F. A. (2020). Stigma and disclosure in patients with inflammatory bowel disease. Inflammatory Bowel Diseases, 26(7), 1010–1016. https://doi.org/10.1093/ibd/izz260

Jayarajah, U., & Samarasekera, D. N. (2017). Psychological adaptation to alteration of body image among stoma patients: A descriptive study. Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine, 39(1), 63–68. https://doi.org/10.4103/0253-7176.198944

Mahjoubi, B., Mirzaei, R., Azizi, R., Jafarinia, M., & Zahedi-Shoolami, L. (2012). A cross-sectional survey of quality of life in colostomates: A report from Iran. Health and Quality of Life Outcomes, 10, 136. https://doi.org/10.1186/1477-7525-10-136

Simmons, K. L., Smith, J. A., Bobb, K. A., & Liles, L. L. (2007). Adjustment to colostomy: Stoma acceptance, stoma care self-efficacy and interpersonal relationships. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 60(6), 627–635. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2648.2007.04446.x

Yuan, J. M., Zhang, J. E., Zheng, M. C., & Bu, X. Q. (2018). Stigma and its influencing factors among Chinese patients with stoma. Psycho-Oncology, 27(6), 1565–1571. https://doi.org/10.1002/pon.4695

Coloplast develops products and services that make life easier for people with intimate healthcare needs. Working closely with the people who use our products, we create solutions that are sensitive to their special needs. Our business includes ostomy care, continence care, advanced wound care, interventional urology, and voice & respiratory care.

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