Navigating Body Image After Ostomy Surgery

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When you get an ostomy, most of the advice you’ll hear is practical. It comes in boxes and routines: bags and baseplates, barrier strips and rings. There’s talk of wear time and skin prep, of what to eat and when to empty. These logistics matter, of course; they’re a necessary first step after a major surgery. But beneath this adjustment is often another layer of healing, one that goes beyond the physical.

An ostomy doesn’t just change how your body works. It can also change how you feel inside. It can shift how you see your body, yourself, and your worth, affecting everything from what you wear, to where you go, to how close you let others get. Amid all this change, you might even start to wonder: How could I ever accept myself like this?

For many, life with an ostomy involves the ongoing work of making peace with your body—to meet it not with shame, but with patience, gentleness, and ultimately acceptance. It’s about rebuilding trust with a body that may suddenly feel unfamiliar and allowing that body to once again feel like home.

Body image after ostomy surgery

More than just how you look, body image is about comfort, confidence, and feeling like yourself. Ostomy surgery can profoundly disrupt that sense of self-connection.

A 2018 research review found that poor body image is one of the most common emotional challenges after ostomy surgery. Even when recovery is technically going well—when a WOCN nurse smiles and says, “You’re doing great”—you might hear a voice inside that replies, “Yeah, right,” as waves of self-consciousness or grief roll in.

For many, social stigma only adds weight. Harmful myths that say ostomies are dirty or shameful can take root internally. One study found that nearly half of people with permanent colostomies experience this kind of stigma, which can erode emotional well-being and self-worth.

Even when surrounded by love, you might find yourself hiding. The shirt once worn with pride might get folded away, replaced by oversized clothes chosen more for camouflage than comfort. You might avoid mirrors, not out of vanity, but out of grief for a body that once felt like yours. Intimacy may feel distant, shadowed by the fear of being seen, touched, or rejected.

In all of this, you’re not alone.

What factors shape body image after ostomy surgery?

Body image isn’t fixed; it’s shaped by your history, current circumstances, and how you emotionally process change. Several key factors can influence how someone adjusts:

1. Age and stage of life: Research shows that younger adults often experience greater body image distress after ostomy surgery. This is a time when identity, sexuality, and self-expression are still being shaped—when you’re still learning who you are and how you want to be seen.

In this context, everyday moments can take on new complexity. You may find yourself doing quiet check-ins throughout the day: Is the bag visible? Is it full? Is it leaking? These small, repeated considerations can influence how you move through the world, especially in a culture where bodies with ostomies are rarely represented.

2. Reason for surgery. The reason behind an ostomy may also impact how you adjust to life with it. Even with the same procedure, the emotional meaning is shaped by the life story it enters—and that story can be the lens through which the body is seen.

Research suggests that people who undergo ostomy surgery due to cancer, for instance, may report lower levels of body image distress. While an ostomy can be life-saving in many contexts, cancer survivors may be more likely to see it that way: as a visible mark of survival and strength.

For others, the emotional meaning may feel more complex. When surgery follows years of chronic illness, misdiagnosis, or medical trauma, for example, the experience can carry different associations. Perhaps it’s not triumph, but relief, fatigue, or even resignation. One study found that some participants with inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) viewed their stoma as an embarrassing complication of their condition—something tied more to shame than strength.

But meaning isn’t fixed. With time, support, and self-compassion, your relationship with your ostomy can evolve, no matter the reason behind it.

3. Temporary vs. permanent ostomy. Research also shows that temporary stomas can lead to greater body image distress. When your ostomy isn’t permanent, it can feel like you’re living in a body that doesn’t quite belong to you—just a version you’re passing through. This in-between state can create a kind of psychological limbo: it’s hard to fully grieve what’s been lost and hard to fully accept what is.

While permanent ostomies can bring their own grief, they may also bring a sense of clarity that limbo does not. When you know this is your body now, you may be better equipped to make peace with it.

What can help: Tips for navigating body image after ostomy surgery

1. Find the right ostomy products for you. It’s hard to feel at ease in your body when the products meant to support it don’t feel reliable. Worrying about leaks, irritation, or a poor fit can quietly wear on your confidence. But when your pouching system truly works for you, it can create space for deeper healing and acceptance.

If the medical look or rustling sound of your ostomy pouch makes you feel more self-conscious, know this: not all pouches are the same. Some are designed to move with your body, to bend and stretch as you do. Some fold into a smaller shape that tucks easily under clothes. Some come in colors like black or gray, offering an alternative to a medical beige. Pair these ostomy bags with supporting products like barrier strips and moldable rings, as needed, and you can find a system that fits both your ostomy and your life.

2. Remember what your body is for. After ostomy surgery—after the shock, the healing, and the slow return to everyday life—it’s easy to forget what your body is still doing for you.

It breathes without asking. It heals, even when you’re not watching. It adapts in ways you never expected, creating space for you to live the life you want. Your body allows you to laugh, cry, rest, move, connect, and wake up to a new day. Again and again, that is something worth honoring.

3. Focus on what lights you up. On tough body image days, it can help to shift your focus away from your body. Try asking:

  • What reminds me that I’m still me, despite all I’ve been through?
  • Who or what helps me feel seen beyond how I look?
  • What brings me joy, even for a moment?

Maybe it’s the warmth of your morning tea. A dog’s thumping tail when you pass through the door. A text that says, I get it.

These small lights matter. They can remind you that your life is bigger than managing a stoma, and that you’re here to live in ways that have nothing to do with appearance.

4. Let go of the timeline. Healing isn’t linear. There is no “right” time to feel okay in your body again. No checklist or countdown—just you, moving through it all in your own way, in your own time.

Some days might feel lighter, like body acceptance is just within reach. Other days may stir up discomfort or grief in places you thought had healed. That doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re human. Release the pressure to arrive somewhere quickly and trust that just showing up for yourself is its own kind of progress.

Your body is still worthy after ostomy surgery

After ostomy surgery, your body is not broken. It is changed. It is not less worthy, just newly shaped.

You don’t have to love every part of it. You don’t have to feel grateful all the time. But your body, with its stoma and its pouch, is still here.

It’s still breathing. Still yours. And still deserving of care and peace.

References

Ayaz-Alkaya S. (2019). Overview of psychosocial problems in individuals with stoma: A review of literature. International wound journal, 16(1), 243–249. https://doi.org/10.1111/iwj.13018

Guo, L., Rohde, J., & Farraye, F. A. (2020). Stigma and disclosure in patients with inflammatory bowel disease. Inflammatory Bowel Diseases, 26(7), 1010–1016. https://doi.org/10.1093/ibd/izz260

Jayarajah, U., & Samarasekera, D. N. (2017). Psychological adaptation to alteration of body image among stoma patients: A descriptive study. Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine, 39(1), 63–68. https://doi.org/10.4103/0253-7176.198944

Mahjoubi, B., Mirzaei, R., Azizi, R., Jafarinia, M., & Zahedi-Shoolami, L. (2012). A cross-sectional survey of quality of life in colostomates: A report from Iran. Health and Quality of Life Outcomes, 10, 136. https://doi.org/10.1186/1477-7525-10-136

Simmons, K. L., Smith, J. A., Bobb, K. A., & Liles, L. L. (2007). Adjustment to colostomy: Stoma acceptance, stoma care self-efficacy and interpersonal relationships. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 60(6), 627–635. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2648.2007.04446.x

Yuan, J. M., Zhang, J. E., Zheng, M. C., & Bu, X. Q. (2018). Stigma and its influencing factors among Chinese patients with stoma. Psycho-Oncology, 27(6), 1565–1571. https://doi.org/10.1002/pon.4695

Coloplast develops products and services that make life easier for people with intimate healthcare needs. Working closely with the people who use our products, we create solutions that are sensitive to their special needs. Our business includes ostomy care, continence care, advanced wound care, interventional urology, and voice & respiratory care.

Follow Coloplast on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, or visit us online at https://www.coloplast.us/

Editor’s note: This blog is from a UOAA digital sponsor, Coloplast. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Why do some people with ostomies name their stoma?

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Stella. Betty Poop. Homer the Stoma.

To some, stoma names may seem silly or childish. A stoma is not a pet, after all. Not a car or childhood stuffed animal. People don’t typically name their liver or spleen—so why, then, would anyone name a stoma?

For many people with ostomies, naming their stoma isn’t just a quirky custom; it’s a meaningful practice. It’s not about trivializing a potentially life-saving surgery or minimizing the complexity of ostomy life. Rather, it’s a tool for healing. Naming may be a way to reclaim agency in moments of powerlessness, to bring levity to something heavy, and to create connection—with yourself and others—amid profound change.

Naming your stoma as a coping strategy

Seeing your stoma for the first time may be a deeply jarring experience. That small section of intestine or urinary tract, visible through your abdominal wall, can trigger a range of emotions: shock, grief, maybe even a sense of bodily betrayal. Your stoma may feel like a glaring marker of surgery, illness, or loss—a visible reminder of all you’ve been through or what makes you feel different.

Adapting to an ostomy is a deeply personal journey, shaped by physical, psychological, and social factors. For many, the experience goes far beyond ordering ostomy supplies or managing pouch changes. It touches self-image, identity, and the core questions we ask in moments of significant change: Who am I now? What does this mean for my life?

While there’s no single path through this process, research shows that how you relate to your stoma matters. How you view it, speak about it, and ultimately integrate it into your life could play a pivotal role in emotional and psychological adaptation.

One surprising but potentially powerful tool in the process? Naming your stoma.

In a 2018 survey by ostomy care nurses Jane Cook and Jackie Hatton, 75% of respondents who named their stoma said it helped them cope with the aftermath of surgery. As one participant explained, naming their stoma helped it “become part of [them]”—less foreign, more personal.

In this way, naming may be an act of reclamation, a powerful gesture when you have a new body part stitched into place, a system rerouted and reimagined. New language—pancaking, flange, peristomal skin—comes with new routines and instructions. When so much is out of your control, naming your stoma might be one thing you get to choose. It’s one way to say: I didn’t choose all this, but I can choose how I meet it.

The role of humor and connection in adapting to ostomy life

Naming a stoma isn’t just about finding agency or control; it may also bring humor, creativity, and connection into an experience that is often heavy.

Many people with ostomies choose names that reflect the “personality” of their stoma. Maybe it’s Sassy Sasha, if it has a flair for dramatic entrances. Great Gassy, if it’s mysterious but persistent. Or Mildred, if it’s all business. With a name, suddenly the stoma isn’t just a surgical site. It’s Oscar, having a bad day and making sure everyone knows it. It’s Lola, the life of the party when you’re trying to focus. It’s Hank, sneaking up at the most inopportune moment. These names may transform the stoma from something clinical into something human, giving you language to talk about it, joke about it, even roll your eyes at it.

As playful as many stoma names are, it’s not just about cracking jokes for the sake of it. Research shows suggests that humor may be a valuable coping strategy for some people with ostomies, helping to promote acceptance and psychological resilience. With a little wit, the stoma may shift from a source of shame or discomfort into a character in the story of healing: sometimes annoying, sometimes funny, but no longer invisible or feared.

This reframe may also help break down the stigma surrounding ostomies by encouraging open communication. In one study, a survey participant shared how their family shouts, “Shut up, Lily!” when their stoma acts up, turning what might otherwise be an isolating experience into shared laughter. What once felt unspeakable becomes something everyone can talk about—a starting point for connection and support.

Respecting personal choice: Not everyone names their stoma

While naming a stoma can be a meaningful part of the healing process for some, it’s not for everyone—and that’s okay. Choosing not to name a stoma can be just as intentional as a name like Rosie or Winnie the “Poo.” In fact, some people with ostomies say that naming can create a sense of separation they don’t want. They don’t see their stoma as something “other,” something that needs to be softened or humanized. The stoma is simply “my stoma.” No need for nicknames or extra narrative—it just is.

Interestingly, for those who do choose to name their stoma, that relationship may change over time. Some ostomates who initially name their stoma eventually stop using the name. For them, what began as a coping mechanism may be less necessary as the stoma becomes just another part of their body. As the name fades, so does the need to frame the stoma as anything other than a part of moving forward.

Living with an ostomy: Your story, your terms

What naming offers isn’t a right or wrong way to “do” life with a stoma. It simply offers space for choice, connection, and self-expression. Some stoma names will stick. Others won’t. Some may only be whispered in private, while others are worn like a badge of resilience or pride.

What matters most isn’t whether you call your stoma Stanley or Scooby-Poo or nothing at all. It’s that you get to choose. That even after illness and surgery—even after everything—you get to choose how your story goes.

References

Cook, J., & Hatton, J. (2018). Giving a stoma a name: A mixed-methods study of naming habits and attitudes among ostomates. Gastrointestinal Nursing, 16(7). https://doi.org/10.12968/gasn.2018.16.7.28

Jayarajah, U., & Samarasekera, D. N. (2017). Psychological Adaptation to Alteration of Body Image among Stoma Patients: A Descriptive Study. Indian journal of psychological medicine, 39(1), 63–68. https://doi.org/10.4103/0253-7176.198944

Simpson, E., Pourshahidi, K., Davis, J., Slevin, M., Lawther, R., O’Connor, G., Porrett, T., Marley, J., & Gill, C. (2023). Living with and without an intestinal stoma: Factors that promote psychological well-being and self-care: A cross-sectional study. Nursing open, 10(12), 7811–7825. https://doi.org/10.1002/nop2.2030

 

Coloplast develops products and services that make life easier for people with intimate healthcare needs. Working closely with the people who use our products, we create solutions that are sensitive to their special needs. Our business includes ostomy care, continence care, advanced wound care, interventional urology, and voice & respiratory care.

Follow Coloplast on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, or visit us online at https://www.coloplast.us/

 

Editor’s note: This blog is from a UOAA digital sponsor, Coloplast. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

 

Friends and Fun: How I was able to Maintain Friendships and Enjoy Social Activities While Living with an Ostomy

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By LaTesha Harrison-Thompson

Living with an ostomy can bring about significant changes in your life, but it doesn’t mean you have to give up your social life or let go of cherished friendships. Here’s my story of how I kept my friendships and social life intact while living with an ostomy during my teenage/young adult years.

My friends were more than willing to make small accommodations, whether that meant picking a restaurant with accessible restrooms or planning less physically demanding outings.

Open Communication

Although this was extremely hard, transparency was my first step. I found it helpful to explain my condition to my close friends. It wasn’t always easy, but being honest about my needs and limitations made a world of difference. Their support and understanding grew out of their awareness of my situation, turning what could have been an awkward subject into a source of mutual trust and strength. I didn’t reveal my condition to everyone and most family did not know but the small core that did know was understanding and accepting. Trusting your friends and family to care for you when you are unable is a huge step.

Choosing Comfort and Confidence

I took some time to learn about my new normal, which included finding the right ostomy supplies that worked for me. Comfortable and discreet options boosted my confidence, making me feel more at ease in social settings. This confidence was key to enjoying myself without constantly worrying about my ostomy.

Planning Ahead

For outings and get-togethers, a bit of planning went a long way. I always carried a small kit with extra supplies, and scouted out restrooms when I arrived at new places. This allowed me to relax and have fun without the nagging fear of unexpected issues.

Adapting Activities

I realized that while some activities might require slight adjustments, I didn’t have to miss out. Whether it was cheerleading, going to the mall, or just a night out, finding ways to adapt and participate fully kept my social life vibrant and my confidence boosted. My friends were more than willing to make small accommodations, whether that meant picking a restaurant with accessible restrooms or planning less physically demanding outings.

Lean on Support Groups

Connecting with others who have similar experiences can provide a unique form of support and camaraderie. Although I didn’t have this opportunity growing up, joining an ostomy support group can offer practical tips and emotional encouragement, and you can make great friends who truly understand your journey.


Staying Positive and Proactive

Maintaining a positive attitude was crucial. Instead of focusing on limitations, I embraced what I could still do and enjoyed the moments with friends to the fullest. By staying proactive in managing my health and well-being, I found that my ostomy became just a small part of my life rather than a barrier.

Living with an ostomy certainly comes with its challenges, but with the right mindset and strategies, friendships and social activities don’t have to take a backseat. By prioritizing communication, confidence, and adaptability, I discovered that I could still lead a fulfilling and fun-filled life.