(18-25yrs)
During this period young adults will move into adult roles and responsibilities and may pursue higher education, learn a trade and/or work. Young adults understand abstract concepts and are aware of consequences and their personal limitations. They have an idea about a career and work towards achieving the needed information for that career.
Physical development: Young adults usually attain adult height and secondary sex characteristics (such as penile size and breast development) are complete.
Cognitive development: They will move into adult roles and responsibilities and may pursue higher education, learn a trade and/or work. Young adults understand abstract concepts and are aware of consequences and their personal limitations. They have an idea about a career and work towards achieving the needed information for that career. They may develop adult interests, new skills and/or hobbies. Build on and test out decision making skills.
Emotional development: Young adults may move into adult relationships with parents. They begin to feel empathetic and complete their values framework. Many young adults still may have some feelings of invincibility. Intimacy skills improve.
Sexual development: They may enter into intimate sexual and emotional relationships. While young adults may know their sexual orientation, they may still experiment. Now they may have an understanding that sexuality is connected to commitment and begin future planning.
Your ostomy does not define your relationship (of any sort!).
Friends/Roommates
Explain your situation to a close friend and lean on them for support. Again, be sure to clear this with them beforehand. Don’t ambush them with the responsibility.
ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES. Make sure it is CLEAR if you cannot do something. If your friends are trying to ignore your medical needs and constantly pressure you to do something you cannot, then you need to make clear that they are crossing a line. If they continue to do this, despite your warnings, decide whether to stay friends with them. Compromise when it does not hurt you (but do not compromise on YOUR needs).
If you know your friends want to eat at a place that will cause you problems, you can eat beforehand, pack a snack, or you can stop somewhere afterwards.
If your friends/roommates are reluctant to listen to you, listen to their misgivings and reassure them. Offering to take responsibility for a chore can go a long way in smoothing a relationship.
Your ostomy is a part of YOU, and if a partner is not accepting of that, then you cannot be your most authentic self — you are worthy of that!
There is no set timeline for when you decide to disclose your ostomy and/or medical conditions; do so when it seems necessary/relevant/right.
The right person will support you, your medical conditions and all!
Help your partner get educated on what an ostomy is, what daily life looks like, etc.
Do not judge too harshly if your partner has initial hesitations when it comes to your ostomy, they may need a second to warm up and/or get used to the idea.
Plan activities around non-food-related activities if food is a challenge.
Your health will ebb and flow, so there will be times when you rely on your partner more than others, make sure your partner has the support that they need when their role is more of a caregiver than a partner.
Talk openly about your conditions, it will make your partner more comfortable with what’s going on with you.
Have a hospital plan for any emergencies, make sure your partner knows what to do and how best to help you.
Scheduling time for sex can make sure you are properly prepared (empty bag, low symptom levels).
Prepare the environment to make you and your partner more comfortable with ideas like:
Your stoma should NEVER be used for penetration.
Communicate openly about what is working and what you’d like to change for the next time.
Sex does not have to mean penetration; get creative with what makes you feel connected to your partner.
If your ostomy makes you self-conscious about being naked, there are accessories available (StealthBelt, Vanilla Blush, lingerie, etc.) to help you feel more at ease.
Know that your post-surgery body may feel different, be kind to yourself when it comes to pain/erectile dysfunction/low sex drive/etc.
There is no better advocate for you than YOU.
You know how you are feeling better than anyone else.
Don’t be a doormat: Your needs are important, don’t let others convince you otherwise.
Be Resolute: Your medical needs are not something that can be compromised.
Be assertive without being aggressive.
In a casual setting, have a friend that fully understands your situation so they can provide you support.
Discuss this with your friends, let them know you appreciate them and their help.
Understand that there will be things you cannot do because of the problems they will cause you and your ostomy.
You can exercise and play sports. Make sure you build up your activity level over time.
Drink plenty of fluids before, during and after the activity.
If you ever feel “lightheaded” at any point STOP the activity-drink fluids and rest. Contact your healthcare provider if you do not feel better.
You may want some sort of protection for your ostomy and there are many companies that sell belts/covers and other accessories for protection.
When swimming, for some they can swim without making any changes to the way they wear their ostomy appliance. Others need to make some simple changes to ensure that everything stays where it is supposed to be. Here are some suggestions that may help:
When swimming, you may want to wear a protective wrap or tight swimsuit to hold the ostomy appliance close to your skin.
Do not allow air to stay in the ostomy pouch. This will cause it to float and possibly separate from the wafer or your skin.
Reinforce the edges with barrier protectors or waterproof tape.
Don’t apply a fresh appliance right before you get into the water. It may take several hours to fully adhere to your skin.
You may want to change the appliance after swimming, especially in salt water which can break down the adhesive material faster.
Remember that you sweat when swimming in warm water or working out hard, even though you may not notice it because you’re covered in water already. Sweating may require that the appliance be changed more often.
Anticipate and pack enough supplies needed for the trip.
Check with your durable medical equipment (DME) vendor to see if they can ship emergency supplies to your vacation destination overnight.
If you are flying~ you may want to keep supplies close to you.
If you normally cut your pouches you may want to consider precutting your appliances before your trip.
NOTE: Ostomy scissors are allowed on flights as long as they are less than 4 inches in the US and 2.4 inches in Canada.
Pre-cut if going internationally. No guarantee that scissors are allowed.
Check with your airline before the trip to find out any specific guidelines.
Consider proactively reaching out to Ostomy nurses at various healthcare institutions at your destination.
Ask if they have emergency donated supplies you could obtain just in case.
If you need to go into an Emergency Room to obtain supplies, research healthcare organizations are likely to have a wide range of supplies to fit your needs.
Hint – research large academic institutions near your travel destination which would likely have various fits.
These webpages are funded by a grant from Hollister Incorporated.
United Ostomy Associations of America
P.O. Box 2293
Biddeford, ME 04005-2293
Call us toll-free at: 1-800-826-0826.
Our Information Line hours are Monday-Friday, 9am to 3pm EST. If you have an emergency, please dial 911 or contact your local medical professional.
Please understand that UOAA is a private, nonprofit, advocacy and informational organization. We are not a medical facility and we do not have medical or legal professionals on staff. Therefore, UOAA does not provide Medical, Mental Health, Insurance or Legal Advice. Visit UOAA Virtual Ostomy Clinic provided by The Wound Company for non-emergency, virtual ostomy support.
