Tag Archive for: planning

Friends and Fun: How I was able to Maintain Friendships and Enjoy Social Activities While Living with an Ostomy

, , , , , ,

By LaTesha Harrison-Thompson

Living with an ostomy can bring about significant changes in your life, but it doesn’t mean you have to give up your social life or let go of cherished friendships. Here’s my story of how I kept my friendships and social life intact while living with an ostomy during my teenage/young adult years.

My friends were more than willing to make small accommodations, whether that meant picking a restaurant with accessible restrooms or planning less physically demanding outings.

Open Communication

Although this was extremely hard, transparency was my first step. I found it helpful to explain my condition to my close friends. It wasn’t always easy, but being honest about my needs and limitations made a world of difference. Their support and understanding grew out of their awareness of my situation, turning what could have been an awkward subject into a source of mutual trust and strength. I didn’t reveal my condition to everyone and most family did not know but the small core that did know was understanding and accepting. Trusting your friends and family to care for you when you are unable is a huge step.

Choosing Comfort and Confidence

I took some time to learn about my new normal, which included finding the right ostomy supplies that worked for me. Comfortable and discreet options boosted my confidence, making me feel more at ease in social settings. This confidence was key to enjoying myself without constantly worrying about my ostomy.

Planning Ahead

For outings and get-togethers, a bit of planning went a long way. I always carried a small kit with extra supplies, and scouted out restrooms when I arrived at new places. This allowed me to relax and have fun without the nagging fear of unexpected issues.

Adapting Activities

I realized that while some activities might require slight adjustments, I didn’t have to miss out. Whether it was cheerleading, going to the mall, or just a night out, finding ways to adapt and participate fully kept my social life vibrant and my confidence boosted. My friends were more than willing to make small accommodations, whether that meant picking a restaurant with accessible restrooms or planning less physically demanding outings.

Lean on Support Groups

Connecting with others who have similar experiences can provide a unique form of support and camaraderie. Although I didn’t have this opportunity growing up, joining an ostomy support group can offer practical tips and emotional encouragement, and you can make great friends who truly understand your journey.


Staying Positive and Proactive

Maintaining a positive attitude was crucial. Instead of focusing on limitations, I embraced what I could still do and enjoyed the moments with friends to the fullest. By staying proactive in managing my health and well-being, I found that my ostomy became just a small part of my life rather than a barrier.

Living with an ostomy certainly comes with its challenges, but with the right mindset and strategies, friendships and social activities don’t have to take a backseat. By prioritizing communication, confidence, and adaptability, I discovered that I could still lead a fulfilling and fun-filled life.

Caring for the Caregiver

,

By Ellyn Mantell

We are at that stage of life where so many in our world are dealing with issues that require care. All are in shellshock! Those who require help were frequently the backbone of their family, their community, their businesses, and suddenly, they need care.  Family members are called upon to play a different role, that of becoming the caregiver with little to no preparation. It rattles everyone, can separate and cause feuds in families, and can go in a very negative direction. But if everyone has their eye on the prize, that of supporting the one in need, there will be an amazing sense of camaraderie, and I believe, much more success. Now, more than ever, people need each other.

I want to share some thoughts with you in the event you or someone you know finds themselves in this situation:

  • Help to create a plan of action, logically and without emotion. Remember to focus on what is best for the patient (or one in need, but we will refer to them as patient) Ask professionals for guidance, but let them know your resources, financially, personally and physically. Bravado doesn’t have a place here…be open and honest. Nobody can do it all, and nobody expects that.
  • Bring family and close friends together and have open conversations about the direction being planned. It is dangerous to assume you know what others are thinking, and it is subterfuge for others to talk without involving you directly. Make it easy for family and friends to come to you, and do not put up a wall. Nobody benefits when that happens and too much time is wasted! Listen, gather information, keep an open mind, and then feel empowered to make decisions.
  • Keep a journal of what is happening to your loved one and yourself. Being mindful of the experience and noticing how you are growing and changing is valuable. It will help with each step you take. These things are most often a process, and not “fixed” on the schedule we desire. Additionally, for the patient, knowing what tests have been performed, the results, in one place, can be invaluable.
  • There are many resources available, but it is a minefield for those who are dealing with the patient. Ask a valued friend or family member to make calls on your behalf or help them navigate the internet. As an Advocate, I receive countless phone calls from family members and friends asking for my guidance. I praise those who reach out on someone’s behalf, and know the patient is so fortunate to have that type of loving concern.
  • Finally, although I could continue for pages, take the Caregiver to lunch, do something special for them, acknowledge all they are doing and the amount on their plate. Call, reach out and do what you can. This is such a trying time, and certainly, we are all aware of our vulnerability. Pay it forward and watch how it helps.

 

Ellyn Mantell is a UOAA advocate and Affiliated Support Group leader from New Jersey. This post first appeared on her blog More Than My Ostomy.