Tag Archive for: long life with an ostomy

73 Years with an Ostomy

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Remembering Ruth Fawley

By Ed Pfueller, UOAA Communications and Outreach Manager

In 1950, Ruth Fawley celebrated her 21st birthday, but the following decade was spent mainly in hospitals. Her ulcerative colitis led to an ostomy in 1951 and multiple unsuccessful intestinal surgeries. At one point, she was in a life-threatening coma for a week. Considering her health struggles, few people at the time might have predicted she would live an active life and reach the age of ninety-four before her passing in 2024.

A turning point in Fawley’s life came with her introduction to Dr. Harry Ellicott Bacon, Professor and Chairman of the Department of Proctology at Temple University Hospital in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He performed ileostomy revisions and subsequent surgeries that ultimately allowed her to lead a more normal life.

Dr. Bacon was an internationally renowned and innovative surgeon who prioritized the emotional well-being of his patients. He invited Ruth to a peer support group for women with ostomies and related surgeries.

Ruth worked as an executive secretary and while working at the travel magazine Holiday met many well-known authors, likely sparking her lifelong passion for travel.

She married her longtime husband, J. Russell Fawley, Jr., in 1959. When it came to starting a family, doctors at that time were not sure if a woman with an ileostomy could get pregnant and give birth. “She would later joke that out of the nineteen surgeries she endured, the only time she left the hospital with more than she went in with was when she had her two Cesareans,” remembers her daughter Nancy Fawley.

She thinks her mother would want fellow ostomates reading this article, “To be inspired and know you can have a family, travel and have a long normal life with an ostomy.”

Nancy says her mother was a wonderful cook and loved to garden. Ruth loved the water, whether swimming at the Jersey Shore or doing near-daily water aerobics later in life. Ruth also had a keen artistic eye, loved to sew and was well-known for the dynamic use of colors in her quilts.

Like many of her generation, Ruth carried on quietly in life with an ostomy but had to manage the challenges of short bowel from her many surgeries. She was a longtime supporter and member of UOA and UOAA and an avid reader of The Phoenix Magazine.

A June 2011 article on Army Pilot Bob Cuyler’s story of flying in a combat zone with an ostomy inspired her to write a letter to him. He responded in kind by sending her a Presentation Flag his unit took into active duty, which she cherished for years after. In her return letter, she thanks Cuyler for his service and fortitude and shares that even finding ostomy appliances was difficult in those early days. “An ileostomy was not spoken of and I know the humiliation, embarrassment and stigma attached to it,” she shared. But her sense of humor shines through as she ends her letter joking that the old Ostomy Quarterly magazines used to arrive in plain brown paper wrappers, leading her neighbor to think she was getting Playboy Magazine!

“If I get to the gates of heaven and still have this ostomy pouch I’m turning around!”

Nancy says that her mother shared many Phoenix articles with her over the years so she would have a better understanding of her condition. “I relied on this information when I worked with doctors, health care professionals and hospice caregivers who had little to no experience with patients with an ileostomy,” Nancy says.

In honor of her mother’s memory, Nancy has donated to UOAA at The Phoenix Society Diamond level in part because of UOAA’s continued commitment to ostomy education for both patients and medical professionals.

In her later years, Ruth herself became a caretaker for her husband as he battled with Parkinson’s disease and dementia before his death in 2014. During this time, she created a striking quilt with dynamic colors she entitled “meltdown.” Ruth’s colors live on in the many quilts she gifted to family and friends.

In her final months, Nancy got to hear more stories of her mother’s travels in England and France and a doctor’s direction that a bit of scotch can help in digestion. She thinks her mother would want fellow ostomates reading this article, “To be inspired and know you can have a family, travel and have a long normal life with an ostomy.”

At the end of her 94-years she had just about enough of dealing with it though, “If I get to the gates of heaven and still have this ostomy pouch I’m turning around!” she told her daughter. The amazing mix of humor and resilience required after 73 years with an ostomy still shining through.

 

The Phoenix Society recognizes those individuals who are able to sustain and/or increase their total annual donation of $500 or more during each calendar year. Become a member of The Phoenix Society or donate at any level to help UOAA fulfill its mission to promote the quality of life for people with ostomies and continent diversions through information, support, advocacy, and collaboration. UOAA is thankful for those who give, including Nancy Fawley and the other Diamond and Ruby Level members listed below. 

 

Sixty Years with an Ostomy

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By Ed Pfueller, UOAA Communications Manager

Beverly Dabliz is ready to celebrate a monumental 60th anniversary but even her closest friends do not all know what it is for. Recently she decided it was finally time to share the news. “Just last week I told a close friend I’ve known for 66 years – I’m the godmother of her twins, but even they did not know I have an ostomy. It was just not something people talked about,” Dabliz says. She adds “People are surprised to learn the news, but it does not matter to them one bit.”

Dabliz had ileostomy surgery in 1962 at Ferguson Hospital in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Ferguson was one of the first clinics in the world to perform such surgeries. By the time she turned twenty she was suffering from ulcerative colitis and by twenty-four ran out of treatment options. “After sixty years I have never regretted it, it has allowed me to live a great life,” Dabliz says.

Almost no one with the exception of her doctor understood the procedure and how to care for it. She knew she was on her own on how to carry on and reach her full potential.
Even if you have a great support network Dabliz recommends, “You have to own it and take care of it.” Ostomy supplies of that time bear little resemblance to the lightweight, contoured appliances of today. “I wore a heavy two-piece rubber appliance held on with an ostomy glue,” she recalls. It was not until the 70s that pouching systems began to evolve into something similar to the one and two-piece systems commonly used today.

“It was just not something people talked about,”

Over the years Dabliz has helped other ostomates in need through the Detroit Metro Ostomy Support Group. While doing hospital visits she would always appear in fitted clothes and enjoyed how grateful the patients were to hear from someone else living with an ostomy. She is happy about the recent return of in-person support group meetings. At meetings, Dabliz is sometimes surprised by some of the concerns new ostomates have regarding things like food, “I just tell them to be sure you chew your food very well, in the beginning, I tried it all without being scared but I’m still often the last one eating. I chew my food so well I’ve worn down teeth.”

Beverly Dabliz, right, works during a mission trip to Costa Rica with her Michigan church group.

Dabliz worked in the accounting department of a computer company in Detroit and Plymouth, Michigan for 45 years before retiring. Her boss was aware of her ostomy and supportive. “I never missed a day of work because of the ostomy,” she says.

Six years ago Dabliz had a fight with kidney cancer and three years ago a shoulder replacement surgery. But she has otherwise been fortunate to live a healthy life since the ostomy surgery six decades ago. She still makes it a point to get out of the house almost every day. “I have always been very active and really have not had any ostomy issues,” Dabliz says. In her eighties now, she still enjoys golfing and was in a bowling league for many years.

Beverly Dabliz working as a volunteer at the Eagle River Methodist Camp in Juneau, Alaska.

Dabliz can also still be found tending to her yard and is reluctant to give up shoveling the Michigan snow – though neighbors have started beating her to it. With the exception of some subtle changes, her ostomy regiment remains routine. She consistently uses the same products.

Dabliz is an active member of her church and has gone on many mission trips over the years in countries such as Jamaica and Costa Rica. “I’ve had to use outhouses in Alaska and done mission work after Hurricane Katrina,” Dabliz says. Even in these tight living quarters, nobody knew she had an ostomy.

An ostomy has never gotten in the way of her passion for traveling and cruising the world with her older sister. The pair have even circumnavigated Australia and New Zealand. Her advice; “I take extra supplies and always bring some on carry-on and have never had any trouble flying. Just do it. Go swimming, do whatever you want to do,” she says.

In celebration of her 60th Stomaversary and 85th Birthday, Dabliz is hoping to take a Holland America cruise around Iceland with her sister. Her minister and family have known of her ostomy but she hopes to tell more friends about what this landmark occasion means to her. Dabliz is confident they will take the news in stride as they help her celebrate a life that could have been cut way too short if not for that long ago ostomy surgery.