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Friends and Fun: How I was able to Maintain Friendships and Enjoy Social Activities While Living with an Ostomy

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By LaTesha Harrison-Thompson

Living with an ostomy can bring about significant changes in your life, but it doesn’t mean you have to give up your social life or let go of cherished friendships. Here’s my story of how I kept my friendships and social life intact while living with an ostomy during my teenage/young adult years.

My friends were more than willing to make small accommodations, whether that meant picking a restaurant with accessible restrooms or planning less physically demanding outings.

Open Communication

Although this was extremely hard, transparency was my first step. I found it helpful to explain my condition to my close friends. It wasn’t always easy, but being honest about my needs and limitations made a world of difference. Their support and understanding grew out of their awareness of my situation, turning what could have been an awkward subject into a source of mutual trust and strength. I didn’t reveal my condition to everyone and most family did not know but the small core that did know was understanding and accepting. Trusting your friends and family to care for you when you are unable is a huge step.

Choosing Comfort and Confidence

I took some time to learn about my new normal, which included finding the right ostomy supplies that worked for me. Comfortable and discreet options boosted my confidence, making me feel more at ease in social settings. This confidence was key to enjoying myself without constantly worrying about my ostomy.

Planning Ahead

For outings and get-togethers, a bit of planning went a long way. I always carried a small kit with extra supplies, and scouted out restrooms when I arrived at new places. This allowed me to relax and have fun without the nagging fear of unexpected issues.

Adapting Activities

I realized that while some activities might require slight adjustments, I didn’t have to miss out. Whether it was cheerleading, going to the mall, or just a night out, finding ways to adapt and participate fully kept my social life vibrant and my confidence boosted. My friends were more than willing to make small accommodations, whether that meant picking a restaurant with accessible restrooms or planning less physically demanding outings.

Lean on Support Groups

Connecting with others who have similar experiences can provide a unique form of support and camaraderie. Although I didn’t have this opportunity growing up, joining an ostomy support group can offer practical tips and emotional encouragement, and you can make great friends who truly understand your journey.


Staying Positive and Proactive

Maintaining a positive attitude was crucial. Instead of focusing on limitations, I embraced what I could still do and enjoyed the moments with friends to the fullest. By staying proactive in managing my health and well-being, I found that my ostomy became just a small part of my life rather than a barrier.

Living with an ostomy certainly comes with its challenges, but with the right mindset and strategies, friendships and social activities don’t have to take a backseat. By prioritizing communication, confidence, and adaptability, I discovered that I could still lead a fulfilling and fun-filled life.

How to Have a Thriving Social Life While Living With an Ostomy

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Getting to a place where you feel confident in yourself and your new routine might take some time. There are many factors to consider following your ostomy surgery, but there are also many resources available to you while you are adjusting to normal life. Having a thriving social life is not out of the question, and with some time and patience with your body, you will be living your best life.

Beginning Stages

In the beginning, it will be important to keep some sort of a journal or diary as you experiment with new foods and beverages. Figuring out how different foods and beverages affect your body will influence your social life with regards to dining out. It might be helpful to eat smaller meals more often throughout your day as you record what foods tend to cause more gas or which foods are harder for your body to break down. Remember to drink lots of water and chew your food well.

As you move from blander and softer foods to a more regular and high-fiber foods, you will notice more regularity in your bowel movements. Understanding your body’s schedule will be key in planning outings, dates, and events. As you begin to venture out of the house more, remember to bring extra supplies with you and locate the restrooms should you need one with short notice.

Getting Out There

As your confidence builds, and your ostomy becomes routine and normal to you, saying ‘yes’ to more things will become easier and easier. If you were an active person before your surgery, you will be able to resume your active lifestyle. Whether going to the gym, running along the beach, hiking through a forest, or playing a pick-up game of basketball, exercise is key to keeping you mentally, emotionally and physically fit. While you will need to be cautious in the beginning so you can fully heal, there are few limitations on what your body can do with ostomy. If you are having a hard time figuring out what clothing or specific products will help to keep things in place during your activities, Coloplast has put together solutions for a variety of different sports and activities.

Making friends aware of your new ostomy can be intimidating at first. Preparing an informative, concise story to tell people may help ease your mind. Connecting with your friends and family can help you to stay positive and hopeful and will make the transition back to regular life much more manageable. Share as little or as much as you feel comfortable about your ostomy, but keep in mind that talking about it can be beneficial to both parties.

If you are in a romantic relationship, it is likely that your partner is already aware of your surgery and new ostomy. Good communication and honesty about your feelings and your partner’s feelings will be vital to the future of your relationship. It may take time for you to feel ready to be sexually active following your surgery, but exploring this as a couple and in the timing that works best for you will go a long way in helping your relationship succeed.

Meet Others Like You

You are not alone in this new change to your body. There are many people living with an ostomy already out there who are interested in connecting and sharing their stories. It can be helpful to talk to someone who is in a similar situation and who will understand the ups and downs of this new routine. Getting connected to a group or network that shares your story can be radically healing and help with your confidence and self-esteem, not to mention broaden your social network. If you aren’t ready to venture out to a group just yet, you may want to begin by watching and hearing stories from others living with an ostomy to see how they were able to travel, date, go back to work, stay active, and enjoy a healthy sex life.

Whatever stage you are at in your recovery and healing process; if you are adapting to a new routine with your pouching system or working your way to sexual confidence with a partner, know that it is possible. While it may feel daunting to say yes to a date or go out to dinner with a group of friends, with just a little extra planning and the support of others, you can have a thriving social life with an ostomy.

 

Editor’s note: This article is from one of our digital sponsors, Coloplast. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.