Tag Archive for: ostomy pouch

Do you speak stoma?

, , , , , , ,

A New Guide aims to help you find the right words to talk about your ostomy

By Joga Ivatury, M.D., MHA

The Speaking Stoma Guide is the first health communication guide for people with ostomies. This work was coproduced through collaboration with ostomates worldwide, UOAA, clinical experts, and health communication experts. This guide is freely available here on UOAA’s website, encompassing 11 communication topics areas including managing pouch leaks, communicating with friends and family, and intimacy.

This work has been inspired by our experience working with ostomates. We recognize that talking about your ostomy will not always be easy. We created the Speaking Stoma Guide to help. We hope this guide gives you an idea of things you could say if you are ever in similar situations and ways to manage challenging social situations that may arise. Each section has a big topic and has different situations that you may experience. In the next section, we will provide a snapshot of situations inspired by real people with ostomies.

Leaks
In this section, we have suggestions for what you might say to help manage the situation based on how much you want to disclose about having an ostomy. These phrases were produced directly from things ostomates told us. For people who did not want to disclose anything about having an ostomy (low disclosure), a person may say, “Can you show me how to get to the bathroom?” For high disclosure, a person may say, “Can you show me how to get to the restroom? My ostomy pouch has leaked and I need to clean up. Would you be able to find me an extra set of clothes? I really appreciate it!” Each section has several suggestions like this.

Talking About Food
With an ostomy, some people have limitations on the food that they can eat. Some ostomates expressed embarrassment when they couldn’t eat the same food everyone else is eating. It’s hard to say “no” whenever someone offers you food. One participant noted that he once told a host on behalf of his wife: “Please don’t take offense. She doesn’t eat these things. It’s not your cooking.” For higher disclosure, a person may say “Thank you so much for inviting me. After my surgery I’m still figuring out the foods that make me feel best, so I ate before I came. Everything looks delicious!” In general, there are many people with and without ostomies that have dietary restrictions.

Public Restrooms
What do you do when you need to use a public restroom to care for your ostomy and there is a long line! For low disclosure, you may consider saying: “Excuse me, I have an emergency and need to get to a restroom right now.” This does not reveal anything to strangers except the urgent need. For higher disclosure, you may reveal the presence of your ostomy and the rapid need for its care. People in line can be helpful too. One of our participants recalls how a stranger helped her get to the front of the line during a pouch leak.

Talking to Friends and Family
Time with friends and family are vital to everyone. How do you address having an ostomy with them? Some of our participants suggested having a “code name” for the ostomy that they can use with their family and friends to talk it in public. Unfortunately, some people have disparaging comments or jokes about ostomies once they know about it. Some ostomates use humor back to deflect the situation. It is also ok to say: “I am not really comfortable joking about my ostomy like that, but I am glad you will be willing to help if I need it. I really appreciate it.”

Noises
Noises happen! People with ostomies have no control of when they happen. In the beginning, our participants noted that they felt awkward about the noises their ostomies made. It helped people to remember that no one knows that the noises came from the ostomy. It is ok to say nothing (low disclosure). It is also ok to say: “Excuse me, I have an ostomy pouch and sometimes it makes noises” (medium disclosure).

Sex and Intimacy
Some people are not sure when or how to tell a romantic partner about their ostomy. There is no right or wrong time. Some people may choose to tell someone immediately, while other people might wait to tell the person until they know the person better. Your comfort is what is most important. We have suggestions and real-life testimonies in the guide related to speaking about sex and intimacy while having an ostomy.

Talking to Clinicians
We also go through ways to manage different levels of challenging social situations or what we term as “difficulty.” For example, you are in a clinical visit with a new physician who is not familiar with ostomies. Our participants universally encountered this situation. They noted that they often are the most knowledgeable person about ostomies in a clinical visit. In the guide we provide some easy to remember suggestions about how to manage this situation and others.

What’s Next?
We are scientists and this work does not end here. We are actively working to obtain funding to test this guide to see if it makes a difference for people with ostomies. We have also translated the guide into Spanish and are pilot testing it with people who prefer to speak in Spanish. Our experiences with major grant organizations, however, has been underwhelming to say the least. Some reviewers talk about “osteotomies” (surgically created bone holes) instead of ostomies demonstrating their complete lack of basic understanding. Other reviewers assumed that existing information already contained a wealth of communication-related information for ostomates. Despite these, we are undeterred and will keep pushing forward for funding. We would appreciate any support for this work from anyone including the ostomy community, ostomy pouch manufacturers, and local/state health agencies to keep the momentum going! We would also appreciate your feedback on the Speaking Stoma Guide. Please feel free to email me at jivatury@austin.utexas.edu.

Joga Ivatury, M.D., MHA, is an associate professor of surgery Dell Medical School and the inaugural chief of colon and rectal surgery at UT Health Austin. The Speaking Stoma Project was funded through the Communication for Health, Empathy, and Resilience Grant Program and created in partnership with Dell Medical School and the Center for Health Communication at The University of Texas at Austin.

Why Larry David’s “Colostomy Bag” Curb episode is making me speak out about my ostomy after 48 years

, , , , ,

By Robin Bergstein Berman

The latest episode of Larry David’s, Curb Your Enthusiasm was called “The Colostomy Bag” and during an attempt to be humorous, his usually (awkward and despicable character) made disparaging comments relating to ostomates. At least it opened up room for discussion… It’s the first time that I posted on my Facebook page about my one-and-done Ileostomy surgery 48 years ago and I received nothing but words of support. I shared below why I found the episode harmful:

“Being an ostomate does not define me.” Says Robin, 63, and has had her ileostomy for 48 years, finding health and a full life after ulcerative colitis.

This is too important not to address so I’m about to “out” myself for those who do not know. Larry David’s, Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that aired tonight was called “The Colostomy Bag” and it was harmful for a few reasons. I’m able to laugh at myself but this was not funny mostly because it passed along inaccurate information and promoted public stigmas that could cost lives. Those who desperately need a life-saving surgery (for bowel diseases, cancers and more), often put it off far too long due to inaccurate public opinion including that of too many doctors.

There were three primary comments that were said, I want to address about the episode while giving only a glimpse of my journey. First of all, not all who have an ostomy have a colostomy and therefore do not wear ”Colostomy Bags”. Larry kept saying colostomy as if it encompassed all ostomies… it doesn’t.

Secondly, having an ostomy is not the worst thing that anyone could possibly have. He made it sound as if it is. It’s life-saving and has given me personally 48 more years of life to date that I wouldn’t have had without the complete colectomy/Ileostomy I was given in a nine hour surgery in 1975. I would not be here without it since I was bleeding to death and not able to recover after given the maximum doses of steroids for an extended period of time. Polyps, the breeding grounds for cancer cells were present and multiple were seen when my entire colon and rectum were removed at 15 years old. The pain I endured prior to surgery was unfathomable and I won’t here expand on all of what I experienced. I had the most severe chronic ulcerative colitis, spending weeks and months at a time in the hospital from 11 to 15 years old.

Robin with her two, now adult sons, whom she carried to term and had by emergency c-section after her ileostomy surgery.

Back to the episode; there is no such thing as a “shit in the bag look” for anyone thinking there is, like Larry. It was only slightly humorous in the context, but for someone facing this surgery and not knowing, there is no facial indications that we wear an appliance/pouch/bag. Now when he felt guilty about his comment to the car salesmen and wondered if he could gift a Louie Vitton Illeostomy Bag, that I’d like !!!…lol THIS was funny when Larry brought it up.

While they did say the car smelled like smoking, they alluded to it smelling like the man’s ostomy bag which is also not a “thing”. Popular public thinking is that ostomates smell, are unattractive, unappealing, not sexy or sexual and should be pitied. This too is not true. Within months after my surgery, I was at the beach away with my friend and her family, continued my relationship with my first boyfriend and went onto have others, didn’t miss a beat with school and countless other activities which were extensive and then went onto college away two years after my surgery. I’ve lived a full, active, useful life, carried both of our sons to term, working primarily but not exclusively in fragrance and cosmetics and certainly do not smell bad being told my entire life that I smell good (lol). In fact the first thing that attracted my husband to me was how I smelled at a bar after fragrance modeling all day.

I wear almost everything I want with some exceptions and am fashionable according to most. I’ve heard from too many that someone would rather be dead than to wear an ostomy bag. It’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard all caused by antiquated public opinion that is not valid and what this last episode of Larry David continues to promote.

I was going to wait until my 50-year anniversary with my ileostomy to reach out and make myself available but this prompted me to do it sooner.

Without fail when TV, even medical dramas, present ostomy surgery and the wearing of an appliance, they present it unfairly, wrong and impose additional stigmas. Don’t misinterpret me since adjusting to it sucks and there are challenges but it’s totally doable and makes a person no less the person they were in any way other than making them hopefully healthier.

If any one of you are facing this now or in the future, I am more than willing to help you or anyone you care about, to get through and adjust by listening, empathizing and giving you the tips and tricks I learned from a lifetime, 48 years, through all stages and phases of life.

Robin and her husband of 34 years.

It’s so much easier to find info today with social media than when I learned to adjust on my own without an ostomy, now a community is a click of a phone away and with laser surgery lessening the more invasive total cutting my body went through.

I was triggered tonight by the episode knowing how people are discouraged by doctors and the public’s misconceptions, I just had to address it not for me but for others. Ostomates are all ages and sexes and all walks of life including some professional athletes. Please let me know if you have any questions but mostly if you or a loved one are facing this life saving surgery, I’d be glad to help.If anyone would like to share my post, I’ll be glad to make it shareable by allowing public access. Let me know.

I was going to wait until my 50-year anniversary with my ileostomy to reach out and make myself available but this prompted me to do it sooner. I help where I can in the support groups and over 48 years ago tried forming a youth group here in Pittsburgh for ostomates, spoke to auditoriums full of high schoolers at various schools trying to discuss differences and acceptance for all and was always received well.  I went on a local talk show regarding my surgery back in 1975. Being an ostomate does not define me so I spend little time discussing it unless I can be of help or it’s in a relevant conversation, which it is this week!

Editors note: The humor of the Larry character in Curb Your Enthusiasm is often built around his selfish and ignorant views. In past episodes with characters who are disabled or have a disease, those characters are usually used to help magnify his faults. This episode did not include an ostomate character just the perception of what one would be like and what life would be like with one. The opportunity for awareness, such as what Michael J Fox brought to Parkinson’s in his past episodes, was missed. 

Want to get a more positive ostomy awareness message on TV and social media? Share UOAA’s Ostomy Public Service Announcement.

 

Resilience Story: Chris Seyler

, , , , , , , , ,

Chris Seyler joined the Phoenix (Arizona) Ostomy Support Groups during COVID times and met up with the group at a park ostomy meeting. Recovering from long term illness and recent surgery, he was ready to find his way back to normal life.

Chris was born in the Phoenix area. While growing up his parents taught him to be active in a team sport, exercise and stay away from bad habits in life.  Chris played basketball and ran track, being nominated for all state in both sports. Receiving a basketball scholarship, and motivated by teachers and coaches, Chris majored in Kinesiology and Science from The Master’s University and became a teacher.

While in college Chris met his wife Colleen, also a teacher. Their son, Nathan, shares his parents’ passion for teaching and athletics and was selected to be in a Disney running movie, MacFarland, USA. Father-Son teamed up to coach school teams in Track and Basketball, winning state Championships.

Following his passion, and inspired by his son, Chris started competing in more events. From 2003 to 2017 he competed in 5ks, 10ks, half and full marathons, triathlons, Ironman, and obstacle racing. It was after AZ IRONMAN 2013 that Chris was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and started losing weight in 2017.  The next couple of years were tough; in and out of the hospitals for nutrition and dehydration and battling a bacterium in his colon.  Various medications and infusions did not help with easing the illness and emergency surgery was performed in 2019.

Weak from illness and surgery Chris retired from his full-time teaching job and put his running shoes aside.

As time went on and recovery was underway, Chris set a goal to run a 5k. Not able to keep up with his wife, she encouraged him to walk, jog, and run. Hydration was always important as part of Chris’ races, but not having a colon taught him he had to be even more diligent about it.  During Run for Resilience Ostomy 5k 2021, Colleen ran the race. Chris walked and rested with his dog…but he finished…and his passion was returning! While training he worked on improving balance and strength and was able to jog/run at the Arizona Run for Resilience Ostomy 5k in 2022. Chris will be participating this year on the Arizona Virtual Race Team as part of the 2023 Run for Resilience Virtual Ostomy 5k on October 7th.

Passionate about life after ostomy surgery; Chris is teaching part-time, is the Phoenix Ostomy Group Secretary and the Meeting Leader at HH Cowden Center ostomy meetings.

To learn more or sign-up for the Run for Resilience Ostomy 5k visit ostomy.org/5k. You can donate to UOAA fundraisers by Chris and other resilient participants here. 

Resilience Story: Maria Sandoval

, , , , , , , , ,

Hi, my name is Maria Sandoval. I wanted to come on here and share my story with you. You may ask, why am I putting the Run for Resilience Ostomy 5k run/walk/roll together in my community? Because it has given me my life back.

In November of 2022 I had surgery to get an ostomy because my ulcerative colitis was getting worse. I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 2012. Ulcerative colitis is an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) that causes inflammation and ulcers (sores) in your digestive tract. Ulcerative Colitis affects the innermost lining of your large intestine, also called the colon, and rectum. In most people, symptoms usually develop over time, rather than suddenly.

In my case my symptoms did develop over time and things got worse in 2020. The medication I was put on was no longer working. My body was shutting down and therefore my doctor recommended colorectal surgery.

It’s important to me to shine light on ostomies and to give hope to my ostomy community in Arkansas and show them that they are not alone.

Me during a Remicade infusion for ulcerative colitis before making the choice to have ostomy surgery.

I had no idea what this surgery was nor did I know anyone that had undergone this type of surgery. The fear of the unknown put me off from having this done. I was fortunate to have a great surgeon with a great team who gave me all the information I could ask for. They were patient with me, and so understanding of all my feelings. They answered my questions and addressed my concerns. Having that information and having faith, helped me make the decision to have this surgery. I had hope for the first time since being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis.

Currently, it’s 2023 and I am 33 and I have my life back. For the first time in a decade I can honestly say I feel safe in my body. I have energy, I feel empowered and I’m here to share my story. Making the decision to have my colon removed and have an ostomy was the best thing I could have done for myself.

I am here to stop the stigma around having an Ostomy. I am here to highlight the positives of having one and how it has impacted my life.

I learned about UOAA through social media. I went to ostomy.org to look up what UOAA is all about and saw that they had a 5k run for Ostomy Awareness Day every October. I have always loved to run in races and thought how cool it would be if I could bring this run to my area. I contacted UOAA to see if they would like to have Northwest Arkansas be part of their Run for Resilience Ostomy 5k and they were more than happy to do so.

I was so proud to have finished the race. I wasn’t racing for time, rather, I was racing for me. My ostomy gave me back my confidence in running.

Me 19 days after my Ostomy Surgery.

The Run for Resilience Ostomy 5k is the major fundraiser for all the great things UOAA does. UOAA has great resources to help with recovery and one of those resources I happened to stumble upon is their support group finder. UOAA does a great job of locating support groups and WOC nurses in your area. Forever grateful for that! I also use their site for educational information, self-advocacy checklists, and finding events they have going on, like the Run for the Resilience Ostomy 5k and their National Conference.

By hosting and taking part in the Run for Resilience I hope to spread awareness on ostomies and continent diversion surgery. It’s important to me to shine light on ostomies and to give hope to my ostomy community in Arkansas and show them that they are not alone. That they have a community to go to.

My mother is helping me host our first event. I am so grateful to have my family help me through this journey. My husband and mother were my caregivers before and after surgery. Making the decision to have surgery was a difficult one, but they both helped me through it.

I hope everyone no matter of where they are out takes part in a Run for Resilience event near them or the Worldwide Virtual Ostomy 5k. I love sharing photos like the one here of a half-marathon I ran five months post-op! Everyone should go at their own pace and talk to their doctor, but for me I think it was one month after my ostomy surgery when I started to train for the half marathon. I took it pretty slow. I began by walking a mile and slowly worked my way up to a jog. By month four I was feeling great and feeling like my old self. I was so proud to have finished the race. I wasn’t racing for time, rather, I was racing for me. My ostomy gave me back my confidence in running.

I would run races here and there before my ostomy surgery. My ulcerative colitis would make it difficult at times to run, but when it was in remission I was happy to get back to running. I have always enjoyed running because it was the one thing I could control in my life. My ostomy gave that back to me. Ostomies are truly life savers!

To sign-up or donate to a Run for Resilience Ostomy 5k event near you visit ostomy.org/5k. Support or learn more about Maria’s event, the Rogers, Arkansas Ostomy 5k and follow her 5k on Instagram.

Lee-Ann Watanabe–Living with an Ostomy

, , , , ,

My ulcerative colitis, IBD and ileostomy journeys have been a long road for sure! I spent most of my 30s trying every single pill, steroid, infusion, shot, diet, and remedy you could possibly fathom, all without relief. When the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN suggested that I undergo ileostomy surgery, I knew I was ready. After a decade of suffering, I was reborn on December 7th, 2015, following a permanent and total proctocolectomy with ileostomy.

My advice for others diagnosed with IBD and/or contemplating ostomy surgery, would be for them to ask ALL the questions; especially of your medical team. I was young and naive when first diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. Upon initial diagnosis, I didn’t think it was that serious. I didn’t believe I was sick, and all I wanted to do was get well and get back to racing triathlon. I took any and every medication doctors gave me, and I never questioned any of it. I never asked for a different way. I never thought that 10 years later, all the medications would stop working or not work at all. If I could do it over, I would find a doctor who was highly experienced with IBD patients.

If I could let people know something about IBD, it would be that I am a living, breathing example of invisible illness. I never looked sick. Even when sick, I continued my competitive triathlon racing. Don’t judge a book by its cover. My sport was my outlet; something I could control while my body continually failed me. Everything happens in your mind. With a positive outlook and a great attitude, everything is possible!

For many years, sick was my new normal. I was not living life; I was just surviving life with UC. Now, as an ostomate, I can say with 100% certainty that I am free. When I made the decision to have surgery, I decided I would advocate to show the world what people living with an ostomy can do. And you know what? There isn’t anything someone living with an ostomy CAN’T do!

Read more: https://meplus.convatec.com/articles/meet-lee-ann-watanabe/

 

Editor’s note: This blog is from one of our digital sponsors, Convatec. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

 

‘UOAA Has Been A Lifesaver for Me’ Says New Ostomate

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

When first presented with having a “bag” I was terrified. I had a lot of questions…. How will I wear my clothes? Will I still be able to run or lift weights? Will I ever date again? How can I go to the beach? And so many more. I really was not familiar with this at all.

How UOAA Helps: Connie contacted UOAA before surgery earlier this year and is now on the path to health and happiness in life with an ostomy. Donate to help the next ostomate in need.

I did my fair share of googling, but there are so many conflicting pieces of information out there. I also joined some Facebook groups to find some support.  That proved to be very confusing and often quite discouraging. In February of 2023, a week before my surgery, I met with an ostomy nurse for the first time.  That is when it hit me.  She showed me a practice stoma, put my markings on, and had me look in a mirror with a bag.  I realized I needed more information in order to navigate this the best I can.

Finding UOAA

I came home and searched for ostomy support groups in my area and found one. I immediately connected with them, and they shared UOAA’s information with me. I then went on to their website ostomy.org to gain as much knowledge as possible. I went into surgery with a positive attitude because I knew my life would be so much better afterward.

The people I talked to at UOAA’s office were so helpful! They answered all my questions, and I had a lot!  They directed me to many resources like a New Patient Guide and sent me links to videos and other information which I still use. It is reassuring to know that I can reach out with questions and that they will be there for support.

UOAA has been a lifesaver for me. I was overwhelmed following my ostomy surgery. I am so excited that I am feeling better. I am so appreciative of the connections I have been able to make and the educational materials I have received by contacting UOAA.

On February 23, 2023, I had surgery for an end ileostomy, total colectomy, rectopexy, and hernia and bladder repair. After a lifetime of being a prisoner to my colon and GI tract, a ton of medications, and a ridiculous daily twelve-hour ritual that dictated my days, I finally was given hope to improve my quality of life. The day after surgery I already knew this was the right thing for me, and I somehow felt “free” of all the meds and issues I had before.

Helpful Free Resources

UOAA sent me a welcome packet in the mail with a ton of info about nutrition, living with an ostomy, exercise materials, you name it. The coolest thing was the card to use with TSA when I fly… that is going to be a lifesaver, I think! I had many questions about getting back to my normal activities, and I was sent links to Youtube and even Instagram of people that have ostomies and have resumed, or even surpassed, their pre-ostomy fitness routines.

My experience has definitely been better with my local ostomy group and with UOAA by my side.

A link to an occupational therapist was also helpful. I started following and connecting with many of these people, as I have found inspiration in them. I have since called UOAA several more times seeking answers to my questions, concerns, or even worries. Each time they have promptly responded and provided me with continued optimism as I begin this ostomy journey.

UOAA Helped Me Feel ‘Normal’ Again

I think that the biggest thing is that UOAA helped me to feel “normal” and that I am not alone in this.  Starting out with an ostomy is pretty scary, and there are a lot of unknowns. So much of what you read is negative from people that have had problems or are just very discouraged with their situations. UOAA shares the successes, the positives, and the education so that you can learn and grow each day knowing that you don’t have to give up anything at all.

For me, I plan to get back to my full fitness routine once I am fully recovered. I already feel healthier than I have for so many years.  But I know I still have a lot of learning to do… from appliances (I still can’t figure out the best ones for me), to the different types of foods to eat, to stoma care (I still always want to make sure everything is okay), to traveling, exercise, clothing, wraps, connecting with other people with ostomies, and maybe even dating again in my future. My experience has definitely been better with my local ostomy group and with UOAA by my side.

Grateful to Learn More at the National Conference this Summer

I’m also very thankful to have been awarded a CARES scholarship (FYI, current scholarships have been filled) to attend UOAA’s National Conference in Houston. This assistance will allow me to continue on my journey in a healthy and positive way.

As a single 57-year-old mom, I have three grown children (one still in graduate school), a new granddaughter, and two younger children I adopted, one with unique medical needs – it has not been easy. Last year’s hurricane, coupled with the astronomical surgery costs, have me struggling greatly on a teacher’s salary. I have worked really hard to provide for other people, and I’ve never really done for me.

This conference is something I feel is important for me as I want to be able to live my life to the fullest. I strive to be the best Nana, mom, and person I can be. I want to embrace my body, my life with an ostomy, and continually improve my quality of life.. It will allow me to move forward, make connections, gain much-needed knowledge, be an advocate for myself and others, and to stay “OSTOMISTIC!” 

One day I can even envision myself advocating for others in the ostomy world, being active in the ostomy community, and I would love to get to the point where I can even be an inspiration to others.

Connie, you are already inspiring to those of us at UOAA.

Please Donate to UOAA to put other people like Connie on a successful path.  Support quality of life resources, education and advocacy for people living with an ostomy or continent diversion. United Ostomy Associations of America inc. (UOAA) is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and all donations are tax deductible. Thank you!

Shared by Connie Pollina of Naples, Florida

Telling People About Your Ostomy

, , , , , , ,

It’s been said before, but it is worth repeating: who you tell about your ostomy and when you tell them is completely up to you. This is the first and foremost rule you should keep in mind when it comes to sharing about your ostomy. Most likely others won’t know you have an ostomy unless you bring it up.  If you are reading this before your surgery, you will need to think about what kind of support you are looking for. As you decide to let people in on your new situation, consider who can offer you the support and friendship you need during this time.

Place of Work

There is no right or wrong way when it comes to sharing about your ostomy at work. It might be that no one needs to know about it, it doesn’t affect your work and you are receiving enough support from friends and family and other people outside of work. Or, your situation might be that you need to take frequent breaks to empty your pouch and so explaining a little bit about your surgery will help your employer to understand what’s going on. Again, feel free to be as specific or general as you want. It might even be helpful to write out a small script so you can go into this conversation with added confidence. Decide how much you want to share, and how willing you are to answer questions.

Family and Close Friends

Hopefully, you aren’t trying to go through this life-changing experience alone. Family and/or friends should be the foundation of your support network. Having someone you trust at medical appointments with you can be helpful for your morale, but also to have another set of ears to remember details and information that you may have missed. When you decide to let other people close to you in on the reality of your situation, ask the person who was with you at those appointments to be there to support you. It’s amazing how much more confident we can feel having the energy of a loving and loyal person at our side.

Romantic Partners

If you are in a committed relationship prior to your surgery, then it’s likely they will be informed of your ostomy and the changes to your body. While it can be scary to let people in and tell them about your ostomy, it can be even scarier to be alone in the process. Going through this with a partner by your side can be so beneficial to your recovery process, and can also help to strengthen your relationship.

Dating after your ostomy can seem daunting at first, but as you heal and become more and more comfortable with your new routine, your confidence will grow.  Keep in mind that it’s completely up to you when to tell a new romantic partner about your ostomy. As with your workmates, you may want to take the time to figure out what you want to say before you say it. It’s okay to keep it short and basic and then decide if you want to take some time to answer questions.

Confidence

The more confident and comfortable you are with your ostomy, the more this will show when you speak about it. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself time to heal and get used to the changes and new routine that an ostomy brings. Try to focus on the positive things that having an ostomy surgery has done for you and your body. It may be helpful to speak with others who are in a similar situation.  Talk to someone who has gone before you and find out how they told people about their ostomy.

It’s up to you who you tell, when you tell them and how you do it.

Visit the Coloplast Care site for more information on sharing about your ostomy at work.

 

Information from Coloplast® Care is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice and should not be interpreted to contain treatment recommendations. You should rely on the healthcare professional who knows your individual history for personal medical advice and diagnosis.

Editor’s note: This blog is from one of our digital sponsors, Coloplast. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Daily Living with an Ostomy

, , , , , , , ,

Every Individual is Unique so Don’t Put Restrictions on Yourself Based on Others

By Lisa Febre

The morning after my colectomy, the first question I had for my surgeon was “can I still do yoga?” My surgeon had a good-natured and amused response: “Please give yourself two weeks to recover from this surgery, and then you can do all the yoga you want.” He also told me that with my specific colostomy, in two weeks I could get back to my regular diet with no restrictions. (I’ve since learned those with an ileostomy have different considerations.)

Sure enough, two weeks later, once I was sufficiently recovered, I was living out his predictions. I was back on the yoga mat, twisting myself into pretzels, lifting into tricky arm balances, and standing on my head. I was outdoors hiking and running. For the first week after surgery, I was following a soft-solids diet, and by the second week I was eating whatever I wanted. By the end of the month, I was even eating Reuben sandwiches with sauerkraut!

I knew no boundaries because I had none.

It wasn’t until I joined a support group on social media that I noticed people were questioning things I was taking for granted like taking a shower, exercising, wearing pants, and eating vegetables. Are there eating restrictions for ostomates? Was it possible some people were told they could not exercise with their ostomy? The answer is …yes… ish.

Showering with an Ostomy

I was given a temporary colostomy in December 2021 when I was diagnosed with Stage-4c Colon Cancer (at the age of 47). There is no way around it: this is a big shock to the body and the mind. But the only thing I could think about was getting into the shower and washing off the five days’ worth of sweat and grime that had accumulated on my body during my hospital stay. I stripped down, my new Hollister 2-piece system hanging off of me and stepped into the shower. I didn’t think about the bag at all, I just showered like I normally did. When I was done, I dried myself and the bag off with a towel, and… that was it. I did this every single day without a second thought.

I would laugh at myself and say: it’s just poop, it’s not nuclear waste!

Weeks later, I was surprised to learn people commenting online were wrapping up their colostomy bags with layers of plastic wrap and were trying desperately to keep their abdomens out of the water. Wait… are we not supposed to get the bags wet? That didn’t sound right to me. The barrier has to be taken off with adhesive removal wipes or sprays, and even then, it can be difficult to separate it from your skin. The durable plastic receptacle bag is meant to hold all kinds of bodily fluids, it seems obvious that it should be able to handle a little soap and water. The customer service reps at both Hollister and Coloplast concurred: they specifically told me that their products are meant to be used while showering, bathing, and even swimming, with no extra accessories. Again, because no one told me I couldn’t, I was already doing these things. It was heartbreaking to see so many of my fellow ostomates avoiding basic hygiene for fear of doing it with the bag on.

It seems like the solution might be to shower without the appliance. There tends to be even more fear surrounding this practice of naked showers. Again, this was something that I had already done without asking for permission. One day I was changing my appliance, decided it would be a great time to shower, and just jumped in. The soap on my newly exposed skin felt fantastic, my stoma looked to be enjoying the water running down my belly. Naked showers were soothing and necessary for my peace of mind. I always felt the cleanest when I showered without my appliance. The skin under the barrier stayed healthy and the adhesives worked much better. Always close at hand was a disposable plastic cup filled 1/4 up with water which I used to catch any “visitors” that might erupt from my exposed stoma during my shower. I would laugh at myself and say: it’s just poop, it’s not nuclear waste!

Exercising with an Ostomy

This is something you absolutely must talk to your doctor about. I can’t give you proper advice since everyone has a different risk value for a parastomal hernia (that’s when your intestines try to push their way through the incision around the stoma). Although 50% of people with a stoma will get a parastomal hernia, that doesn’t mean you are going to get one. Your surgeon will assess your risk. I had almost no risk of one of these hernias because I was fit and active before the surgery; there was a low likelihood that my incision site would fail while I had the stoma. I was told I could begin exercising again 2 weeks post-op. Alternately, when I had my reversal surgery 10 months later, my surgeon said there is a slightly higher risk of a hernia at the closure site and wanted me to wait 8 weeks before lifting anything over 10 pounds, and that included doing yoga.

Even within one person, my risks were different for each surgery. This is why you have to have a clear assessment from your doctor and follow their directions. Some people may still develop a hernia despite following their surgeon’s directions. It’s important to question and clarify, but ultimately listen to your doctor– and not just people online, this gives you the best chance for success.

Dressing with an Ostomy

This is a tricky one for ostomates because everyone’s stoma is in a slightly different spot. I was able to wear jeans and form-fitting clothing because the location of my stoma made that possible. Someone else may have their stoma exactly where the rigid waistband of their favorite jeans falls, which can be an issue. Your clothing isn’t necessarily going to hurt the stoma, but you do need to save room for when your stoma has output. For some, tight-fitting clothing can restrict the bag, forcing the output backward toward your skin and under the barrier.

Dressing is definitely not a one-size-fits-all situation, so unfortunately no one can really give someone else game-changing advice. Be ready to experiment, but always wear clothing that makes you feel good. It was important to me to wear jeans, so I bought new jeans with a lower waistband that fell just under my stoma. Many other women invest in maternity pants. But I never left the house feeling frumpy. My colostomy was not in charge of my fashion sense, I was!

Eating with an Ostomy

Everyone has a unique reason for having an ostomy. In my case, I had my colostomy because of cancer; I had no pre-existing intestinal issues or dietary restrictions. If you are like me and could eat whatever you wanted before, chances are high that your doctor will tell you you can go back to that way of eating after your surgery. But some people, who come to a colostomy or ileostomy through ulcerative colitis or Crohn’s disease (or other gastrointestinal disease), may already have restrictions that they still need to take into consideration. An ostomy does not always magically erase your special diet for your IBD.

The general rule is however you ate before your colostomy is how you can eat now.

It does not rule you; it is not the most important thing about you, and it does not define your life.

I am vegan and I had no trouble eating any vegetables with my colostomy. UOAA’s trusted Eating with an Ostomy Guide provides info including a standard chart of foods to avoid at first with an ileostomy or colostomy – whether that is because they create stinky output, excess gas, diarrhea, constipation, or could cause blockages. Speak with your doctor and surgeon if you are unsure how to handle building your new diet. If you’re introducing new vegetables (or any kind of food) into your post-colostomy diet, just try a little bit and see what happens! If your doctor says it’s ok, don’t be afraid to try eating the old things you love, and maybe be inspired to try some new things as well. A good practice for all is to chew thoroughly and stay hydrated.

Stay Positive with an Ostomy

Some people wonder how they can ever find something positive in something so scary as an ostomy, but it can be done. You don’t need to do it in big grand gestures or sweeping alterations in your character. Just try one little switch when the opportunity comes up. It isn’t about skipping down the street singing the praises of your ostomy, it’s about finding moments when you can see the silver lining. I thought it was sort of fun to have something so unique on my body. Very few people ever get to have this close a relationship with their intestines, so instead of feeling sorry for myself, I decided to call myself “lucky” for learning so much about how my digestive tract works.

Maybe most important of all, my ostomy led me to a UOAA support group where I met some wonderful people. I have made new friends who I would never have met without my ostomy. That is something to be very thankful for.

Spend some time every day when you force yourself to not think about your ostomy. Even if it’s just 20 seconds, it is important to learn to push this thing into the background of your life. It does not rule you; it is not the most important thing about you, and it does not define your life. Stay Positive! One day, one hour, sometimes one minute at a time, but you can do this.

Learn to Take Care of Your Ostomy

Our emotional recovery depends on regaining independence. I was only 47 when I received my ostomy. I am too young to rely on others to take care of me. I laughed when the home health aide arrived and started treating me like I was 80. I was not going to lie down and become helpless. I was going to be an active participant in my own health and recovery.

Learning how to care for yourself makes you feel like a Superhero!

If you suddenly find yourself having to depend on someone else to maintain your appliance, you will feel even more out of control and worried that something might go wrong. Believe me: something will go wrong — leaks happen to the best of us, and at the most unexpected times. If you have to wait until your nurse can come to your house, or until your partner gets home from work, you will feel more helpless with each passing day. Paranoid that something terrible will happen if you get a leak while you’re alone, you may not leave the house to run errands, you may say no to social gatherings, and you may not want to go back to work.

Learning how to care for yourself makes you feel like a Superhero! I had a cool little zipper bag that fit in my purse containing a precut barrier, 2 extra bags, 2-3 adhesive remover wipes, 2-3 skin prep wipes, a disposal bag, and a travel-size PooPourri Spray. Knowing I had all the supplies I needed to do a quick bag change in a strange bathroom gave me immense peace of mind. I could change the whole system in less than 5 minutes, all by myself!

And if you need a little smile while you fumble around with your first bag change alone, just repeat my favorite mantra out loud: I got this whole thing in the bag!

 

Lisa Febre is the author of “Round the Twist: Facing the Abdominable,” a memoir about her diagnosis and treatment of Stage-4c Colon Cancer, which hits bookshelves in September 2023. She had a descending colostomy for 10-months.

We’re here for Colorectal Cancer Survivors

, , , , , , ,

 

By Cheryl Ory, UOAA President

President Biden has proclaimed March 2023 National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month. The American Cancer Society says that colorectal cancer is the third leading cause of cancer related deaths in both men and women. On another note, the death rate has been dropping for several decades. One reason is that treatments have improved. Another reason is that colorectal polyps are now being found more after screening and removed before they can turn into a cancer.

UOAA Advocate, ostomate and colorectal cancer survivor Allison Rosen speaks on the National Mall as part of the United in Blue Rally sponsored by Fight Colorectal Cancer. Video: United in Blue Rally on the Mall (1)

In 2008 I was diagnosed with Stage 3b colorectal cancer. I was told the cancer had been developing for at least 10 years or more, most likely when I was in my early 30’s. There was a polyp, if it had been removed at an earlier date the cancer would not have developed. After radiation, chemo, surgery, and more chemo I am now a colorectal cancer survivor with a permanent colostomy, an ostomy that has saved mine and others lives from not only cancer, but other debilitating diseases.

I’m happy that UOAA is standing alongside partner organizations like Fight Colorectal Cancer to push lawmakers into giving attention to the alarming rise in young people with colorectal cancer.

With younger people being as risk and diagnosed , The U.S Preventative Services Task Force lowered the recommended screening age to 45 in 2021.  One in five colorectal cancer patients is between the ages of 20-54. Talk to your doctor about options for colorectal cancer screening. As the Colon Cancer Coalition states with earlier screening and detection, “Colorectal Cancer can be  Preventable, Treatable, Beatable.”

If you are a person still at risk, like those with IBD, let me urge you to get screened. Screening can result in any colorectal cancers being found earlier when they are easier to treat.

Here at United Ostomy Associations of America (UOAA) we have a long legacy of supporting the survivors of cancer and many other conditions so that they can have best quality of life possible. If your cancer requires a life-saving ostomy surgery remember-you are not alone. 725,000- 1 million people in the U.S. of all ages and backgrounds live with an ostomy.

Every individual person’s disease treatment is unique but ostomy surgery for colorectal cancer may mean a temporary ileostomy (from the small intestine) or colostomy (large intestine). This may be required to give a portion of the bowel a chance to rest and heal. When healing has occurred, the colostomy can often be reversed and normal bowel function restored.  It’s important to know that not everyone with an ostomy will be a candidate for a reversal operation. A permanent colostomy may be required when a disease affects the end part of the colon or rectum.

We have new Living with a Colostomy guide and ileostomy guide to help you learn as much as possible before or after you have this life changing surgery.

It’s especially important to connect with one of hundreds of  UOAA Affiliated Ostomy Support Groups in the U.S. before, or shortly after, your surgery. Peer support and preparation can put you on the path to success in what may be a challenging time both emotionally and physically.  Ask if the hospital has a certified ostomy nurse and insist on having your stoma placement marked before surgery. These and other self-advocacy tools are paramount and outlined in our Ostomy Patient Bill of Rights.

You may feel too overwhelmed as you are discharged at the hospital to fully understand ostomy pouching systems and accessories and lifestyle considerations. If you have a  medical question contact your doctor or nurse, but if you have a quality of life question-UOAA resources here at ostomy.org and peers at UOAA Affiliated Support Groups likely have the answers.

It’s important to learn the facts about living with an ostomy. After the healing period outlined by your surgeon you can swim, bathe, be intimate, travel, and embrace a new normal life. After some trial and error, you may also eat most of the foods you have been able to eat in the past. Education is key to battling misinformation.

Unfortunately misinformation and stigmas surrounding both ostomy surgery and colorectal cancer affect the number of people getting screened or getting the medical treatment they need.  Let’s work together to educate, advocate and support survivors.

 

Cheryl Ory is a colorectal cancer survivor who received a permanent colostomy in 2008. Cheryl is a Registered Nurse who has had a passion for volunteering with the ostomy community ever since and first joined UOAA’s Board of Directors in 2015. She now holds the position of President.

 

 

 

TRAVELING WITH AN OSTOMY

, , , , ,

Since extra security precautions are still being taken at airports and other transit hubs worldwide, a little pre-planning and understanding of both security rules and your right to privacy can help you avoid problems in transit and enjoy your travels.

• TSA officers should NOT ask you to show your pouch—you may be asked to rub over your pouch outside your clothing so they can test your hand to rule out explosive residue.

• In particular, remember that all airport screenings must be conducted with courtesy, dignity and respect. You may request screening in a private area at all U.S. airports and most international destinations. If you encountered treatment outside of TSA protocol you can file a complaint, (please copy UOAA’s volunteer TSA Liaison gfsalamy@comcast.net)

A few additional tips to keep you on the go:

Carry a statement from your healthcare professional stating your need for ostomy supplies AS WELL AS a Travel Communications Card (which can be found here.)

UOAA's TSA Notification Card

TSA rules state that you can be screened without having to empty or expose your ostomy; however, you may need to conduct a self pat-down of the ostomy as a test.

NOTE: You may always have a travel companion with you during a private screening.

If you are traveling to a foreign country, bring this information written in the appropriate language. Google Translate may be helpful with translations. If you find you need additional supplies while traveling, a local pharmacy is a great starting point. The local pharmacist should be able to provide you with the necessary supplies and/or refer you to a local clinic/hospital for support.

Pre-cut all cut-to-fit barriers at home. Although current United States Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) rules allow curved point scissors with blades less than 4″ in length in your carry-on luggage, keeping your ostomy scissors in your checked luggage may avoid delay and extra screening

Consider purchasing travel insurance that guarantees getting you to a hospital, if necessary.

When it comes to supplies, OVERPACK! Better safe than sorry. Pack at least three days’ worth of ostomy supplies in your carry-on luggage, just in case your checked luggage is misplaced or there are delays and/or non-availability at your destination.

Drink, drink, drink. Nothing slows down a vacation more than dehydration.

If traveling by car, take advantage of rest areas. Stop and empty your pouch regularly; you never know how far it will be until the next one!

Pack ostomy-friendly snacks.

Keep a set of clean clothes handy whether in your carry-on luggage or in the trunk of your car.

Carry a few plastic bags and wet wipes for quick clean-up.

The idea of taking long trips with an ostomy can seem daunting. But with a little extra preparation, you can enjoy the trip of a lifetime.

 

Editor’s note: This blog is from one of our digital sponsors, Convatec. Sponsor support along with donations from readers like you help to maintain our website and the free trusted resources of UOAA, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.